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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find a replacement for my cleaner...

116 replies

Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 15:29

... after finding out that she isn't vaccinated against COVID?

Just that really.

She mentioned this in passing when she was here today - this is not due to being vulnerable or anything, just that she "doesn't believe" in the vaccine. Her unvaccinated secondary school age children also live with her which makes me feel more uncomfortable.

To be clear, this isn't a choice based on discriminating against her for her beliefs, it's about a genuine fear of being more at risk from catching COVID from her and I don't know if I'm BU for feeling like this.

I know that looking for a replacement starts a slippery slope of discrimination against those who chose not to be vaccinated but I feel uncomfortable as I am home when she is here and I am quite heavily pregnant - this final factor being what is swaying me towards finding a replacement.

Am I being over the top? Do I just need to accept that COVID is part of our lives now and so is inevitably mixing with people that have chosen not to get the vaccine?

Sorry this is a bit stream of consciousness. Really appreciate any thoughts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 19:56

@HairyScaryMonster

I sympathise but are you honestly going to ring up cleaners and ask if they're vaccinated (and if they say yes have any certainty they're telling the truth)? You can sack the one you've got but how are you going to make sure the new one is vaxxed?
Thanks, I was just planning to explain the situation to any potential new cleaner and that I would feel most comfortable (as I'm pregnant) having somebody in my home who has been vaccinated and ask to see their vaccination card. It's totally up to them if they'd rather not show me, as I understand some people wouldn't want to take the job on that basis or to give details of their personal decisions.
OP posts:
Original poster
Newbie408 · 03/11/2021 19:57

@Tryingtryingandtrying

This exact thread came up a few weeks ago and I'm sure the poster was told very definitely they were unreasonable. Amazing what a few nudges can do. If she couldn't be vaccinated for health reasons you wouldn't mind catching it off her though? Is that right?
Nope! That's not right. I would still have my concerns as I'm not concerned about her personal opinion on the vaccine and why she didn't get it, I'm concerned about having increased risk of catching it,
OP posts:
Tryingtryingandtrying · 03/11/2021 19:59

So you would discriminate against her for personal health reasons? There is a reason our personal health records are confidential. People walking around with hep B and Hiv and luckily other people have no idea.

MareofBeasttown · 03/11/2021 20:01

You don't really owe an explanation to anyone. I don't have unvaxxed people in my house because DH is CV. Your house, your rules. Millions have been vaxxed now and if people are still not getting vaxxed without medical reasons, they can live with their choice.

Tryingtryingandtrying · 03/11/2021 20:04

What about those not vaxxed for medical reasons. Like under 12s. Do you let them in your house?

MareofBeasttown · 03/11/2021 20:11

No one under 12 visits me so the issue does not arise. But cleaners are optional- unlike relatives- and there are many vaxxed ones out there. I have one. There really is no reason to make your life harder when pregnant or CV.

LuaDipa · 03/11/2021 20:17

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

Do you not trust the vaccines that you have had yourself?

The vaccine doesn’t necessarily stop you getting COVID, as everyone who hasn’t been living under a rock knows.

It just lessens the symptoms and impact.

Most of the people in hospital / ICU / dying are the unvaccinated.

This.

COVID can also affect some pregnant women in unpredictable ways and I certainly couldn’t bring myself to judge a pregnant woman harshly for taking reasonable precautions.

RockinHorseShit · 03/11/2021 20:19

Doesn't alter my position either. But I'd judge any of my friends who sacked someone for not being vaccinated.

& if you were my friend, I'd laugh at you & think you were a dick for not understanding that some people are higher risk & therefore have every right to protect themselves, when others are too dim to understand the necessity of getting the vaccine. I'd seriously reevaluate our friendship too as I have done with antivaxxer/denier friends

LuaDipa · 03/11/2021 20:24

@Tryingtryingandtrying

So you would discriminate against her for personal health reasons? There is a reason our personal health records are confidential. People walking around with hep B and Hiv and luckily other people have no idea.
I’m very much hoping that you are aware that Hep B and HIV are not airborne viruses and are not transmitted in the same way as COVID.
Tryingtryingandtrying · 03/11/2021 20:25

I didn't say they were.

CombatBarbie · 03/11/2021 21:11

@RockinHorseShit

Doesn't alter my position either. But I'd judge any of my friends who sacked someone for not being vaccinated.

& if you were my friend, I'd laugh at you & think you were a dick for not understanding that some people are higher risk & therefore have every right to protect themselves, when others are too dim to understand the necessity of getting the vaccine. I'd seriously reevaluate our friendship too as I have done with antivaxxer/denier friends

Erm where have I said I'm a COVID denier or antivaxxer...... 😂 If you read my original post in this thread I said..... And this is what all the anti vaxers said would happen.

Dim....OK, rather shallow of you....sorry but I'd rather people were allowed a choice on their own bodies, regardless of my own thoughts on the matter. I have friends and family who are unvaccinated both through choice and medical requirement.... I would never question their belief in the same way that I wouldn't question anyone's religion. Their body their choice.

Covid is not going away but half of these responses are bordering on hysteria. And many people STILL think that it provides immunity.

My parents are double jabbed and caught covid at work..... They were floored with it for 2 solid weeks unable to look after themselves, another 2 weeks before they felt they could return to work. One parent now has long covid 3 months on.

ilovesooty · 03/11/2021 21:38

I doubt if anyone seriously believes vaccines provide immunity.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 03/11/2021 21:46

I wouldn't let anyone in my house who hasn't had the Covid vaccine .
Your cleaner has the choice, so do you.

LethargicActress · 03/11/2021 21:50

Usually, I’d think you were being over the top because it’s not like you’d be following your cleaner round and getting up close to her so the risk is tiny. But you’re about to have a baby and your entitled to be as precious and ott as you like about who’s working in your home.

PinkiOcelot · 03/11/2021 22:04

COVID has seriously turned people into total arse holes. Firstly, it was the curtain twitchers - my neighbour has had a friend around, AIBU to report them? Was I unreasonable to ask a bloke in Asda why he wasn’t wearing a mask? And now we have the vaccine police!! Yippee!!

ilovesooty · 03/11/2021 22:26

@PinkiOcelot

COVID has seriously turned people into total arse holes. Firstly, it was the curtain twitchers - my neighbour has had a friend around, AIBU to report them? Was I unreasonable to ask a bloke in Asda why he wasn’t wearing a mask? And now we have the vaccine police!! Yippee!!
Why does it make you an arsehole or covid police if you don't want to use the services of someone who chooses to disclose you you that they've chosen not to be vaccinated because they don't believe in it? If you haven't asked someone to provide the information and it's been freely disclosed, why shouldn't you decide you'd rather not employ that person?
ilovesooty · 03/11/2021 22:29

Sorry - vaccine police

Why is being selective about using someone's services on the same level as people being intrusive about mask exemption or checking what their neighbours are doing?

Tryingtryingandtrying · 04/11/2021 06:28

It is worse surely as it is active discrimination?

50ShadesOfCatholic · 04/11/2021 06:34

Totally. I'm no longer employing anyone unvaccinated. Why would I take that risk?

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 04/11/2021 06:35

Of course people are discriminating against the unvaccinated. Why is this shocking?

In any case - people are allowed to not let people into the own homes, and not use their services - for any reason at all. Let alone that they’re pregnant.

If you’re unvaccinated - what’s does it matter? You get the warm, cosy glow of being ‘right’ (at least to yourself).

opalplumstead · 04/11/2021 06:41

@SweetBabyCheeses99

So do you not think your vaccine works? Why should she get the same vaccine to protect you if this vaccine doesn’t work anyway?!
This !

YABU op

opalplumstead · 04/11/2021 06:44

@PinkiOcelot

COVID has seriously turned people into total arse holes. Firstly, it was the curtain twitchers - my neighbour has had a friend around, AIBU to report them? Was I unreasonable to ask a bloke in Asda why he wasn’t wearing a mask? And now we have the vaccine police!! Yippee!!
Completely agree
Naaaaah · 04/11/2021 06:47

@Sugarplumfairy65

I wouldn't let anyone in my house who hasn't had the Covid vaccine . Your cleaner has the choice, so do you.
I bet you would. Ambulance crew if you had an accident, fire brigade if you had a fire, plumber if you had a sudden leak, insurance evaluator if you had a ruined carpet etc. All highly unlikely scenarios but they do happen.
KalvinPhillipsManBun · 04/11/2021 06:49

Good luck sacking her based on her none of your business medical status as it's confidential.🙄

Sherwil16 · 04/11/2021 06:57

I had a cleaner for 2 years, then when the pandemic hit, I told my cleaner that she couldn't come into my home. I paid her from March until July 2020, hoping that things would be better. I am CEV, having had a kidney transplant, so was shielding. In July 2020, I texted my cleaner to say it didn't look like it would be possible for her to return. Fast forward to October 2021, now having had 3 vaccinations, I have tried to find a cleaner through word of mouth. Both came highly recommended, but not vaccinated. I have now found a cleaner who has been double vaccinated, so fingers crossed.