AIBU to hate work do’s

[Getoutofthis]

Just as the title states really.

With the Christmas work parties inching ever closer, I can’t be the only to dread them.
I always try to give gentle excuses but people seem to think it’s ok to put lots of pressure on me, to try and pursued/force/ convince me to go. This year I have even been called unreasonable and rude for not going…. but they will be loads of fun right ? I always end up feeling guilty. I don’t mind my work colleagues but to me that’s what they are - colleagues.
At a different point in my life, I might feel like socialising but for now, all I want to do is spend any free time I have with my family. Why can’t people just accept this.
AIBU?

I'm a SAHM so never have work dos.
I'll be your stunt double!

I’m amazed by all these companies who pay for Christmas parties! I have clearly been in the nhs too long.. anything we do for Christmas is in our own time, out of our own pocket and this year needs a massive bloody risk assessment

unless there's a pre-booking and deposits and exact numbers matter I'd say I was going but then just not turn up.
no excuses, no nothing

I hear you, OP!!

Can’t bear them… every time our firm has Xmas parties, we have been banned from the venue for various bad behaviours, with the police being called to more than one “do”😕

The youngest staff members always pre-load on drink/drugs so are hammered and vomitty on arrival, the food can be hit and miss, and there’s always a fight on the dance floor!!

Thank goodness that COVID saved us all from the horrors of a party last year! I am delighted that folk want to plan and attend these “do’s” but I’m too old for mopping up sick and separating arguments etc.
If I’m asked and I say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ that’s the end of it, surely?🤷‍♀️

Not a fan of them either. I get nervous socially. I did go two years ago boss beside me ha. I did enjoy night. But they a pain

No, they are bloody awful. I dreaded them and loathed giving up my free time for an evening/weekend for false joviality with colleagues who I didn't even really like.

Also, I found that I couldn't get as drunk as I liked to help cope with the uncomfortable circumstances. And always felt on guard. Got sat next to the MD on one Christmas do - what an honour! Can't think of many worse ways to spend an evening. To top it all off I got lumbered with the joyful task of arranging the secret Santa that year, what a pain in the arse that was. Someone must have really had it in for me in my early 20's....

If I were to go back to work in a social environment such as an office (which incidentally I hope I never have to do), I would be strong enough to decline invitations to out of working hours events. I'm in my late 30's now and no longer give a toss if people think I'm no fun!

My problem with Christmas dos was that they're always organised by the raving extroverts, so it's karaoke or similar in a noisy bar. A nice dinner in a good restaurant is more my style but that's considered dull.

The people I work with are a bit more sedate than that @PearlSlaghoople. We are all older with families and as far as I know, none of us take any kind of drugs.

I don't go either. I don't apologise or explain. I just say no thanks/I'm not coming/ hope you have a great time.

@TeeTotaller1

Oh I LOATHE work do's

I'd rather remove my liver with a rusty fork than attend one, hence I've never attended and been called a 'miserable bastard' several times

Yip thats me... really not into Christamas and even less so when faced with Brian from accounts with his festive tie around his head and spraying everyone in a 15 foot radius with Iceland sausage roll crumbs

Haha! Indeed....we are on the same page!

And I don't dislike my colleagues nor am I an introvert. I just hate work dos. Always have.

Yanbu

I hate them too. When the company was bigger I went to one. Didnt bother after that. And there hasnt been anything the last 4 years which is ok with me.

I hate them but do a work time Buffett or quiz to meet in the middle, I love the Christmas cheer etc but hate the sexual harrasment that always come with a Christmas do that involves alcohol and going "out out"

Seriously if I wanted to socialise with them we would be friends - I have far better things to do in my free time.

I used to go to work do's for the free wine and probability of a shag (hospitality).

Now, I've not attended any of my current job Xmas parties. Apart from the fact that I live a fair distance away from any venue we ever have it in and transport is hellish and accommodation ridiculously expensive, DH on shift, I just stopped even saying maybe.

Say you have long running pre-xmas plans with friends that weekend.

I used to love them as I loved a dance floor but I've lost interest as I have got older. I would still dance but all the other stuff gets in the way. Two I went to in recent years had burlesque as part of the entertainment and although I can see all the arguments about burlesque not being stripping, frankly the reactions of the male partygoers just made me feel sick and I didn't want to be there, plus the venue had overbooked the event and it was hideously crowded.

I quite enjoyed afternoon tea with some civilised colleagues. But mostly i am just delighted they've all been cancelled again this year because of Covid.

Just happen to ‘develop’ Covid symptoms the morning of the party

YANBU, I despise all these sociable events that are intended to be 'fun'. I'd rather sit at home watching TV or sitting on MN!

I've never been on one.
I don't do anything involving work, outside paid working hours. Ever.

@Getoutofthis

I guess my post is more about wishing people would be more accepting, like

“Yey I love partying, that makes me happy”

“This person wants to stay home with their family, that makes them happy”

I used to love a good party, just not at this point, and wish people would just be ok with that.

What makes you think they aren’t accepting?

I mean what can you say if you ask someone if they’re going to the office party and they say “ no, I’d rather be at home with my family” ( who one would assume you see all year round).

Obviously people say “ oh come, it’ll be fun” out politeness rather than desperately wanting you there. Because you basically told them they aren’t worth spending a few hours with socially.

I hate them , I hate full staff meetings or those cringe cone and have a cuppa and a croissant before work you may have once a year. It’s just forced bollocks, I never go to Xmas party’s, leaving drinks etc I hate socialising if I’m honest

Yabu. You could be unlucky enough that all your work colleagues didn't give a shit if you were going to the work do, you sound popular at work. Don't complain, like pp said, get the date first before you say you're busy and can't go.

I don’t go to mine and although a few people ask if I’m going they accept my answer of “it’s just not my thing.”
Someone takes the time to organise it and hassles everyone for the money and it’s kind of them to do it but I went twice, it was incredibly expensive for really terrible (and I mean, TERRIBLE) food, the drinks were even more expensive. The music was a dreadful cheesy disco (cringe) and I just hated it.
Now, 3 of us who are genuinely good friends meet up for dinner! Everyone’s happy.
I’d never pester someone for declining an invitation to a naff Christmas do. Or even a non naff one!

I'm not a fan either - I used to think I was the life and soul but have realised that actually parties make me anxious and I always end up drinking too much. There's quite a bit of pressure to attend our Xmas do but I've been firm this year and said no.

Just don’t go. I used to make excuses constantly but I got tired of it and now just say “no, I don’t want to go”. If I get pushed I’m honest and say “I don’t like being in crowds or being out late”. I don’t care if I sound like a boring cunt, I don’t need to impress anyone.

@RampantIvy

I think for a lot of the younger staff members (late teens, early twenties) the pre-load thing is the norm🤷‍♀️ It does make for some unexpected and ‘entertaining’ arrivals… the falling through the door, taking down the Xmas tree with you / vomiting across the table at the sight of the food /crashing into the disco equipment etc etc was just one years issues…
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some cracking nights out in my younger years, but now I’m old and knackered and get up at 4.45am for work, I can’t be arsed with it all.
I also think that the year I was nursing my terminally ill DH, I really didn’t asking repeatedly if I was going to the Xmas party…😳