AIBU to hate work do’s

[Getoutofthis]

Just as the title states really.

With the Christmas work parties inching ever closer, I can’t be the only to dread them.
I always try to give gentle excuses but people seem to think it’s ok to put lots of pressure on me, to try and pursued/force/ convince me to go. This year I have even been called unreasonable and rude for not going…. but they will be loads of fun right ? I always end up feeling guilty. I don’t mind my work colleagues but to me that’s what they are - colleagues.
At a different point in my life, I might feel like socialising but for now, all I want to do is spend any free time I have with my family. Why can’t people just accept this.
AIBU?

Next time get the date of the party first then say sorry I'm away that weekend. Repeat repeat repeat. No one can argue with that and it stops you stressing about it.

I'm with you! Absolutely hate them, with no desire to attend or pretend to enjoy.

We don’t have this issue this year. We’ve been told we’re not allowed to have a full staff team Christmas night out!

Yanbu, I haven't been for well over a decade. That being said , I am going this year, but I've said I won't have the food, it's always dire. I just need to let my hair down a bit with my stressed out colleagues.

There have been several threads on this already.

Don't go then.
I like my workmates, and am really looking forward to this year's Christmas do.

Oh I LOATHE work do's

I'd rather remove my liver with a rusty fork than attend one, hence I've never attended and been called a 'miserable bastard' several times

Yip thats me... really not into Christamas and even less so when faced with Brian from accounts with his festive tie around his head and spraying everyone in a 15 foot radius with Iceland sausage roll crumbs

We just so a meal after work and there is no expectation to stay later than after the meal.

The problem is, if companies did nothing, people would complain. If they did something but not a full thing (IE paid for dinner but no drinks) people would complain.

I do think it's a no win situation

Thanks for the replies, feel better already.

@TeeTotaller1 this made me chuckle.

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea completely understand this, it’s nice we are put something on and hope they all have a good time. I just don’t like pressure from others that I have to go, and the daily digs that go with it.

I’m considering faking Covid symptoms just to avoid mine

** Don't go then.
I like my workmates, and am really looking forward to this year's Christmas do.**

^Me too

I never go to them.

Luckily my team are mostly antisocial introverts too - the perks of working in data! 😆

@RampantIvy
@drpet49 I like my work colleagues too :)

But do either of you goad your colleagues and tell them how it’s gonna be sooo awkward because your not going and everyone will be having so much fun. Or do you just let people live and make their own choices and be ok with that ?

Yanbu
Christmas dos are horrendous. Avoid like the plague.
When I was younger I never would have missed one. I could never understand why some people would never go to them. They're such fun, right? WRONG!
Hell on earth!

Brian from accounts with his festive tie around his head and spraying everyone in a 15 foot radius with Iceland sausage roll crumbs
😂😂😂

YANBU op. Our work is planning a Christmas night in with Christmas movies

but do either of you goad your colleagues and tell them how it’s gonna be sooo awkward because your not going and everyone will be having so much fun.

No, I would never do that.

Or do you just let people live and make their own choices and be ok with that ?

Yes I do. There is no point in forcing people along to something they won't enjoy. They would be poor company as well.

Me too and I’m on the organising committee this year.

I tend to swerve the whole school Christmas dos, but do enjoy the department meals. We typically book an early table, have food and go home to families.

I like going out and eating food/drinking drinks and talking to people i know so a Christmas do would never feel like "hell on earth" to me

@craftyminer

I like going out and eating food/drinking drinks and talking to people i know so a Christmas do would never feel like "hell on earth" to me

Same here. However, there are an awful lot of mumsnetters who dislike their colleagues or who are extremely introverted so it would be hell on earth for them.

Mine is on a Friday lunchtime in a town that takes me 6 hours to travel to (head office) for 2 hours then 6 hours travel home. I don't even know the people as they live in the town and I work from home. There is still pressure on me to attend, despite the fact it will likely cost the company £100+ in train fares (potentially involving an overnight stay). I have declined but can almost hear the office gossips slagging me off from here!

@chloworm no one with an ounce of common sense would talk about you for not attending that do. That's insane if you're actually expected to attend

Hate them. Never went on them. Didn't even used to come up with an excuse, just a flat 'no thanks'. Not even sorry. Everyone just got absolutely, brain damaging drunk and screamed and threw up everywhere every single time. It was embarrassing and not what I chose chose do with my previous non work time. Bleh.

I don't mind them too much though I always stick to one drink - I've seen far too many red faces come Monday morning to cope with the dreaded fear.

I guess my post is more about wishing people would be more accepting, like

“Yey I love partying, that makes me happy”

“This person wants to stay home with their family, that makes them happy”

I used to love a good party, just not at this point, and wish people would just be ok with that.

@craftyminer it's crazy isn't it? But yes expected 'for the good of the team'. They are a bit gossipy and I just can't deal with the office politics. I'm too old to put up with that!!