To think colleague shouldn’t be on permanent WFH due to his DW’s Covid risk?

[oober6]

As in the title really.

The world has opened up, social distancing requirements have gone, vaccines have given us all plenty of protection.

We are key workers who have worked throughout, coming into work every day. I would love to be able to WFH! It would be a lot less pressurised, and of course, no commute etc.

AIBU to think management should now be telling our colleague that he has to start coming back into work? He is healthy and fit.

What condition does your colleagues DW have @oober6?

@user1497207191

Shielding has been ended now.

No, not for everyone it hasn't, it still remains an option/suggestion/instruction for some people. Doctors and consultants are still recommending shielding for patients with specific vulnerabilities to Covid. There's absolutely no way of the OP knowing whether their colleague's wife has been told to continue shielding by their doctor/consultant.

Exactly. I'm CEV and my own doctors have told me to continue largely shielding. Love how OP thinks the government can magically make Covid risk vanish for people who are most endangered by it...

If there is absolutely no slack built into workloads, then that’s also a management failing. Obviously there needs to be some contingency to pick up when colleagues are not able to work or when something unexpected happens (might be an unexpected work thing, not just an event in a colleague’s life). It’s perfectly possible for HR to calculate this and make it part of every workload.

Incidentally, they can reduce the contingency required by having better management practices so people aren’t unnecessarily stressed (and therefore take more sick leave/are more prone to dropping balls/etc).

@oober6

Yanbu to be fed up if you are picking up slack from your wfh colleague who isn't even CEV himself! But if he has agreement of managers then it's down to them.

"Shielding has been ended now. "

Absolutely. Shielding for CEV patients themselves was paused on 1st April 2021 (& shielding was paused twice in 2020) and CEV population were advised to follow same precautions as everyone else from 19th July 2021 onwards

I'm CEV group. A key worker. HCP. I attend work same as my colleagues. PPE is available. I can see how it is difficult to understand how a partner of a CEV person qualifies more than CEV people themselves, however we don't know status of his wife's health and it may be nothing to do with COVID restrictions and more to do with caring for a sick relative

My husband has blood cancer and is on chemotherapy. Shielding might be over, but it’s not for us. Our decision admittedly based on a recommendation again last week from his oncologist to continue shielding. My MH is suffering, as is his, we’ve been almost no where and seen pretty much no one for 20 months. From retired people that were out lots during the week, clubs and group activities, village clubs etc etc and spending lots of time with family, it’s pure hell. My DH has been told he won’t survive Covid so we don’t have a choice. Covid is definitely not over.

I find your attitude upsetting. How would you feel if it were your nearest and dearest. I think you should speak with management about the work load but be careful and sensitive how you say it.

@Snoozer11

If some have the freedom to WFH then I think this should be extended to all.

I'm very lucky in that my workplace has embraced hybrid working. We are asked to come in at least twice a week but this isn't really monitored.

However, I have noticed one person on the team hasn't been in at all. We've had a number of days now where the team have been encouraged to come in, and she's been absent every time. I also know she hasn't been in on any other occasion either.

It doesn't affect me but I think it's bad form. If she came in just once a fortnight, I'd think this was enough, but to never come in is something else. She has a significantly shorter commute than the majority on the team and if she were manager, I get the feeling she wouldn't be keen on allowing others to WFH.

But you don’t know why she’s not coming in. My work have a similar set up, we have had to be in 1-2 days a week since August. I haven’t been in at all for the past couple of months due to severe morning sickness. In my last pregnancy I was signed off for 2 months because that job (different to now) didn’t have the option to wfh so I just couldn’t do it. Because it’s pregnancy related, it’s all been agreed with my manager (and a GP note signing me off to wfh) but no one else in the team knows yet as I haven’t had a scan. Once I have, I’ll explain it. And once I’m able to, I’ll go back into the office. With your colleague you’ve no idea if there’s some reason whether it’s actually been agreed she can wfh.

Does it have to be a race to the bottom?

Can you reframe it so that instead of feeling jealous of this man's WFH, you see it as an opportunity to request more WFH time for yourself, in the interests of "fair & equitable blah blah blah insert relevant bits from Employee Handbook here" etc?

Or is it that the business genuinely cannot have you & others WFH - yet this man benefits from 'special pleading'?

Have you any idea what it's like to be CEV.... Its terrifying. Get to grips with disability and equality laws. Or as someone else says why don't you discuss it with your manager.

We had a colleague kicking off because another colleague works from home fulltime, his wife has had a bone marrow transplant. Oddly enough the colleague wasn’t keen on the idea of her own partner being ill enough to allow her to work from home fulltime.

[quote Whereismumhiding3]@oober6

Yanbu to be fed up if you are picking up slack from your wfh colleague who isn't even CEV himself! But if he has agreement of managers then it's down to them.

"Shielding has been ended now. "

Absolutely. Shielding for CEV patients themselves was paused on 1st April 2021 (& shielding was paused twice in 2020) and CEV population were advised to follow same precautions as everyone else from 19th July 2021 onwards

I'm CEV group. A key worker. HCP. I attend work same as my colleagues. PPE is available. I can see how it is difficult to understand how a partner of a CEV person qualifies more than CEV people themselves, however we don't know status of his wife's health and it may be nothing to do with COVID restrictions and more to do with caring for a sick relative [/quote]
Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. That's completely different from the government advice that entire groups of people were recommended to shield during the worst stages of the pandemic.

@Crunchymum

What condition does your colleagues DW have *@oober6*?

that has nothing to do you OP or you or any of us.

@Crunchymum

What condition does your colleagues DW have *@oober6*?

That's confidential personal information protected by the data protection laws. The employee in question will have discussed the matter with the employer/HR dept. But if the employer divulges it to other employees, they are in breach of the data protection laws.

Envy is a nasty trait. But envy of the few "perks" some people get to compensate for misfortunes such as ill health/disability (be it their own, or someone they care for), is the nastiest of all.

Do you also begrudge other people's blue badges, motability car, or carer allowance? Flexible working arrangements such as work from home are just one among many reasonable adjustments that employers are bound to consider by law under the Equality Act. You throwing a hissy fit about it is neither here nor there.

Oh do mind your own business, it’s nothing to do with you.

YANBU, this would wind me up too.

We require a minimum of 4 team members (out of 10) on site every day, so we have a rota so we take it in terms. Apart from one woman whose child is ECV (but still attends school!!), who says in order to minimise any additional risk, she wants to WFH, so she's not on our rota.

She gets to drop her kids at school every day at 8:50 and be home by 9am to log on, thereby saving herself the cost of breakfast club that she used to have to pay when we were in the office, and she takes "lunch" at 3-4 so she can collect her kids and bring them home and give them a snack, then works 4-5pm (with her kids in the house). So she saves herself the cost of after school club too. I pay £60 a day in wraparound care for my kids because I'm in the office - if I was allowed to WFH I'd be £300 a week better off!!! So no wonder she wants to keep wfh, but it feels so so unfair.

If this colleague is not being as productive as their colleagues because they are WFH, then it's an issue and it is the posters business.

The problem with this is that even if we were to accept the controversial statement that the wfh would become OPs business in this scenario, she doesn't actually know that the wfh is what's making the colleague less productive. It's an assumption. She only knows that he is less productive and is also wfh. There are other potential explanations for this. As other posters have pointed out, there could be any number of reasons for this adjustment and the wife could be a cover story. That sort of thing happens all the time in workplaces.

So for that reason, the advice OP has had that the wfh isn't her business is correct. The part that's her business is her increased workload. It serves her interests much better to focus on that. It doesn't actually help OP to agree with her that she's in the right to make assumptions about things that really aren't actually her business.

Alternatively OP, if it's really important to you to be able to wfh, that's completely valid and for many people now is a good time to be job hunting. Quite likely it's going to be easier to start a new role with wfh established straight off than it is to try and do it in your current job. You have every right to see what's out there.

Yes - so unfair she has a child who is ECV.

FFS.

I’m older now and retired, so all of those frustrating (and in retrospect, often petty) work situations are behind me. I’m not trying to be preachy; I just know that I would have been much happier if I had always focused on my own role and responsibilities and let everything else slide right off my back.

@Hiddlestom

YANBU, this would wind me up too.

We require a minimum of 4 team members (out of 10) on site every day, so we have a rota so we take it in terms. Apart from one woman whose child is ECV (but still attends school!!), who says in order to minimise any additional risk, she wants to WFH, so she's not on our rota.

She gets to drop her kids at school every day at 8:50 and be home by 9am to log on, thereby saving herself the cost of breakfast club that she used to have to pay when we were in the office, and she takes "lunch" at 3-4 so she can collect her kids and bring them home and give them a snack, then works 4-5pm (with her kids in the house). So she saves herself the cost of after school club too. I pay £60 a day in wraparound care for my kids because I'm in the office - if I was allowed to WFH I'd be £300 a week better off!!! So no wonder she wants to keep wfh, but it feels so so unfair.

Her child deserves an education. This should be the highest priority for all children, even if a risk comes with it.

After that, it’s the right thing to do to minimise all other risks as much as possible. The fewer chances someone vulnerable has to encounter the virus, the less is their chance of contracting it.

Would you prefer to be allowed to work from home because your child has a high possibility of becoming seriously ill or dying? Or would you rather have a healthy child and do your work from another building instead?

@Hiddlestom

YANBU, this would wind me up too.

We require a minimum of 4 team members (out of 10) on site every day, so we have a rota so we take it in terms. Apart from one woman whose child is ECV (but still attends school!!), who says in order to minimise any additional risk, she wants to WFH, so she's not on our rota.

She gets to drop her kids at school every day at 8:50 and be home by 9am to log on, thereby saving herself the cost of breakfast club that she used to have to pay when we were in the office, and she takes "lunch" at 3-4 so she can collect her kids and bring them home and give them a snack, then works 4-5pm (with her kids in the house). So she saves herself the cost of after school club too. I pay £60 a day in wraparound care for my kids because I'm in the office - if I was allowed to WFH I'd be £300 a week better off!!! So no wonder she wants to keep wfh, but it feels so so unfair.

So you'd prefer to have your own child with ECV then would you?

Their child might go to school, but do you know if any special precautions are being taken by the school to protect the child?

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

Normal work in my department : Taking 999 calls, talking to distressed members of the public (often suicidal), talking to the public all day long over a 24/7 period. While being hassled to work faster by management, constantly pushed to take one more call before being allowed a break, having to ask permission to get up. WFH in my department : Copying abd pasting emails onto logs which you then pass to someone in the office to call back or action; work at a leisurely pace with no manager breathing down your neck; no interaction with distressed or angry members of the public as you have no phone; work whatever hours suit you.

I wonder why people get miffed 🤔

This is the kind of difference that exists between WFH and non-WFH in my office.

to you @DaphneDeloresMoorhead, you are amazing.

Please please please can people wait until the booster programme for high risk individuals has finished before posting stuff like this. It’s fake news that everyone is fully vaccinated and protected right now. Loads of us with health conditions have waning immunity and are facing high covid rates at a time when no one gives a shit about us or our circumstances. Just let us finish getting our booster vaccines before you start slagging us off.

Its between management and the employee, keep your nose out of their business!!

@LaurenKelsey

I’m older now and retired, so all of those frustrating (and in retrospect, often petty) work situations are behind me. I’m not trying to be preachy; I just know that I would have been much happier if I had always focused on my own role and responsibilities and let everything else slide right off my back.

Indeed, a much healthier outlook to concentrate on your own position/work and not dwell on others. If it bothers the OP so much, they're free to get a different job.

It's what I did when I was expected to cover for a pregnant colleague who my employer wouldn't replace/cover with a temp. I covered her maternity leave, but when she decided to come back part time only and the employer still wouldn't provide a replacement/temp for the hours she no longer worked, I got another job and handed in my notice.

Bit odd that you apparently know the ins and outs of his wife’s exact health status down to what vaccines she’s been offered, them taking their kids on days out etc

His personal family circumstances are none of your business. It also comes across as though you are jealous of him for having a vulnerable family member which I’m sure isn’t a hill you want to die on, unless of course you regularly get the hump when people worse off than you are given circumstantial privileges to make their lives easier.