AIBU to wear dark glasses to a funeral in the UK?

[noctu]

Do people generally wear dark glasses/sunglasses to funerals in the UK? In what context? e.g. - is it not OK in the church but OK at the burial itself?
Or a no-no completely?
Customs seem to differ between the USA and the UK and I would appreciate any guidance.
Many thanks.

People would probably think you were on the run from the police.

I think it's scandalous to judge someone for wearing shaded glasses at a funeral. I'd assume the person wanted privacy.

I hate it when people are judgmental of people in grief! Save the cattiness for weddings and leave mourners alone!

There's a lot of judgement on this thread. I suffer from photophobia - light sensitivity. I wear sunglasses all year round outside although I can get away without them on very dull winter days.

Everyone saying they would consider people wearing sunglasses to a funeral to be attention seeking should maybe consider there could be another reason.

@noctu

Thanks everyone. It's a church service then burial. I will be very upset and would like to disguise it but it looks like it will be disrespectful.

It isn't at all disrespectful.

My glasses, which I wear all the time, are transitions lenses. So they darken automatically in sunlight. I have worn them to funerals including my own Dad's one. It would never occur to me that anyone might have an issue with this, and I don't think I would take much notice anyway.

I cannot see without my glasses and transitions lenses is what I have.

@Dita73

No. It’s wanky

That is bollocks.

A hat with a veil would be the very traditional way of covering your eyes a little.
But in this day and age I think outside you could wear sunglasses.

I hope it isn't too hard for you OP.

I think it’s very reasonable if you want to hide how tearful you are.

I wore mine for half a flight once as I’d been sobbing before departure. No one said anything though after I’d removed them my seatmate asked gently if I was ok.

I wouldn’t think it was wanky at all at a funeral where it’s pretty obvious why you might want to hide your eyes. Anyone who says anything to you is being a twat.

@Dita73

No. It’s wanky

There are many eye conditions which make people light-sensitive. Wearing sunglasses makes it much easier for them. But you judge away.

Does it really matter at the end of the day?
Just turning up to a Funeral is all that matters .

Only people like Simon Cowell would wear them.

@1forAll74

Only people like Simon Cowell would wear them.

Eh!!

What a ridiculous comment.

My glasses would darken wherever I am. I assure you I am not Simon Cowell or anyone remotely like him.

Sorry you are going through this OP. I’m inclined to agree that sunglasses in November will look odd and potentially expose you to more mean comments. My mind went to other ways to feel “defended”, a dark wrap rather than a jacket or a clutch bag that you can use to occupy your hands? I know your question was about hiding your tears but perhaps these thoughts might help?

Both me & my brother wore them at my grandma's funeral, in the car & as we walked in the crematorium, I just didn't want to make eye contact because I was heartbroken, I didn't want anyone to look at or speak to me until I had composed myself after the service.

Sorry for your loss op.

When a family member was widowed young, she wore a discreet veil and a hat (but this was a while back). Can look ok with smart coat at fairly formal funeral. But you have to be very well groomed to carry off a totally black ensemble I think and funerals tend to the more casual nowadays.

We sadly lost a very close friend over the summer and I had to go up and read a poem at the funeral and was advised to suck an extra strong mint if I thought I was going to cry. Apparently it has the desired effect on tear ducts or something; not sure but seemed to work.

Until I read all of the comments from the first page, I thought that sunglasses at a graveside was very apt 😕, because of the puffy eyes, I would assume.

@DerAlteMann

People would probably think you were on the run from the police.

Why? Do people on the run from the police tend to wear sunglasses and attend funerals?

@noctu one of my favourite family members recently died (not peacefully). I had to give a eulogy. It was an overcast day so I did not wear sunglasses. It’s absolutely normal and understandable to tear up. Sunglasses will draw more attention to you. I’ve only ever seen Mafia wives wear them in films.

Sorry for your loss, OP.

Some awful responses on here - the posters in question should be ashamed.

Wear whatever feels comfortable and no-one will judge you (or, I'm willing to bet, even notice) unless they are an arsehole.

*YABU. Don’t do it, it makes you look ridiculous and attention seeking.

It isn’t the done thing in the U.K.*

@VestaTilley

Oh! I didn't know that when I wore them to my DH's funeral. And all those mourners thinking I looked ridiculous and attention seeking! They were lovely to me despite that.

I wore them because it gave me a tiny bit of confidence and 'distance ' on a bloody shit and sad day. Also the funeral was outside and it was very sunny.

It is totally the done thing in the UK if you want it to be OP . Do it if it works for you. So sorry for your loss.

@Embroidery

Sunglasses in uk are a beachwear thing only. Or shopping on a sunny day in summer. A frivolous item of clothing and therefore disrespectful at a funeral.

Also a bit jackie kennedy. Dressing up as jackie kennedy at a funeral is also very attention seeking and therefore very inappropriate.

They aren't.

Me and thousands of others need to wear sunglasses daily due to light sensitivity or sensory issues.

#autistic

West you’d sunglasses OP. People at the funeral should be concentrating on the serve instead of looking at you and judging you

Sorry for your loss

Sunglasses will draw more attention to you. I’ve only ever seen Mafia wives wear them in films

Outside yes, inside no. I’ve worn sunglasses to several funerals because I can’t control myself from crying the entire time and I don’t want people to see. I get very red and puffy and you can tell I’ve been crying even the next day so I’d keep them on as I don’t want to draw attention to it. If people see my crying they come and be nice to me which sets me off even more.

(And no one seemed to think it was weird I was wearing them and I wasn’t the only one)

Also… I never even considered people would judge me or anyone for wearing sunglasses at a funeral.