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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find a replacement for my cleaner...

116 replies

Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 15:29

... after finding out that she isn't vaccinated against COVID?

Just that really.

She mentioned this in passing when she was here today - this is not due to being vulnerable or anything, just that she "doesn't believe" in the vaccine. Her unvaccinated secondary school age children also live with her which makes me feel more uncomfortable.

To be clear, this isn't a choice based on discriminating against her for her beliefs, it's about a genuine fear of being more at risk from catching COVID from her and I don't know if I'm BU for feeling like this.

I know that looking for a replacement starts a slippery slope of discrimination against those who chose not to be vaccinated but I feel uncomfortable as I am home when she is here and I am quite heavily pregnant - this final factor being what is swaying me towards finding a replacement.

Am I being over the top? Do I just need to accept that COVID is part of our lives now and so is inevitably mixing with people that have chosen not to get the vaccine?

Sorry this is a bit stream of consciousness. Really appreciate any thoughts.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 03/11/2021 15:47

Am I being over the top? Do I just need to accept that COVID is part of our lives now and so is inevitably mixing with people that have chosen not to get the vaccine?

I would say yes to all of that.

Lavender24 · 03/11/2021 16:07

YABU. People who have been vaccinated can still spread covid. My understanding is that the vaccine simply lessons the vaccinated person's symptoms. I currently have two extremely ill work colleagues who both have covid despite being double vaccinated.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 03/11/2021 16:10

Its her choice to get vaccinated or not just like its your choice to employ her.

If she is otherwise excellent and you had no health worries I might let it go, but with you shortly about to have a vulnerable newborn I'd try and find another one tbh

Franklin12 · 03/11/2021 16:12

I actually agree with you but have you been vaccinated yourself?

Original poster
Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 16:14

@Franklin12

I actually agree with you but have you been vaccinated yourself?
@Franklin12 Yes, I'm double vaccinated.
OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 03/11/2021 16:15

My understanding is that the vaccine simply lessons the vaccinated person's symptoms.

That isn’t correct. A vaccinated person is still less likely to be infected in the first place (ignore those who’ve tried to mislead using the UKHSA data that the stats watchdog has already told them off for being potentially misleading and definitely open to being falsely manipulated).

There’s also some evidence that they clear the virus more swiftly, therefore reducing their overall risk to others.

A good summary here from Full Fact.

Original poster
Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 16:16

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee

Its her choice to get vaccinated or not just like its your choice to employ her.

If she is otherwise excellent and you had no health worries I might let it go, but with you shortly about to have a vulnerable newborn I'd try and find another one tbh

That's a really good way of looking at it, thank you.
OP posts:
NotJustACigar · 03/11/2021 16:18

I would sack her and get a cleaner who is vaccinated. It isn't about discrimination but about people doing the right thing to protect others, and I wouldn't want to feel I was taking any unnecessary risk by having her clean my home instead of someone else.

KarmaStar · 03/11/2021 16:19

It's your home op,if you don't feel comfortable then do explain to her that you no longer require her services.
Being pregnant,you need to relax and feel ready for your little boy,not to be worrying about picking up a virus from an employee.
If you have a contract check it to see where you stand in his much notice and grounds etc,if no contract then give her some wages to see her through the next couple of weeks of so and say goodbye.
Good luck with everything.

gamerchick · 03/11/2021 16:21

I think those who don't believe in the vaccine should accept there may be consequences for that. They can't complain about it and should just take it on the chin as one of those things.

urbanbuddha · 03/11/2021 16:24

You're about to have a baby.
Your cleaner has made a decision which she knows will affect others. It doesn't work for you and your family. As a pp points out upthread even the double vaccinated can become ill.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 03/11/2021 16:25

Ditch her and find someone new. I've got no time for people who put others at risk by not getting vaccinated

Rainallnight · 03/11/2021 16:25

YANBU. I’m parting company with our handyman because of this.

Shitfuckcommaetc · 03/11/2021 16:27

Why not get her full vaccine record?
Has she had the mmr? Meningitis b/c?
Flu vaccine?

Or is covid the only risk to you and your baby?

evelynhugo · 03/11/2021 16:27

I'd let her go, narrow the risk. You're also narrowing the risk of her being off sick too.

DowntonCrabby · 03/11/2021 16:27

Totally her choice just the same as it’s your choice to prefer a vaccinated cleaner, YANBU OP.

MrsWooster · 03/11/2021 16:30

She has a right to make her choice. And so do you.
Choices have consequences and it’s perfectly reasonable for you to take a view that you want to lessen chances of covid transmission around your new-born.

hangrylady · 03/11/2021 16:34

I don't think YABU. It's her choice of course, but it's your choice whether to have an unvaccinated person in your house.

RockinHorseShit · 03/11/2021 16:37

YADNBU. Your cleaner can have her beliefs & principles anyway she likes... up until it puts you & your family at higher risk of covid, which it potentially does, then as her employer you have every right to re asses the risk & replace her. Your house, your rules, end of

gamerchick · 03/11/2021 16:40

@Shitfuckcommaetc

Why not get her full vaccine record? Has she had the mmr? Meningitis b/c? Flu vaccine?

Or is covid the only risk to you and your baby?

No. This argument is void. It simply does not matter. The OP requires a vaccinated against covid cleaner and her cleaner isn't. Game over. There is no debate on it.
2bazookas · 03/11/2021 16:50

It depends on how vulnerable you are.

People who are fully vaccinated, in good health, have none of the age/medical conditions/ factors that make people who catch covid less able to resist it, then even if you catch it you should just have a mild dose lasting a few days. Which would then help you develop more antibodies and improve your resistance to covid.

  OTOH if I was  80, obese, diabetic,  undergoing  chemotherapy  or had a poor immune system  I'd be very wary indeed of indoor home  contact with unvaccinated people . I'd swap an unvaccinated cleaner for a vaccinated one.
Lou98 · 03/11/2021 17:02

Don't think you are or aren't BU as it's everyone's preference on what they're happy with.

However, how will you be able to guarantee the replacement is vaccinated? You're not entitled to their medical records so you're only going by their word - I'm not even sure if you can legally ask a potential employee about it (although I may be wrong). There is also a chance they'll lie about being vaccinated if they want the job

RockinHorseShit · 03/11/2021 17:06

However, how will you be able to guarantee the replacement is vaccinated? You're not entitled to their medical records so you're only going by their word - I'm not even sure if you can legally ask a potential employee about it (although I may be wrong). There is also a chance they'll lie about being vaccinated if they want the job

That's the thing though, vaccinated people have nothing to hide & will be more than happy to offer proof or advertise themselves as vaccinated. DH is a tradesman as are several friends & they all flash their vaccination cards quite freely, as have trades we've had do work here. 🤷‍♀️

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/11/2021 17:07

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I don’t understand unvaccinated people getting the hump when vaccinated people don’t want to be in their company.

You make your bed, you lie in it. Unvaccinated people can surely just be happy in the knowledge that they’re ‘right’ (according to themselves).

In your circumstances, I’d definitely be finding a replacement.

Chasingaftermidnight · 03/11/2021 17:07

You’re not her employer - she’s presumably self-employed - so it’s just a question of who you want to provide services in your home. I think you’re perfectly within your rights not to want an unvaccinated person who has unvaccinated secondary age kids in your home, especially when you’re heavily pregnant - if you catch it (even if you’re asymptomatic), at the very best it would impact negatively on your antenatal care/care in labour.

Not quite the same thing but I am also pregnant and needed some refresher driving lessons and I asked the instructor if he was vaccinated before booking lessons. He was, and was taking various other Covid precautions, but if he hadn’t been I wouldn’t have taken lessons with him.