Me and dp havent been having much luck in the bedroom department. It's been pretty much non existent for the past two years. I got pregnant and then we've had dc who has co slept with us most of the way through the year. My sex drive has hit an all time low. I bf, and just mentally and physically have not been feeling my best let alone feeling "sexy". Me and dp barely get out anymore or have any quality time. To me he is dad and I am mum. We arent really sexual beings anymore.
A couple of weeks ago, something very rare happened. I was in the mood! Dp was ecstatic of course as I pounced on him and it was like the good old times. The thing is, with our sex life before, dp has never been able to make me finish. I explained at the start of our relationship about my frustrations that no one I have ever been with has been able to let alone have been bothered to try. I have a list of selfish lovers that were all give and no take. Dp was adamant things would be different with him and at the start he tried. But once he realised it was not easily done (within a couple of minutes) he very quickly gave up and just deemed me "impossible" which helped with my self esteem, NOT. He would always claim he wishes sex would be less one sided for him as he knows I dont really enjoy it but he never actively tries to do anything different. He has quite happily gotten into the rut of getting his some and then leaving me high and dry.
So back to the day I was finally in the mood, I decided to initiate foreplay on him but he finished really prematurely before we could get to having "sex". He then decided to roll over and go to sleep! I told him that I was still in the mood but he just mumbled that he couldnt keep his eyes open and that was that.
The next morning I voiced out my feelings on the night. I told him it was such a rare thing for me to be feeling up for anything and how his selfishness completely deflated what ever little urge I had to try with him again. He then said it was my fault for making him finish too quickly and that when a man "finishes" they arent in the mood anymore. I then told him he didnt need to be in the mood to make his bloody fingers work! He could of just pleasure me because he wanted to return the favour and not everything has to be based on whether he is in the mood or not. It became an argument and eventually apologised and said next time I should just drag out his side of things longer so he doesnt finish and can sort me out.
But I've given him bjs plenty of times when I haven't even been in the mood as I know we arent having sex at the moment so I do it for him. I just feel like he is missing the point. Now I'm off my period I know it will be another month of him trying to get in my pants but I cant get over this incident and I'm just completely put off having sex with HIM.
Aibu or has he been a selfish git?