That PIL have never met my parents?

[wineislife21]

DH and I have been together 12 years, married 4. We got married on our own and so our parents never met his in that way.

DHs parents care for BIL who has severe special needs and can be aggressive at times. My parents are split and my mum has remarried.

So to be honest we have kept them apart because it is just much easier that way. Neither have ever particularly complained about it, although my mum once mentioned it and so we felt a bit awkward at the time, but hasn't mentioned it since.

Is this unreasonable?

Mine only met on our wedding day.
DM and MIL would ask after each other but didnt meet up again. PILs have now passed away.

Mine got together occasionally but I don’t think it’s that unusual. My parents and my SILs mum were close

Mine only met on my wedding day which was a small wedding and they never met up again. We didn't have any children so there was no need. I've now been divorced for years.

It's not unreasonable because everyone family is different really.

DP's parents and mine don't live near each other but they get on well and enjoy meeting up (even without us there) when they're in the same area.

My parents and PILs have only met on our wedding day. It's not about keeping them apart though and I don't see whats awkward about it? It's just that, well why would they need to get together?

My mum and husbands parent very very rarely see each other.

Only if there is some kind of joint get together, it's happened on 4 occasions I can think of and I've been with dh for nearly 20 years.

No animosity or anything like that.

It's completely fine. Whatever works for your family.

My exes parents wanted my parents number and I refused to give it. They phone their other in-laws daily and I think it is suffocating

It's perfectly fine. My in laws never met my mother and have only met my father a couple of times.

I don’t think it’s that unusual. My dad and my husbands mum are dead but my mum has only met my FIL twice, at my sons first birthday party and our wedding. They don’t know each other so I wouldn’t expect them to socialise or anything

Nope. My parents in law dont speak english so kept them away from mine as it would be incredibly awkward.

My parents (who are both remarried) get on really well with my in-laws, we all socialise together and spend birthdays & Christmases together. One big family.

It’s fine. Why force it.

DH is NC with his so they’re never met mine.

My parents met my ex MIL at that wedding but mum never met her again and dad only saw her once after at FIL’s funeral. He was there for me not them.

My parents and in-laws only met at the wedding, no need otherwise.
I'm sure MIL thought they should all become friends but that was never going to happen, they are very different people to my parents.

I guess if we'd had christenings or something they would have come in contact again but it's never been a problem. DH dislikes his parents tbh and only sees them out of duty, it's quite sad.

Yeah same with other posters. Only met once and even that's too much. my PILS are nightmares and have preconceptions about everyone and everything...

I don’t think it’s bad if it’s just circumstances but it sounds like you actively keep them apart.

Have you got children? If so do they not come to birthday parties and such together?

Ours met once before our wedding (suit fittings) and on the wedding day, then never again in the 23 years following till my parents died. They had nothing in common and didn't live near each other or us

We have 1 DD who is nearly 2, I've never considered doing birthday parties for anyone but friends/family with children.
Do people invite the grandparents to parties as well? I'm not sure our house is big enough 😬

Mine drove 6 hours to meet each other. The only other time they met was at the wedding. I think that’s fairly average if you aren’t from the same area.

Yanbu. There’s no need to force any kind of relationship which doesn’t come naturally.

My dad and my MIL get on ok and have met many times at various family things but don’t keep in touch outside of that. Oh they send each other birthday and Christmas cards too.

My pil come to every birthday party/birthday tea. My parents usually don’t but my siblings do so we mix with each other at events like that. I would find it weird not to invite their grandparents to their birthday party because they see them so often, my mil does a lot of childcare for us luckily!

DH and I have been together for 10 years
Our parents met once before our wedding, on our wedding day and once more at DC1s christening
And made nothing more than polite small talk for 5 mins and then went off to speak to the people there they knew

They have very little in common, it’s not a relationship that would exist were it not for us being a couple so it doesn’t make any sense to force it

Ours met each other quite a bit, similar area and we’ve always enjoyed a big family Christmas with everyone. And Sunday lunches, birthdays, bbqs etc.

It seems strange to me, but not weird or unreasonable. DH and I met in our late 20s / mid 30s, both sets of parents helped us move house so they met then (I guess that was the first time as it was 6 months in) and my Dad and ILs have been out for meals with us for mine and DHs birthday. My sister also invites my ILs along to her family meals. We have consternation so there's overlap there too for kids birthdays etc and my Dad came to my Fils funeral.

Mine only met at our wedding, they were so different it would t have been fair on my in-laws. When I say different I used to look at them and wonder how they managed to produce dh!