To think it’s so hard to be healthy working full time?

[Strawbales]

Probably I’ll be flamed here but what the hell.

So when I was at home FT I could go to the gym and use the crèche for childcare for an hour or so. I went on massive long walks with the children, easily doing 20,000 steps some days.

Now … well. I am tired, all the time, I don’t get to go to the gym, I don’t get to go on long walks and because I’m so tired I’m eating rubbish

Please help me before I gain shedloads of weight.

I also teach full time. I have my own DC aged 9 and 11. My life is a constant roundabout of work, driving DC to activities, cooking, getting DC to bed, doing school work. I'm up late finishing school work each night and really do not have the time to exercise. I've started to rely more in convenience foods as the DC's activities get later into the evening. I miss when I worked part-time and made it to a weekly yoga class!

One thing I've found manageable is to get some dumbbells and do a short strength training session at home a couple of times a week. There are several on YouTube. Also I try to take soup for lunch - there are some relatively healthy fresh ones available or I occasionally manage to make a batch at home. At least I eat something vegetable-based then.

Still don't know what the OP's partner does all evening.

Except its pretty miserable walking along streets in the dark in the evening.

[quote Strawbales]@audweb because I’m conscious I don’t see much of my children as it is. Plus it involves leaving them with Dh at the time of the day when they are most fractious and difficult to manage so that feels a bit rotten![/quote]
He’s their parent yes? Ask yourself why you feel you should deal with their hard behaviour and you shouldn’t? You don’t have to do it every night, it could be after they are in bed, or twice during the week and a short morning at the weekend.

I get the exhaustion, it’s hard to motivate yourself when you feel so tired, but I’ve found that squeezing in exercise actually improves my own stamina and energy as a parent. I’m still quite fat! But I can swim a decent speed for a decent time and it honestly is worth the squeezing it into my life.

@julieca

Except its pretty miserable walking along streets in the dark in the evening.

I do this a lot. End of the day. Headtorch, audio book or podcast. I love it. Each to their own though.

I’m struggling to understand your timings. Why cant you run straight after work and then pick up from nursery? Or drive to nursery and run from there before picking the kids up. It only has to be half an hour, so you’d still be picking them up before 5. Do that 3 days a week and your exercise is looking very different.

Run. You just need to open the front door and go. 3k will only take about 20 mins. Surely dp can be with the kids whilst you do that?

What about the weekends? Parkrun is 9am on Saturday. You could do that & meet them after for breakfast in a cafe.

How old are your children? When mine were younger, I would sometimes run with them alongside me on their bikes or scooters. I also sometimes combined a quick run with a trip to the shop. Run there via a slightly roundabout route then walk home with whatever I'd bought.

Or whatabout swimming at the weekend? Let dp watch the kids in the shallow end whilst you swim a few lengths.

Joe Wicks youtube workouts are good too. Some are only 15 mins long but quite energetic.

Walk more, especially at the weekends.

@CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal

I’m struggling to understand your timings. Why cant you run straight after work and then pick up from nursery? Or drive to nursery and run from there before picking the kids up. It only has to be half an hour, so you’d still be picking them up before 5. Do that 3 days a week and your exercise is looking very different.

I don’t run!

OP I find the same. Those who exercise with kids I find either -

1. Dont work full time
2. Work full time but compressed e,.g. 12 hour shifts
3. Manage it only one night during the week
4. Have an au pair, cleaner, etc
5. Exercise at home for say 20 minutes a day using home equipment
6. Go for a run from their front door. I am like you, I hate running.

There is no time to drive and go for a swim, gym, or play a sport more than one night in the week, unless I accepted never seeing my kids until the weekend.

i hate running too

I do weights with a barbell & tv app, they have 30 min routines

If I were you I would try and agree on one evening mid week during which you have a couple of hours to yourself and half a day during the weekend.
My husband and I survive by taking turns.

Peloton has a free trial til end of year. Plenty of 10min barre/strength/hiit classes that you can squeeze in. I saw how much screentime i have and realised if I can spend 10mins on insta at night then I can do a 10min barre or core class instead.

Where there's a will, there's a way. It sounds like you just don't want to prioritise it right now, which is totally fair enough, but you need to recognise that. I was the same, made excuses for years. Then got covid and was extremely unwell, took 6 months to fully recover. Decided that was not going to happen again so I needed to make huge changes to my life. I have lost 4 stone and increased my fitness massively, to the point I don't need daily inhalers anymore for my asthma. I know I am being a much better role model to my children and probably have increased my life expectancy and quality of life, so no I don't feel guilty for taking sometime to myself to exercise.

Maybe the time isn't right for you yet as your DC are very small, but at some point you really should do it, it will benefit your DC too.

DH and I are a team, we don't both need to be with the DC at every opportunity, it is ok for us to take turns to go and do something ourselves. I do a mixture of spin and running 5 times a week. Running is straight from my front door so only takes up 30 mins in the early morning. Spin is in my house (Peloton bike) and I mostly do 60 minute classes 4 times a week, in the evening. Sometimes 2 hours on days off.

I work in a very tiring job but I have so much more energy since starting this.

There are ways if you really want it. For example, you could just focus on diet if you really don't want to exercise. Or you could park a mile away from school and power walk to and from school to get you started.

@PrivateHall so you exercise for 1.5 hours a day. Do you work full time?

@PrivateHall I’ve lost 5 stone this year. I do get that. But right now, one and a half hours of exercise a day would be crazy.

well done @Strawbales how did you do it? i'm still carrying lockdown stones

I did a VLCD, it’s not for everyone but worked for me.

well done

Yeah it has to fit into your existing errands etc - so running / walking to or from what you'd already be doing is your best bet. I only 'exercise' if it's really easy and a habit. I'm no good at home exercise. But running or walking with a friend , to work or on the way to the shops, that's doable.

Well it sounds like exercise and a healthy lifestyle just isn’t a priority for you right now. Fair enough. You had a moan about it being unachievable but then have shot down every suggestion made.

@julieca

OP I find the same. Those who exercise with kids I find either -

1. Dont work full time
2. Work full time but compressed e,.g. 12 hour shifts
3. Manage it only one night during the week
4. Have an au pair, cleaner, etc
5. Exercise at home for say 20 minutes a day using home equipment
6. Go for a run from their front door. I am like you, I hate running.

There is no time to drive and go for a swim, gym, or play a sport more than one night in the week, unless I accepted never seeing my kids until the weekend.

I do 6 - run from my door. I work full time (5 days a week), have kids, single, no cleaner and exercise most days.

My time is easier to manage now DS2 is 12 but i still don't have huge amounts of time.

When I started swimming I noted that by the time I'd got my kit, driven to pool, got dressed etc I could have run 4 miles. nb I have my 1k swim down to 1hr door to door now so that makes it easier to reconcile.

I love running and do it in all weathers and any time of day. I am fortunate that my exercise love is compatible with busy life.

@CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal but that’s not what I’m trying to do at all. When people come on and make comments like that, it is all the more difficult because I feel I can’t just be honest and explain what life is like. I’m struggling, that’s the truth. Physically and emotionally and financially. And people may mean well but if I say ‘that isn’t really going to work’ it isn’t trying to denigrate the good suggestions by people (it may work for someone) but not me, right now. That’s all.

If nothing else, I need to be honest!

I really sympathise. I find it very difficult. I’m carrying some ‘baby weight’. But if I’m honest it isn’t baby weight at all. It’s ‘working with kids’ weight. Because when I was on maternity leave I got down to below my pre-pregnancy weight with zero problems, walking miles every day with the sling or buggy, shopping for and preparing healthy food, etc. Then my weight shot up when I started back at work.

No real suggestions but solidarity.

I have a garage and a bike and decided to buy a turbo for the bike. I sit in my garage with the baby monitor, with my tablet, and watch Netflix while cycling in the evening. It's hard to motivate myself to do it when tired but I am trying and its the only thing stopping me getting huge.