Are your children behind in school after lockdowns?

[CricketCat]

Something bugging me since parents evening.

My son is in year 5 and was already trailing behind in English and Maths in year 3. Then lockdowns happened and he’s lost 2 years of solid study.

On parents evening the teacher told me he’s really behind now and that I need to sit and do homework with him. I told her that I thought year 5 work was independent (I never had help in yr 5) and she said but “he’s really behind, you need to sit and make sure his work is corrected before he submits it. Which felt like she didn’t want to correct his work.

Then when I asked her if she would recommend tutoring, she said yes, so I organised this.

Now I’m feeling really shit; because I couldn’t help him during lockdowns. I had 2 jobs both directly and indirectly involved with covid and things were crazy. Also my dad died during the time which added to stress and it was a horrible.

Is anyone else in this situation? And how much help should I be giving my son, without doing the work for him and making him sit there 1 hour at a time so he can think about his work.

I guess my AIBU is that somehow I’ve been made to feel this is all my fault for not helping him, but we did all school work everyday, with tears and it was a horrible time home schooling. We gave up for weeks and the teachers never contacted us to check how we were and now he’s behind. Is it my fault?

I really resonated with your comments about the lockdown flashbacks.

Can I ask if the problems he’s having are in specific subjects or if he’s having trouble with the executive function skills of sitting, getting himself organised, maintaining concentration, getting the work done.

If it’s individual subjects tutoring should close the gap. But if it’s the other you might need more support and help.

Please don’t get stuck in fault/blame/guilt. The last year and a half have been shit. We can’t undo them- we just have to keep moving forward as best we can.

@InTheLabyrinth

We submit homework as it is done by the child. If they ask we will talk through possible ways. If, glancing at it or from comments made it is apparent that dont get it, we try on a seperate piece of paper. But there is no point submitting perfect homework if it doesnt reflect the knowledge gained in class. Better to let the teacher know what proportion didnt undersrandctge lesson, and do what needs a recap.

So yes, I will help my child, but school gets to see the childs understanding of the topic not Mummy's understanding and Google ability.

I wouldn't see this as the function of homework at all. Homework mainly is for reinforcement, not assessment. As pp have said, children do not have 1:1 tuition in a classroom, so if I as a parent can give 10 minutes really focussed help here and there to make something they've not quite understood 'click', then surely that's better than just knowing that they can't do it and shrugging my shoulders. If it makes you feel better to write 'done with support' or something on the sheet to indicate that they found it hard, then so be it.

Please don’t blame schools either. The people responsible for the fallout from the pandemic are the MPs, particularly those who are in the Tory party, who are paid to run the country. It isn’t school’s responsibility to be ready to deal with a pandemic or the aftermath. The government are paid vast amounts of money to govern and have let down children, parents and teachers as they allow us to flounder, taking shots at one another. They continue to do so with their lack of guidance in how to deal with Covid infections in schools right now. I’m not blaming parents, I don’t blame my fellow teachers but I certainly blame the Tory government.

@BustopherPonsonbyJones

Please don’t blame schools either. The people responsible for the fallout from the pandemic are the MPs, particularly those who are in the Tory party, who are paid to run the country. It isn’t school’s responsibility to be ready to deal with a pandemic or the aftermath. The government are paid vast amounts of money to govern and have let down children, parents and teachers as they allow us to flounder, taking shots at one another. They continue to do so with their lack of guidance in how to deal with Covid infections in schools right now. I’m not blaming parents, I don’t blame my fellow teachers but I certainly blame the Tory government.

I agree with you. Their attitude towards supporting parents, teachers and schoolchildren was lamentable.

I'm a bit that you acknowledge you jacked in the Home Learning (for probably perfectly valid reasons at the time) but that you're blaming the school for not "checking" you were doing it????
That sounds like the sort of thing a teenager would come out with, sorry.

And I agree with others - blame is not helpful at this point. It is what it is - part of the whole shitty situation that the pandemic put us in. But you know that your child is behind so you will have to be on board and work together with the school to help bring them on.

I wonder if he has some kind of undiagnosed SEN if he was already behind before lockdown. My children are dyslexic and struggled with lockdown. They are incredibly slow to process information which made home school a nightmare. Please don't rely in teachers to pick up on learning difficulties, all to often in a large class if your child is well behaved they fall off their radar. Also some teachers have a very limited idea of what dyslexia is.

No, neither of my DC are behind in school. Home learning was a struggle, particularly as both DH and I work full time, but we made it work. I wouldn't say this was an ideal situation for anyone but they're both ahead right now, not behind.

This absolutely required sitting with them after school was finished for the day and correcting/reteaching the homework -- something I've always done anyway. Yes, they get on with it and get the assignments done on their own, but then we go over it together before they are handed in for review. Sometimes this DOES take hours, sometimes it's minutes.

At no point did we consider jacking in the online learning, though I know parents who did.

@gwenneh

No, neither of my DC are behind in school. Home learning was a struggle, particularly as both DH and I work full time, but we made it work. I wouldn't say this was an ideal situation for anyone but they're both ahead right now, not behind.

This absolutely required sitting with them after school was finished for the day and correcting/reteaching the homework -- something I've always done anyway. Yes, they get on with it and get the assignments done on their own, but then we go over it together before they are handed in for review. Sometimes this DOES take hours, sometimes it's minutes.

At no point did we consider jacking in the online learning, though I know parents who did.

Did your father die during this time perchance?

We were in a similar position and I did 2 things:

1. Got a tutor who suited dd. She's warm and pushes her without criticising her.
2. I got permission from her teacher to teach her the skills required in the homework but in a way that suited her. For instance when learning compass points we did a treasure hunt or we changed the topic of a story to one that interested her.

It's got her back on track and we it's something she enjoyed so she didn't fight me. Now she's back to doing independent homework set by the school. It was more about building her confidence than her ability. Hope it helps.

My sympathy - I get lockdown flashbacks too (sorry for your loss by the way). It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do during lockdown. Our DD did very little during the first lockdown except trampolining and worrying herself into a breakdown pretty much. We are both teachers by the way. Second lockdown she went in as KW child. Still did little work but her mental health improved. Diagnosed with ADHD and ASD in between. The fact you've got two other DC not struggling with school work is quite suggestive of possible SEN. Ask for a meeting with the teacher and the SENCO. CGP books and Timestable Rockstars are a good idea too and GiveMe's advice is good too - we do a lot of that. Good luck.

DD is in y4 now.

It is kind of your fault. DC1 is in year 6 and DH does homework with her everyday. He makes sure she completes the assigned English and Math homework, do spelling, and extra SATs. You have to have a very rare child to do homework by himself at this age. (I’m sure they exist)!

And neither of mine are behind. We made sure we did homework everyday. We also made sure they did extra CGP stuff and reading chest for the younger during lockdown because the homework given wasn’t great.

I don’t think guilt tripping anyone for trying their best with everything going on helps anyone.

Everyone was dealing with so much that things slip sometimes

Ignore all the messages telling you it's your fault. It's not. Lockdown was only meant to last a few weeks and we were told not to worry about school work as school would help them catch up. If you have a child who hates being taught by a parent home schooling is awful and miserable children don't learn.

They will all be at the expected level as all children missed school. Over time it will be negligible

I cannot for the life of me understand how people are not realising that this lady's father died during lockdown and she has 2 jobs. Are people just glossing over that fact?

How many of you have managed to keep your child afloat academically in a lockdown while working 2 jobs and also grieving the death of your father and the child grieving the death of his/her Grandad?

SO much sanctimony and self righteousness on this thread.

I was really lucky to be able to help my DC at home, and I can honestly say the best way of helping maths is to get them to learn their times tables, a really solid recall and not just counting up in 5s or whatever. Cool Maths Games and MyMaths are helpful if you’re like me and don’t know times tables yourself!

You did your best and now you know there's a problem you are doing your best again to solve it, I don't see how anyone can knock you for that.

I was WFH during lockdown as well, we managed to complete all the work set (well in core subjects maths, English etc anyway and as much of the other stuff as we could). When DD went back the teacher said you wouldn't even know she'd been away from school. Fast forward to now and her new teacher says she's slipped to the lower end of expected for maths which I'm really surprised by, as she loves it and seems quite good at it to me.. I thought it was one of her better subjects if I'm honest!
I suppose my point most of us are not teachers, we did our best and now we can only work as much as we can to help them catch up can't we. Don't beat yourself up about it

My daughter is in year 5, not behind at all. I worked throughout the lockdown full time, she spent the time at my mom & dads who were working from home so didn't do every peice of work as she should of, I certainly wasn't one of these that created home timetables etc. But I cannot imagine getting her to complete any homework without help. Its enough of a struggle getting her to do it with help 🤣

OP, the lockdown and lack of structured schooling impacted every child differently and excelled/delayed their progression in a very bespoke way.

I have 3 dc, in y1/5/9 currently. Y1 and y5, did short bits of work as and when we could, both are currently ahead of expected, they are both naturally academic kids who enjoy school and learning and find it straightforward. They did significantly less at home compared to peers.

Y9, was in structured online lessons daily but struggled with the lack of classroom and definition between home and school, always found schooling a challenge and needs that teacher input face to face, is just holding on to the expected level.

Focus on what you can do going forward now to support - your dc sounds like my eldest, still needs support with homework now. We have a tutor for English and this is the lifesaver for confidence and reinforcing key content. Spending time quietly working through stuff. Things like audio books from library (use their app), or audible are great for independence but someone reading, apps and websites for maths. Finds the happy medium between in person support and independence

@maddy68

They will all be at the expected level as all children missed school. Over time it will be negligible

Children were in a huge range of different circumstances when they were not at school. Like the summer holidays when some children jump ahead with reading but many don't progress or drop back a bit, lockdowns will not have affected all children the same.

We keep seeing this line trotted out about children being "behind."
Behind what?
An inappropriate arbitrary standard that the DfE constructed pre-Covid.
I don't think it will harm anyone if we all just take a step back and relax a bit.

Sorry, should have added, I am teaching in Year 4 things that I used to teach in Year 6. It's way too much, way too soon for many.

I agree with you CallmeHendricks. It’s the same in Secondary too.

When Gove introduced the new 9-1 GCSEs, he gave Ofqual and the exam boards literally just a few months to come up with each new syllabus to make them ‘harder’. What did most of them do? Take a lot of what was in the AS levels and put them in the GCSE syllabus for those subjects. It’s pretty much all they had time for.
Same with Key Stage 3 taken from old GCSE specifications.

When people judge/guess where young people are, academically post lockdown, this is often forgotten.