How can you predict if you will like being a parent?

[KarmaElBanana]

Do you think there are any predictors of whether someone will take to having kids or not? I see a lot of those threads on here where people ask who regrets having kids, and the general proportion is 2/3 don’t regret it, 1/3 do.

So what characteristics / circumstances / etc. do you think are predictors of whether someone will take to being a parent or regret their decision? Is there any basis you can use to judge how likely it is to be the path for you? Eg different personality traits / types of temperament / circumstantial aspects of their life?

As others have said, it's as much about support systems as personality.

I am not patient, I'm not a natural with kids and I like having time to myself, but I have been able to enjoy having kids because:

• I have family support network close - we had free babysitting and were able to have time as a couple even when the kids were tiny, including weekends away
• I had realistic expectations - I began to wind down social life a bit as we started trying for a baby so we could get used to a slower pace
• We've been OK for money for the most part - some 'squeaky' moments when DH or I have been out of work, but we haven't generally had stress about it
• We've always owned property since we were married, so had a stable living situation

On personality front it helps that I'm generally not given to excessive guilt so I don't agonise over every little decision I make about the kids, also I'm an optimist so don't catastrophise and I have a silly sense of humour.

I've got zero family around me to support me or give me a break, dh works very long hours, we have 3 young dc, one with sn. I don't regret them and I am a good parent! It's not easy don't get me wrong, but they're my world.

I would say there are three factors to consider:

1. genetics - if there is a history of neuro diversity in your family or childhood illnesses then you could be in for a harder than average experience of parenthood.

2. if your partner is a dick motherhood will be harder

3. wise career choices can make or break your parenting experiences

I don’t think personality has as much to do with it as the above,

Job skills required… are you patient? Flexible? Take the rough with the smooth? Don’t get stressed by small issues? Enjoy a challenge…

Can you parent a child who is very different to you? Is horizontal where you are controlling, is organised where you are super relaxed…?

I thought I had the quals but 2 DC with SN later I’m much less sure. You never know what you’re going to get!!

Also - make sure you have some money to make the process less stressful. If possible.

Also how can you predict if you'll like being a parent when you have 7 kids before someone qualified points out "dude, you have ADHD!" ?

And then you realise "oh fuck, now I get why I could NEVER relate to certain things other mums would tell me about and why they would be baffled by so many things too".

I never could've predicted anything. not if I'd, not what kind of parent I'd be because a huge chunk of information was hidden from me!

You just don't have all the info. ever.
You just jump