5 year old vegetarian?

[Meatandseventeenveg]

DD (aged 5 and a bit) is a good eater generally but has started to figure out where meat and fish come from and is refusing it.

She'll still eat (for now) ham, sausages, nuggets, mince and burgers but she doesn't seem to recognise that it is meat. I feel kind of guilty not spelling it out for her, but at the same time I'd prefer her to keep eating meat where she can.

So kind of a double AIBU really. First, AIBU to let her refuse meat and fish? And second, AIBU to not tell her that she is eating meat when I know she doesn't like it?

Yes YABU - she should have the right to choose. She trusts you to be honest with her.

Well I can't vote because it's one of each. YANBU to let her avoid meat or fish and I think YABU to mislead her re what she is eating. Hiding a courgette in a pasta sauce is one thing, but pretending it's not meat/fish when it is does not sit right with me.

I've never eaten meat and am perfectly healthy, if that helps allay any fears.

It may be just a phase she's going through or it may not. Either way the library will have some books on veg nutrition if you feel you need info and of course plenty of resources online.

If it's not a phase and she persists in refusing meat then just remember that both meaty and veggie diets can be healthy or unhealthy, it just depends what you feed her.

Ultimately up to you what you want to do. Vegetarian can be cheaper in £ but can sometimes take more time to prep especially while you're getting used to it.

At 5 you're still very much in charge of what she eats

You’re unreasonable to mislead her, but if she’s making a choice you would not be unreasonable to let her eat a vegetarian diet.

My dc were raised vegi until they decided otherwise.. Most just eat chicken and fish now.. The teen boys eat anything.. None are mad at me for depriving them until then!
Being vegi is fine op. Being honest in an age appropriate way. Slaughter house footage not necessary for example
.

My parents made me eat meat til I was a teen and I really hated them for it. They were shitty parents in general though.

I’d be honest with her, then she can choose. She doesn’t need a label as long as she’s eating well.

My Dd went vege at 5, she's 9 now & thriving. Let her choose.

YABVU. Stop lying to her and let her be vegetarian.

I think you should let her stop eating the meats and fish she recognises if she chooses, but I don't know if I'd point out all the other things that are meat which she doesn't realise at this stage.

If she asks you what else is made of meat then I'd tell her the truth though.

I am vegetarian myself and I think that's the approach I'd take, unless she has very specifically said she doesn't want to eat any meat, rather than identifying individual items that she doesn't want to eat.

If your DD wants to be veggie then let her as it is very easy to get veggie food now and she can have a healthy diet. In fact due to climate change it is good to bring up a child who will eat a wide variety of vegetarian foods.

However you are are completely wrong not to tell her that burgers, mince, nuggets, sausages etc are meat then not go and buy alternatives. I have a younger child who eats veggie burgers, nuggets and sausages similarly because she prefers them. I eat either as it isn't a big deal.

If you can afford it and it’s an option for your family, can you talk to her about higher-welfare meat and more ethically-sourced fish and promise her you will only buy those to eat at home? We are not vegetarian but talk to our DC about the fact that the school lunch nuggets are not from “happy chickens”, with the result that DC chooses the veg option on those days.

If your daughter doesn’t want to eat meat/fish at all then frankly I’d still support her: we should all eat less meat for the sake of the planet anyway, and 5 is old enough to have strong ethical principles and begin to understand what alternative sources of protein are available.

Why do you want her to eat meat?

I don't really understand why you'd want her to continue to eat processed meat if possible? It sounds like she's cut out the kind of meat that some people try and claim is necessary for health and is left with the processed meat that we are specifically told to limit because it has health risks. There's not really any benefit to that over veggie alternatives.

My daughters are both vegetarian from birth, 4 and 11. Perfectly healthy as far as I'm aware. It's not very difficult in this day and age.

Yabu not to tell her. When I was 11 and first decided to be vegetarian my mum told me fish pies from m+s were vegetarian and had no meat. So I ate lots of them as I trusted her. I still remember so vividly finding out she was lying.

Has she said "I don't want to eat meat" or has she said she doesn't want a beef dinner, for example?
If she asked what a burger was made of, would you tell her?

If you're just not telling her she's still eating meat, and she hasn't asked, I think that's ok.
If she's explicitly said she doesn't want to eat any meat, you should be honest with her.

I would tell her the truth, and if she wants to be completely vegi maybe you can have a quick Chat with a nutritionist to make sure you can offer her balanced meal and support her long term in her choice

@Username916

My daughters are both vegetarian from birth, 4 and 11. Perfectly healthy as far as I'm aware. It's not very difficult in this day and age.

Yabu not to tell her. When I was 11 and first decided to be vegetarian my mum told me fish pies from m+s were vegetarian and had no meat. So I ate lots of them as I trusted her. I still remember so vividly finding out she was lying.

I had similar experiences (I went vegetarian at a similar age to the OP's child, and still am many years later).

Let her choose, and tell her the truth.

Well I think that's pretty unanimous

I want her to eat meat, and even more so fish, as I've been led to believe it's good for a growing child. I was vegi myself for many years, and still only actually eat meat when I'm making food for the family, but I don't really know how to deal with a vegi diet for a young child. If anyone could recommend any good books or websites I'd appreciate it!

I think I might flag up meat products (surprisingly my meat-loving DH feels worse about not telling her that she's eating meat than I do) and then leave her to decide as she sees fit on the day. So for example if we have burgers I can make her a veggie burger if she wants one day, or a beef burger if she wants it. No cajoulong, just let her do what makes her comfortable at the time.

Has she said "I don't want to eat meat" or has she said she doesn't want a beef dinner, for example?
If she asked what a burger was made of, would you tell her?
I'm only lying by omission so far. She'll only say it in reference to a particular meat/fish, and hasn't talked about meat in general.

My DS is 4 and doesn’t like to eat meat as it comes from animals. I get him involved in the meal planning and ask him to help think of swaps, eg does he want a vegetarian burger like you say or can he think of an alternative form of protein. He likes boiled eggs chopped in half in a pasta bake, or sweet potato curry instead of chicken etc.

It's better for her health, better for the planet and better for the animals if your daughter eats a balanced plant based diet than eats meat.

I think it's fine for her to refuse meat and fish. Whether you tell her that sausages and nuggets are also meat I think is entirely up to you and for me it would depend on how enthusiastic she is about eating healthy non meat sources of protein. Perhaps rather than sit her down and spell it out you could start referring to chicken nuggets, pork sausages and beef burgers. If you already do that and she still eats them then I would be reluctant to say anything more on the matter, she may not want to stop eating those things for the time being.

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years.

My DD refused meat once she knew where it came from. She continued to eat some fish though. Now in her teens, by her own choice she eats chicken and likes it but no red meat. She's very healthy and has eaten little meat protein for most of her childhood.

We're a vegetarian family so dd7 has never eaten meat or fish. Around the age of 5, she said she wanted to try meat. We decided to respect that (wouldn't have done when she was younger than 5). We agreed that next time we ate out, she could try whatever she wanted. When it came to it, she changed her mind. She definitely has no desire to eat meat now.

Good for your dc. My dd is a vegetarian 'except for McDonald's, obviously' - Her words not mine