AIBU that 13 is too young to stay at home alone overnight?

[iwanttobeonleave]

A thirteen year old girl overnight alone? Am I being too soft or is this normal?

Is it your child?

No.

13 would be asking for trouble. 16 maybe.

I have a sensible 13 year old, there is no way I would leave them alone overnight.

Why?
And no not normal. Although I've known it at 14 and tbh also when I was 14 I babysat kids til early hours.
I used to go to bed there & parents prob came home 1-2am.

Absolutely not.

I have never left mine alone overnight and the eldest is 17. The closet we got was when she was 16 and we got in at 2.30 am and she was super upset and scared. Although I have friends who leave their eldest at 14 all night to babysit 12 year old. They don’t see it as an issue.

Far too young to be left alone overnight.

No no no.
And no again.

No. Doesn't matter how sensible or mature, I think it's too young to be left all night.

Nope. And I’m pretty relaxed, especially by mumsnet standards. In fact, ds is 15 and I still wouldn’t leave him overnight (he’d be fine, but I still wouldn’t; I do leave him for the evening).

Nope I wouldn't leave a 13 year old overnight but weirdly I was babysitting another girl at aged 15 nearly 16 on my own but this was obvs many years ago as i'm in my mid forties. Looking back on my childhood though I would have been happy to have been left on my own as I wasn't much fussed on my family and avoided the lot of them stuck in my room . The world has changed now though

My dd is 16, very mature for her age and pretty chilled. She would be 100% fine if I left her overnight, but I still wouldn't feel very comfortable about it... a bit odd given that she has gone off on overnight trips with her friends, but it would feel so mean leaving her on her own. I maybe wouldn't mind if she had a sensible friend with her.

But I wouldn't have contemplated leaving her overnight at all before 16.

No it's too young. I wouldn't leave my 13 year old son alone overnight.

For most of Yr 10 and 11, when I was 14/15/16 in the mid 90's, I was left home with just my DSis, who was 2 years younger. It was 'unavoidable' as our DM was in a secure Psychiatric Unit and our DF worked away during the week. He'd leave us money for food shopping, which we mostly spent on chips and chocolate (and cigarettes Not Envy). We'd have friends over at all hours, drank alcohol, tried cannabis, had dodgy 'friends of friends' turn up and expect to "join the party", boyfriends to sleep over etc. It led to us being much more adult than we should have been at those ages - I had to manage my 13 year olds emotions during a pregnancy scare (thankfully she wasn't). We were incredibly lucky to make it through those years relatively unscathed.

I now have a 14 year old DD (and a DD who is 12) and there is no way on earth I would leave her overnight. She's far more sensible than I ever was at her age, but I recall the terror of watching the house fill up with randoms, having no control over who was in your home and the pressure of trying to ensure your DSis felt safe - even when I didn't.

DH and I very occasionally go out for dinner in the evening and leave the girls at home together, but we always have a set time we will be home by and can always be home within 10 minutes if they call.

I suspect that my experiences as a child have made me a little stricter about this stuff than I would otherwise have been, but their my children - I just want them to be happy and safe, it's simply not worth taking the risk.

Obviously too young. At that age I would leave DD alone during the day in school holidays, but certainly not overnight.

I remember when I was that age my parents once had to go away overnight to a family funeral. I was allowed to have the evening at home with a slightly older friend invited round. But I went to nearby relatives for the night, I wasn't left alone overnight

No too young. X

Too young, IMO.
I was left alone with 2 similar age siblings (so we were all13-16) and none of us really liked it. Can't imagine having been alone!

13 is too young to be left overnight. But at the other end of the scale, a 16 year old not being able to be left overnight is worrying.

Personally, I'd expect them to be able to be left for half an hour here or there at high end primary, for an hour or two by secondary entrance age (including getting themselves to and from school), an evening (but not overnight) by about 13, and wanting to be left overnight (but not allowed by sensible parents) by about 15. Actually being left overnight - 16, they should be good and ready by then.

The consensus is that 13 is too young. So who is suggesting otherwise OP?

No way. I remember my parents leaving me overnight alone at 16 but a. I was very sensible and b. I was allowed one friend round

Why is it worse to be left alone at night than during the day? You’re asleep during the night anyway. You’re more likely to get lonely if you’re on your own during the day. Is it burglars/murderers you’re worried about?

I wouldn’t leave my 13 year old alone overnight though. Idk why

I was middle aged at 12. I think as an absolutely unavoidable one off (emergency situation) I spent one night alone at 15 and then a friends parents picked me up at crack of dawn the next morning.
13 is too young.

No, of course not.

I’d intervene or find a way to. That’s really, really not OK.

@Skysblue

Google it, all the advice is age 16 for overnight.

Not every child is the same.