To think it’s so hard to be healthy working full time?

[Strawbales]

Probably I’ll be flamed here but what the hell.

So when I was at home FT I could go to the gym and use the crèche for childcare for an hour or so. I went on massive long walks with the children, easily doing 20,000 steps some days.

Now … well. I am tired, all the time, I don’t get to go to the gym, I don’t get to go on long walks and because I’m so tired I’m eating rubbish

Please help me before I gain shedloads of weight.

Haha @Strawbales it's actually not a terrible set up (emergency services) as he's around for the children in the mornings but it is knackering and it does feel like there's no spare time! I am trying to cut down on the work I do in the evenings though, we've got to draw a line in teaching some times!

Oh god yeah … easier said than done though isn’t it? I feel like my workload is that mythical monster where as soon as I chop one head off, two more appear!

YANBU. I work part from home and partly in the office and I like it this way. My boss now wants me back in the office 5 days a weeek. I feel depressed just having heard this. I am going to say no, but I am not looking forward to the con frontation and have no idea what the fallout might be. So far it has affected half my saturday, because I cannot get it out of my head. Eventhough I like my job, the way it dominates my life makes me sad and removes much of the joy from it.

It is definitely harder to stay healthy if you work FT. I am a single mum so organised exercise is next to impossible for me other than swimming and running with my DD which is good and important for her but not optimal for me as I'm not pushing myself. WFH probably doesn't help either.

@MiniTheMinx is correct that its very striking that men seem to find time to prioritise exercise no matter what, while for mums it's often quite a long way down a long list of priorities.

The only upside to being constantly busy is that you cultivate a kind of nervous energy which is probably not great mentally but it does go some way towards keeping the weight off.

YANBU at all. It’s not just about exercise, it’s also getting long enough breaks at lunchtime that you can get some proper food and not just stuff yourself with crisps and crap for ten minutes. In theory my employer is supportive, but in practice it’s very difficult when you’re the only one saying you don’t want to “press on through” and stretch a conference call beyond two hours, or that you aren’t available before 9 or after 6 because that’s your exercise time. There’s still far too much of a macho culture in this country where sacrificing your health and well-being for work is admired, and insisting on the boundaries that keep you well is seen as wimpish or selfish. It really annoys me.

There’s still far too much of a macho culture in this country where sacrificing your health and well-being for work is admired, and insisting on the boundaries that keep you well is seen as wimpish or selfish. It really annoys me.

This. It's also basically predicated on there being a system at home which allows you to do this (with the unspoken assumption that there is a woman at home doing this). Its much easier for a married bloke whose wife doesn't work to do a 14 hour day. A single mum with school age kids simply can't do this.

One of the few positive things to have come out of COVID is that the entire world of work has been forced to take these things more into consideration. It really annoys me that this macho "presenteeism" has started to creep back into corporate culture where people are being "encouraged" to come in to an office as much as possible just because.

Yes there's definitely a place for physical contact for all sorts of reasons but I really hope we don't end up throwing the baby out with the bathwater and going back to a system which basically enables those with no caring responsibilities to do better than those who do.

Must admit I hate the way DHs wfh has meant I feel like I’m living in an office when he’s working.

I am also a bit jealous!

It's much easier for me to have a healthy lunch WFH.

It depends doesn’t it? Because not all WFH jobs are the same any more than all work outside of the home jobs are. I’m just finding it all a bit full on and exhausting.

I was the healthiest I had been for years during the first lockdown. Loads of time for long walks. It is hard.

I'm totally the opposite. I looked my best when I was working. I was on the go all the time so maybe that made a difference? So even if I didn't feel up to going out in the evening, I'd been moving a lot during the day. Now I'm at home, I'm just an unfit, fat blob never that far away from the biscuit tin with no watching eyes to force me to control myself. On the other hand, I'm not working FT which is luvverlllyyy. 😊 So, swings and roundabouts.

Hope you find a good path forwards.

It's all about getting into a routine. I teach too and I have to keep going because the one week I stopped it was soooooo difficult to get back in the routine. I tend to go after dinner, which also helps portion control because I can't be full before excersise. I also prefer to stay at work till 6:30 and rarely bring home work midweek, only at weekends. Of course, this only works because DH picks up the slack with housework etc.

I go 3x a week. 1hr+ on a Saturday and 2 shorter sessions mid week. 3x a week is enough to lose weight slowly. Even if I'm absolutely knackered, I force myself to go for a 20min cycle/cross trainer just to keep the routine.

But yea...its not easy. I'm only doing it because I put on 3 stone thanks to covid. Teaching on screen instead of pacing the classroom and snacking during the day ruined me!

Urgh its hard. Friend does it by being super organised. She either gets up early and does exercise or takes kids out after dinner for a walk etc. She meal plans for an month and carrys snacks in her car for munch moments even stuff like baked crisps, diet coke, cereal bars so technically crap but not too damaging. She also tends to batch cook the meals for week at weekend so she just has to reheat during the week. I'm in awe as no way could i maintain level of organisation

@Bellfor good for you. But honestly, that isn't manageable for most people. Get home about 7 pm/7.15 pm. Straight into making tea and going tidying up. Have tea at about 8 pm for everyone. By 8.30 pm finished and stacked dishwasher. This is with no housework done at all, when I would usually do some in the evening. So go out to a gym for say 9 pm? Back home 10 pm and straight to bed. That leaves no time to do any housework or see my kids. Its just not possible. I have so little time in the evenings as it is.

Working full time out of the house IS exhausting particularly when you have kids at home!

Can you go for a walk on your lunch break or are you still needed at school then?

I agree with the posters who say it is all about the food. Problem is when you are tired and worn out, the food you choose is convenient and normally unhealthy!

I found the key was to have healthy, quick food in the house (and no crap).

I've been doing it (working full time out the house) for 28 years now I worked out today and I'm still tired :). Give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself. I also agree routine really helps. I eventually bought a treadmill and now I can do 20 mins in the evening while waiting for something in the oven (though I prefer exercising in the morning). Something like an exercise bike is easy too!

I was a single mum when my kids were under 18 and only did 'proper' housework on the weekends. If you keep on top of the dishes and wipe down the kitchen every evening and do a cursory tidy, you really can get away with not doing much more until you have a bit more time.

Agree with divide up time. Its really hard to it all... Try couch to 5k. I was hopeless at running ..did this..(just about ) and can now easily run 3k (handy circular route) and it takes just over 20 mins. Try to do this most days. Its not amazing but its better than nothing and I feel like I have exercised am hot and bothered..and its just 20 mins. Anything involving home workouts /equipment just isn't going to happen with kids interrupting etc. Try to get to gym/class at the weekend ?

It is hard but it’s not impossible. And if you find the time for exercise you will feel better for it. Even just Half an hour twice during the week and then an hour at the weekend? is that possible?

@Toottootdrive

The only way I can do it (2 kids and an academic so long hours) is to get up at 5am. I have some kit at home and there are some super early gym classes by me.

It’s not for everyone and did take a lot of getting used to for me but I need exercise for my mental health and this is literally the only way I can do it! I am in bed by 9 Sun-Thu to accommodate it, which is. Sacrifice many people don’t want to make. I find it worth it though.

I think this is the only way.

On my office days I have to leave at 7am latest and I don’t get home until after 7pm. I try and go to bed at 9 so if I don’t exercise early it doesn’t get done. I have Les Mills on Demand and most of the kit and that has been amazing as I can do everything from home. I do an hour 6 days a week.

The only downside is that aside from a load of washing, no housework gets done on those days but at the minute I can catch up on my two wfh days.

Our lunch break is only 30 minutes - pain.

I have to leave the house at 730 and I’m up at 630 and I just can’t face any earlier especially since still up in the night with kids. Then get to work for 8. Teach 830-11, break twenty minutes, then teach 1120-1220, then lunch, then teach 1-3.

I never get out before 4 and then the evening is battling children!

I also take prep lunch the night before to take to work so I don’t buy rubbish!!

It is really hard. The only hope you have is to be really set with your routines (I found I had to go to the gym straight from work or I would not get around to exercise that day) and I do a load of batch cooking at the weekend. Oh, and make sure anyone else in the house who is old enough is helping where they can, and to be clear about what you will and wont do at work.

Problem is I can’t go straight after work as the nursery wouldn’t be open that late and I don’t think it’s great for them to be there so late anyway, so I do have to do that.

The only options seem to be super early, which I can’t face, or super late. Which I can’t face either!

You don’t want to do early or late but that’s kind of the only option for most people. If you finish at 4 you still have about 6 hours before you go to bed. Rope the kids into a run or workout if it’s not possible to leave them?

Teaching is what I call ‘full time plus’.

You’re also doing all the weekday pick ups: that’s a big problem IMO. Weekday parenting (morning and evening) is much better shared (split - one parent being in sole charge at a time!) if both parents are working full time and both want to feel and be physically and mentally well.

It’s very unfair when the mother does vastly more of the weekday parenting and domestic work.

Ditch the idea that it’s ‘unfair’ to leave your DP in sole charge! Your personal health and wellbeing is important.

I work full time in a 9-5 office role and, for mental health reasons, have prioritised exercise for five years or so. I struggle more with eating, but try hard!