To think colleague shouldn’t be on permanent WFH due to his DW’s Covid risk?

[oober6]

As in the title really.

The world has opened up, social distancing requirements have gone, vaccines have given us all plenty of protection.

We are key workers who have worked throughout, coming into work every day. I would love to be able to WFH! It would be a lot less pressurised, and of course, no commute etc.

AIBU to think management should now be telling our colleague that he has to start coming back into work? He is healthy and fit.

Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. @user1497207191

I absolutely agree. That said, in this situation:

• the DW isn't continuing to shield
• the children go to school
• my colleague and his DW go shopping
• my colleague and his DW go on day trips etc

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?!

Make a formal complaint @oober6 - it's the only way you'll get beyond your bitterness.

And once COVID is over you could make similar complaints about colleagues who come in late, or who take longer lunch breaks than they should, or who go out for cigarette breaks, or who make long personal phone calls, or who have 'collaborative meetings' with colleagues over coffee while they chat about their families, or who don't answer as many emails as you, or any of the myriad of other things we all experience in the actual physical office. You'll feel so much better for it.

Your way too invested in your colleagues life, what gives you the right to delve into his life like this, you don't need to know anything about him.

Take a step back!! You scratch the surface on his life and think you can pass judgment!

Your employer also doesn't have to disclose any information about what they have agreed with him either.

Complain and let your colleagues know who you are too!

@TheKeatingFive

If he and the whole slew of his family are well enough to be out and about, here, there and everywhere - then he can get his ass in to work like everybody else

I do agree with this.

It's one thing if people are genuinely shielding. Quite another if they're living life as normal apart from working.

Yep. I changed my mind completely when I read that the whole family are out and about, going on days out and shopping (as well as the kids being in school).

It seems like only work is the problem for the colleague. Which makes no sense.

I doubt that all the posters telling OP to mind her own business would be quite so sanguine in her position. The wife can't be as vulnerable as people make out, if she goes shopping and for days out, and isn't in the third vaccine cohort.

I do get that it must be difficult for management to say no to someone who declares that his wife is CEV. But they do need to have another conversation with him if he's being entirely open about taking all the risks of life (along with his wife), bar working in the office.

To be fair, in most cases it has been made clear children have to be in school regardless of CEV children or family memberz. Shielded families have been completely shafted.

During shielding we werent meant to go anywhere, shielding people were even meant to avoid household members.
Now numbers are as high as ever, no social distancing, one way systems are ignored. Most people not masked. School is compulsory.

The risk to CEV hasnt changed. The hospitals are extremely busy so if we need medical care its unknown if the care will be there. And often we get to read lovely comments that its only CEV that are dying so it doesnt matter.

CEV doesnt mean they are about to drop dead with or without covid. It doesnt mean they are old. My child is CEV and should under normal circumstances live a long and full life. But if covid kills the child they will be written off as oh it was only someone vulnerble.

You can not know the full extent of the situation or whythe managers have agreed. But either way if you have issues with this take it upwith management.

I don't think you're being in the least unreasonable to think your colleague may be getting some kind preferential treatment - at least, from your account of the situation, that's sort of what it sounds like he's getting.

I'd probably be asking questions of management as to why I shouldn't be able to WFH at least some of the time. In fact, I think a lot more people who'd like to WFH at least some of the time should be making a lot more noise about it to their employers. Covid has proved WFH doesn't affect productivity, but there's still plenty of employers who automatically assume people are going to be skiving off if they allow it.

A better work/life balance, without long and expensive commutes can be so much more beneficial for both employers and employees.

@oober6

Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. *@user1497207191*

I absolutely agree. That said, in this situation:

• the DW isn't continuing to shield
• the children go to school
• my colleague and his DW go shopping
• my colleague and his DW go on day trips etc

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?!

But you have no idea what the actual reason for the WFH adjustment is. You have been told it’s because his wife has a health condition but you don’t know that for certain. It might be what feels like a public reason he feels he can give rather than the truth.

He doesn’t have to tell you anything about why he’s WFH. He might feel he needs to give a reason though because of the way everyone is being about it.

A permanent WFH adjustment is not necessarily easy to secure. There is a reason and you shouldn’t assume that you are privy to it.

Why not mind your own beeswax OP?

If you're working additional hours or taking on extra duties as a result of colleague working from home then by all means discuss with your manager. If it doesn't, then don't.

I doubt that all the posters telling OP to mind her own business would be quite so sanguine in her position. The wife can't be as vulnerable as people make out, if she goes shopping and for days out, and isn't in the third vaccine cohort.

The point a lot of people have made is that OP has no way of knowing whether the account she's been given of the wfh rationale is truthful or a cover story. There are other potential explanations. Personally, in OPs position I'd act in my own interests by minding my own business and focusing only on what I know to be the facts, ie that my workload has increased.

It's not about being sanguine and accepting, it's about being clever. Getting bogged down in what the wife is and isn't doing is self-indulgent. Sure, have a rant to your mates or whatever but when it comes to actually improving the situation, a more grown up approach is needed.

@oober6

Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. *@user1497207191*

I absolutely agree. That said, in this situation:

• the DW isn't continuing to shield
• the children go to school
• my colleague and his DW go shopping
• my colleague and his DW go on day trips etc

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?!

What he does in his own time (while very fucking annoying) is nothing to do with you.

All you can do is speak to your manager about YOUR workload

YANBU the plebs need to get back to work! it's what our masters say is good for us, they must be right

So his wife should be put in danger because you're jealous?

There is plenty of evidence to show that those working from home tend to be more productive (compared to their productivity in the office).

Are you sure you are not confusing a higher overall workload for your team with your WFH colleague slacking?

Some people, given special treatment, milk it for all it's worth

^^ This. With bells on.

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?! hmm

And your/his manager agrees.

@oober6

Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. *@user1497207191*

I absolutely agree. That said, in this situation:

• the DW isn't continuing to shield
• the children go to school
• my colleague and his DW go shopping
• my colleague and his DW go on day trips etc

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?!

It's perfectly possible to go shopping and on day trips in a very low risk way for the ECV who are shielding as much as possible.

We do it with my OH who has incurable blood cancer and on chemotherpay. We simply avoid the busy times and avoid the busy places. Very low risk to go to a shopping centre on a quiet Monday morning which is what we do. We wouldn't dream of going midday on a weekend. Likewise, we're not going to Alton Towers for a day out, but will happily go for a walk through a national park.

I've taken a massive hit with my business to avoid long meetings/client visits, but instead have gone to short meetings with plastic screen indoors, or for very quick chats, will stand outside in the open air. So I've been able to make my office "covid safe" but that's come at a massive cost to my business. Is your workplace "covid safe", i.e. screens, social distancing, etc - if not, then it's entirely reasonable that someone with a shielding spouse wouldn't want to work in a risky environment. Your employer may well think it's better to have the other employee WFH rather than go through the expense/hassle of making a safe workplace for them.

@RubyTuesday70

Some people, given special treatment, milk it for all it's worth

^^ This. With bells on.

Yes, how selfish of them to put themselves in harm's way when they don't have to just because a colleague, without a vulnerable household member, is jealous.

@oober6

Yes, general shielding has been stopped, but doctors/consultants continue to give individual advice according to the severity of their patient's health condition, and many people have been told to continue to shield by their doctor/consultant. *@user1497207191*

I absolutely agree. That said, in this situation:

• the DW isn't continuing to shield
• the children go to school
• my colleague and his DW go shopping
• my colleague and his DW go on day trips etc

...yet my colleague doesn't think he should work in the office?!

OP you have no way of know what his individual circumstances are. For all you know he may have MH/Anxiety issues. It really is none of your business but if you feel that you are being unfairly treated then that's a separate issue that you need to bring up with your boss.

If his kids are going to school then he can come into work

YABU and frankly none of your business, if you have genuine needs of WFH then request it instead of making life harder for others, how bloody self-centred

We had one of those.
She was managed out

@Ducksareruiningmypatio

We had one of those. She was managed out

Great 👍 now they can find a good flexible employer

It’s a catch-22 : if it’s a ‘special adjustment’ the OP can’t request more WFH can she because it’s a special adjustment and thus not for everybody?

I’d make up an excuse OP and see if you get to WFH too