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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this was not ok and shows a worrying attitude to safeguarding?

61 replies

Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 14:46

Yesterday we went on a school tour for my child, who will start primary school next September. There were about six or seven other parents on the tour. The tour was done by the school secretary. When we got to one of the classrooms it was obvious from the outside (glass door) that the children in it were getting changed for PE, they were all in various states of undress including some just in pants. I assumed we'd turn back and go the other way (going through this classroom was the quickest but not the only way to the reception classroom) but to my astonishment the secretary breezed into the room and gave the same spiel as the other classrooms - 'this is year 3, they're doing gymnastics, they do this once a week' etc. The class teacher said, very weakly, 'it's not really an ideal time...' but that was it. So we all, a group of strange adults, were standing watching these children get changed. DH and I discussed it afterwards and he was quite shocked; he's a teacher (but secondary) and thought that a) it shouldn't have happened and b) safeguarding is usually such a top priority for a school that it seems a bit troubling that neither of the staff present thought this was wrong or were alert to it. It's left me feeling a bit uneasy about the school - AIBU to feel this way, am I being a bit precious about it?

OP posts:
CherieBabySpliffUp · 04/11/2021 14:48

To be fair the teacher did acknowledge that the timing wasn't great. You could feed back to the school about it.

BingoandBluey · 04/11/2021 14:50

I agree I would be unhappy with that situation if it was my dc getting changed at school and visitors were brought in.

AntiHop · 04/11/2021 14:50

I think that's unacceptable.

KittenCatcher · 04/11/2021 14:51

The secretary should not have gone into the classroom and the teacher should have told her to leave. The door should have blinds put up if children use it to get changed. I would email the Head so they can investigate and review their training and practice.

HelenaJustina · 04/11/2021 14:51

School secretary dropped the ball there, though the teacher could have been more assertive in asking her to take you all elsewhere. Nothing wrong in sending an email with feed back on the whole tour and mentioning it in there.

Comefromaway · 04/11/2021 14:56

I used to be a theatre chaperone. If any child over the age of 5 years old was getting dressed into a costume we had to make sure that no-one (except the licensed chaperones allocated to that group) were able to see them. The Local Authority would be down on us like a ton of bricks if we allowed their parents anywhere near (unless they were designated chaperones too)

Totally unacceptable.

neeedofeedo · 04/11/2021 14:56

That's unacceptable and I would be feeding this back to whoever is in charge of safeguarding at the school.

It's just basic common sense not to march a load of visitors into a room full of undressed children 🥴

Row1n · 04/11/2021 14:57

Thats completely unacceptable and Id be messaging the school to ask how that was allowed to happen and that it was making you question the school for your own child if their safeguarding is seemingly non existent

hangrylady · 04/11/2021 15:12

Definitely unacceptable

Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 15:15

Thanks - glad it wasn't just me who thought this was really poor. I will consider emailing but I guess my concern is that this isn't something that I think they should need to be told by a random member of the public! I'm a bit torn generally because I thought it would be an absolute no-brainer that we'd send DS to this highly oversubscribed, Ofsted outstanding school (it's one of the reasons our house cost what it did!) but I got really bad vibes when touring it, including but not only this incident, and I'm not sure how much weight to put on that.

OP posts:
Greyhedge · 04/11/2021 15:19

If you got bad vibes from the school go with your gut, just because it’s outstanding doesn’t mean it’s right for you! Definitely shouldn’t have been taken in that classroom and honestly I think it’s very poor the secretary was showing you round, should have been the head or a member of the leadership team.

icelollycraving · 04/11/2021 15:21

I personally wouldn’t email. The first person to read your email may well be the person who showed you around. Could you call and ask to speak to the headteacher?
It seems unacceptable to me.

gingerlyme · 04/11/2021 15:25

It sounds like very poor organisational skills. Perhaps, just drop an email to the school and explain what happened, so can be avoided in the future.

daisychainsandrainbows · 04/11/2021 15:27

Definitely not okay and I'd say something so this doesn't happen again. I taught in a school nursery. The two rooms were joined by a corridor (a bit longer route around) or the shared toilets (shorter route). One day the headteacher lead a tour around and lead the tour straight through the children's toilets with toddlers sat on toilets and potties and one lying undressed on the changing table. She was the designated safeguarding lead. Some people are just clueless.

multivac · 04/11/2021 15:30

Definitely send an email. Be polite and curious; how they respond to your query will be a very good test of your gut instinct about the school as a whole (as in, a good school will acknowledge the error, apologise and, crucially, tell you that steps have been taken so the situation cannot occur again; a bad one will tell you there's nothing to worry about).

Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 15:37

My slight fear with emailing is in case we do send DS there - I have an unusual name so I think it's pretty likely that the school secretary would remember it (people usually do) and as someone said I would guess she would see the email. I don't want to get backs up before he even starts!

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T0rt0ise · 04/11/2021 15:45

I would find out who the designated safeguarding lead is (it will be on the school website) and speak to them directly. IMO that's pretty piss poor and also shows a lack of regard for their students. I'm a secondary school teacher and would seriously consider whether I'd want to send my child their or not depending on their response.

T0rt0ise · 04/11/2021 15:50

Also worth noting that schools graded as 'good' or 'outstanding' are only inspected every four years (and even then it's a shorter inspection) so the reality may be very different. (I think up until 2019 outstanding schools weren't routinely reinspected at all so that judgement could be very old).

Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 15:55

I would find out who the designated safeguarding lead is (it will be on the school website)

I've looked and it isn't (and the safeguarding policy is just a link to the DfE guidance) - also a bit of a red flag?! And yes, the outstanding is more than 6 years old - tbh, I wasn't putting that much weight on that anyway (teacher DS is very sceptical of Ofsted ratings!), but everyone around here wants to send their child there so I wasn't expecting to not like it!

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 15:58

Obviously that should be teacher DH, my three year old isn't a teacher

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Dixiechickonhols · 04/11/2021 16:01

Go with your gut op. Ofsted outstanding doesn’t mean it’s great.
I’d raise it by email with school. You were concerned about strangers being allowed to see undressed children and can they clarify pe changing arrangements.

T0rt0ise · 04/11/2021 16:05

@Hardbackwriter

I would find out who the designated safeguarding lead is (it will be on the school website)

I've looked and it isn't (and the safeguarding policy is just a link to the DfE guidance) - also a bit of a red flag?! And yes, the outstanding is more than 6 years old - tbh, I wasn't putting that much weight on that anyway (teacher DS is very sceptical of Ofsted ratings!), but everyone around here wants to send their child there so I wasn't expecting to not like it!

That would be a concern for me! Ours certainly is. In that case I would ring them up and ask who the DSL is as you have a safeguarding concern. Personally I wouldn't email as you have no idea if it'll make it to the relevant person.
Hardbackwriter · 04/11/2021 16:07

I massively preferred the other school we saw - the one that I had previously thought would just be our back-up for the form. There's also practical considerations: I work four days a week and have a younger child and I genuinely don't know how I could make the journey to the other school work alongside nursery drop-off and still get to work, but obviously I don't want to send DS somewhere I feel uncomfortable about for the sake of convenience.

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Rockbird · 04/11/2021 16:10

I'm a school secretary and this isn't acceptable. You shouldn't have been taken into the room and, had I seen children changing through the door I'd have made a sharp u turn. Definitely email someone. Even if you don't feel the school is for you this needs to be flagged up.

JassyRadlett · 04/11/2021 16:23

Agree with everyone else, this would be a red flag for me.

I also think that ‘outstanding’ schools can get very complacent. They have nothing no to aim for and no driver to improve.

Two years before DS1 started school, his school got a shock ‘requires improvement’ and it was the best thing that could have happened. There were leadership changes, new approaches and focus introduced and two years later they were back to a ‘good’. But the interesting thing is the ethos of continuous improvement has continued. Any weaknesses in results don’t get dismissed as a ‘one off year’, they’re addressed promptly, with the culture that even if it is ok there is no harm in trying to make it better anyway.

Their results have continued to climb in the 6 years my kids have been there and it’s still maintained its culture of feeing like a smallish, family school.

Meanwhile the local ‘outstandings’ have languished a bit, and I know a number of people who have moved their kids away.

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