Help me turn around my terrible eating toddler

[DeepaBeesKit]

DD is 2. Prem baby, never had a big appetite and is underweight. NHS are largely useless in offering any help/understanding how stressful it is when you have a child won't eat and is not putting on enough weight.

Used to eat a better variety of food but rapidly become awful- refusing to eat much of anything except breadsticks/crackers, chips, cereal etc....rejecting most meat, vegetables, fruit.

Attempts to simply not make available the preferred snackier foods means she just eats basically nothing and is not gaining weight.

Any advice please? No other developmental concerns at all, no sensory issues etc. Loads of speech, good motor skills etc.

I haven’t read all of the messages but the organisation Solid Starts is the way to go. It doesn’t matter if you weaned with solids or not.

My 16 month old daughter had dropped over two percentiles, seen by NHS dietician. They suggested having a look at it and it has genuinely revolutionised my daughters eating and she’s gaining wait again and eating things I never expected, for example today she ate a massive handful of rocket without prompting having never tried it before.

A few months ago all of her food went onto the floor bar selected fruit, yoghurt and veggie sticks.

I didn’t buy their package, I just watched all of their Instagram videos and stuck to it. Start of by looking at their ‘picky eating’ story reel.

If you do buy the package you get professional help from qualified professionals on demand, it’s about £70.

I hear you OP. My nearly 2 year old DD isn’t eating much recently. I’ve tried lots of toddler friendly recipes - fritters, egg muffins, mini quiches, baked beans - and they’re often rejected without taking a bite. I know you’re supposed to offer them the new foods multiple times but that hasn’t worked for me so far. We also sit down to eat together but it doesn’t make her eat more - she just won’t eat when she doesn’t want to. It’s also soul destroying to watch her stop eating as much of the things she used to love - yoghurt, cheese, toast. I just keep providing the best things I can, without running myself ragged, and hope her appetite will improve again soon.

I think you’re doing fine. My child - born on her due date - was below the bottom of the chart for a long time. When she reached the 2nd percentile, that was a big plus. Someone has to be on the 2nd percentile. Mine saw an NHS dietician, but there was nothing they could really suggest. We had fortified drinks for a while. Refused milk products very early on. Now an adult, my DD is a standard weight for her height - she’s not very tall at 5’2”.

Ps she will drink milk but not loads - 3oz morning and 3oz at bedtime.

Yes we eat together, same food, as much as possible. She has lunch at childcare and eats no better there.

Her older brother has a good appetite & isnt really picky, and DH and I enjoy a wide range of food so she sees us eating and enjoying everything.

I'm less concerned about the range she eats and more the volume. If she was eating a very limited range but at least gaining enough weight/growing I honestly wouldnt mind.

@DeepaBeesKit

I should clarify

I think she likes a reasonable range of foods (for a 2 year old).

Eg - home made chicken curry with spinach, lamb tagine, roast dinners (any meat, mushrooms, various veg, prawns, sausages etc.

But most of the time when her appetite is poor she just won't eat enough of anything to actually gain a decent amount of weight.

She has dropped from 9th% weight over the last year, but in that time has gone up height percentiles, so really is falling in weight terms.

So maybe little and often will work better. Don't think of it as 3 meals as the holy grail, maybe 6 small portions across the day. And what we consider in the UK as typical types of food for each meal is irrelevant, so food is food.

My little boy was similar at one point he was only eating about five foods. We never stressed or pushed just kept making different meals offering choices and throwing them out. It took ten months but hes slowly eating more and will try almost anything.

What would happen if you didn't give her milk in the morning?

Swap out the crap cereal for something better, like toast and peanut butter/eggy bread/dippy egg/porridge. Get more calories in her "per bite" iyswim?

What would happen if you have her just fish and peas for dinner? Ie no chips? And give her some chips/bread/rice/pasta if she's still hungry after?

Can you swap things like the apples and satsumas for less "wasteful" fruit like berries or grapes? So, for example, the bunch of grapes will remain edible regardless of how many she does or doesn't eat... and it might not be as frustrating when she only has 1 raspberry, instead if one segment of satsuma.

So that way, if she's starting the day with carbohydrates and dairy/protein, and ending with veggies and protein and maybe having a bit if sandwich and a bit of fruit for snack, then she's getting the balanced diet.

I think this can be turned around op, don't despair.

Make food and bowls, plates, presentation as beautiful as possible, so for example blueberries and raspberries look lovely together in little bowls, with maybe another bowl of yoghurt and drizzle the honey...
Present all snacky things in an. Elaborate /cheffy way - trays, tiny eggcup of things.. Sprinkles of chia seeds..slices of pizza...
You get me.

Invite some older children around regularly and put on this kind of spread. (cousins tend to work really well if any available).
Leave them at it and don't interfere, don't praise.

I think your dd will join in.

The other thing I want to +1 is peanut butter. I have been actively trying to get one of my dc's weight up and generous amounts of peanut butter is now a daily occurrence in our house. Dc has noticeably put on weight. Still thin but less scrawny.

Keep posting if it helps. I totally get that you're looking for practical ways to get more food in, fast. I understand that need.

Can you make your own of the things she does eat? My girl is going through a stage where all she wants is bread, so I've started baking a very healthy version full of seeds and different organic flours and wheats to ensure she gets a good range of nutrients out of it. You could make your own crackers definately. Also will your LO eat fruit? As much nutrients as possible from whatever source I would aim for

@DeepaBeesKit

The problem I have with the "its up to you to simply offer the food, its up to them to eat it", is having done it, it's an approach designed to change the parent's view of things, it doesnt result in an increase to the amount or range of food eaten by the child.

I'm looking for any tips to improve appetite and range of foods eaten, in a shorter time frame than waiting several years

No it's not for the parent. Her refusal to eat is about control. Being prem, did she suffer from reflux? Sounds like it could be a feeding aversion. Stop watching what she eats, always have food available so she can have it when she wants. Fill a kitchen cupboard full of stuff for her that she can access when she wants, she'll get there I promise but you really need to step back and leave her to it. I speak from experience, I had 2 that were 0.4 percentile till about 3/4 ish. I know how awful it is, there are some good groups on Facebook with ideas and support xx

The cereal was on offer today because she asked for it (rejecting the porridge me & DS had and the scrambled egg on toast DH was having).

We dont eat chips often (I hate them). At most meals if there isn't a snacky type thing available she just doesnt really eat. Eg she might just eat 1 carrot baton, a bite of meat, and some mushrooms.

Agreed re the berries, this is usually my answer to the waste. I struggle at the moment feeling I can't say no if she asks for something as she eats so little willingly, but it's frustrating when she asks then won't eat it.

Could you put next to her a muffin tin with different cut up fruit/veg whilst she plays?

Invite some older children around regularly and put on this kind of spread. (cousins tend to work really well if any available).

We do this a lot. It sometimes helps.

I just am so desperate for her to.... thrive. And not look thin, pale, undersized. She gets ill so often.

Thank you all for thoughts and suggestions. Lots to try.

My children are funny, that what they eat depends on the environment such as only eating cheese if we are having a picnic.

@2reefsin30knots

Pretty sure that there is no medical documentation of a healthy child starving themselves to death. It is reasonable to just keep offering a range of food.

Can you offer something like a home-made smoothie with double cream to boost some calories? Home-made ice-cream?

Actually there is, you really should make sure you know what you're talking about before commenting.

Hi OP, I started giving my DS a multivitamin every day (liquid form that I could add to his juice) and his appetite increased a huge amount. Is your DD taking any kind of vitamins?

What would happen if you just said "we haven't got any satsumas, would you like blueberries instead?"

As for cereal, will she eat it dry? So if she had a bowl of dry shreddies and a cup of whole milk. She might not eat any actual cereal, but the waste would be less (because the cereal can be served another day)

What happens if you ask her to choose between porridge and eggs on toast? (Presuming she likes both) and if she ask for something else, re-iterating her choices between the two?

eat any more actual cereal*

So stressful for you OP.

When my DS is teething he eats basically nothing and has no appetite. During those times I find smoothies and energy balls helpful to get fat in. For smoothies I include avocado as a base and nut butter for energy balls. Both are very filling but you don’t notice until after.

Also recommend keeping a snack drawer/basket at her level that she can help herself to. Most of the time they just like being able to feel in control, definitely helps my toddler.

Sorry, my questions are about trying to remove your emotional response if frustration/anger caused by her only having "one bite/segment/small amount".

I understand that you're worried. But if you can remove some the frustration around the potential waste, then it might help make it all a bit more manageable for you.

My ds was not a fussy eater but just was not fussed about food. So he ate what he needed and no more, give him a packet of chocolate he would only eat a tiny bit, lunch he would eat tiny amounts but it satisfied him. He would eat a range of foods just very little of them. Consultant used to say full fat everything which I did but honestly it was so hard. He got to 11 and suddenly started to need more food so ate more and is now a normal weight. Stepping back is good and give as many calories as you can in what she will eat, it will get better.

If she doesn’t like to eat much at any one time, can you leave out a plate of food all day and let her just pick at it? No pressure to eat at a particular time. Smoothies are another option

Sorry I haven't read the other replies but I follow an Instagram account called Kids Eat In Colour - she's an American
kids dietician (I think), and she has some great tips and ideas. Lots of them are mentioned above but I find it a really useful account to follow.

Too lazy

Its funny, DD will basically only eat fruit in season and preferably if shes picked it herself.

In summer she was eating lots of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and cherries, apples and plums from the garden, plus blackberries we picked. If I buy those things in a shop off season she won't touch them.