5 year old vegetarian?

[Meatandseventeenveg]

DD (aged 5 and a bit) is a good eater generally but has started to figure out where meat and fish come from and is refusing it.

She'll still eat (for now) ham, sausages, nuggets, mince and burgers but she doesn't seem to recognise that it is meat. I feel kind of guilty not spelling it out for her, but at the same time I'd prefer her to keep eating meat where she can.

So kind of a double AIBU really. First, AIBU to let her refuse meat and fish? And second, AIBU to not tell her that she is eating meat when I know she doesn't like it?

I would tell your DD that nuggets etc are meat. There are non animal alternatives she could have instead.

I did try veggie nuggets with her once and it was a hard no So yes I do worry about her not getting enough protein. She loves eggs and nuts, thank goodness, but I'm not sure that's enough. I might try a few easy swaps over the coming days (veggie sausage rolls for example) and see how we get on.

And any recommendations for healthy veggie swaps would be great - we really don't live on burgers and sausage rolls, but that's all I can think of right now!

Lentils and chickpeas are good

I've not eaten meat intentionally since I was six. I'm fine, a bit of a cow and carrying a little padding at the moment, but fine.

It would be unreasonable to 'trick' her. Of she finds out you'll have broken her trust.

getting enough protein.
This is where I do a little musical number. Ahem...

Protein is in everything. Potatoes, lentils, stew
Protein is in anything, don't worry now will youuuuu

The rest is in progress awaiting rhymes.

Seriously. Go on the NHS website and look at vegetarian options.

I made the decision to stop eating meat at 10. She will flat out refuse to eat it soon and to be fair there's so many more good food ideas out there than when I was growing up (that's you, Quorn mince). So I would be totally honest & have a conversation now because she may be wracked with guilt once she realises what she's eating. My parents thought it was a fad at first and deliberately gave me a chicken pie claiming it wasn't..I was heartbroken & have never forgotten it

We have been vegetarian since my dd was 18 months old. She is very healthy and had very little meat even before we went veggie full time.
She's now almost 5 (next month) and is asking questions about meat & fish. We have of course told her where meat comes from. Explained in the most child friendly way we could.
We have also told her at whatever point if she chooses to eat meat then she can. I wouldn't cook it at home obviously but if we eat out or she goes to grandparents then she can choose. at the moment she has no interest in doing so but I won't be upset if she does.

I think it's very important you respect her opinion on this and actually be proud of her for making her own decisions. It's important you encourage her to speak her mind, which she is doing.
It may only be a phase or something new she wants to try but maybe not and to be honest, she can live without a chicken nugget 😉

You should honour her choice and be honest with her.

We’re a veggie household. My baby is thriving. Meat isn’t necessary for a healthy diet (especially processed meat like nuggets and sausages). She can eat a perfectly balanced and healthy diet that doesn’t include meat.

DS had a period of vegetarianism at age 4.

I don't see why kids can't make ethical decisions.

As long as she's not calorie deficient she won't be protein deficient op.

Quorn nuggets are delicious FYI! Some supermarket own ones aren't great.

We use lentils as a mince alternative. We had lentil cottage pie for dinner last night. Can do the same in lasagne, bolognese etc.
It's super easy once you get the hang of it

Protein deficiency is super rare even amongst vegans and vegetarians, but if you want to be very sure she’s getting enough just include regular servings of tofu / edamame / seitan / lentils / chickpeas / beans / seeds / peas / grains / oats / rice. All lovely, healthy sources of veggie protein.

My eldest went veggie at 9 or so and she was really committed. She had always loved meat and fish and it was a real sacrifice for her to give up salmon. (We told her it was up to her and she was free to decide.) After that I told her about gummi bears, etc. -- it seemed horrible to trick her into eating candy when she had given up her favorite foods.

After a year as a strict vegetarian she went back to meat and fish. 🤷‍♀️

@Youcancallmeval

Well I can't vote because it's one of each. YANBU to let her avoid meat or fish and I think YABU to mislead her re what she is eating. Hiding a courgette in a pasta sauce is one thing, but pretending it's not meat/fish when it is does not sit right with me.

I agree. You risk turning this into a trust issue with her and creating real food issues.

I want her to eat meat, and even more so fish, as I've been led to believe it's good for a growing child

I think it's more about the protein than it having to be meat in particular.

There's nothing wrong with a child being vegetarian as long as you are meeting their nutritional needs.

The truth is most humans don't actually need anywhere near as much protein as some would lead you to believe. You can quite easily meet all the requirements without meat.

You can quite easily meet all the requirements without meat.

Or in my case overdo it.

Scales confirm no protein deficiency.
Signed,
Fat Vegan

I think it's hard when kids are fussy. My dd (age 10) is quite sensitive and loves animals and I can see her edging towards not wanting to eat them, which is fair enough. However she is also quite a fussy eater! I have said to her (in general terms) that it's entirely possible to be vegetarian - but that you have to like eating vegetables and beans (which I do, but dd not so much!). I have then left it in her court!

@NuttyinNotts

I don't really understand why you'd want her to continue to eat processed meat if possible? It sounds like she's cut out the kind of meat that some people try and claim is necessary for health and is left with the processed meat that we are specifically told to limit because it has health risks. There's not really any benefit to that over veggie alternatives.

Yes, this - why not swap her onto veggie burgers and sausages? If you can get her on the ones made of beans/vegetables so much the better!

This is vegan rather than vegetarian and aimed at under 5s but should hopefully show you that she can thrive without meat: static1.squarespace.com/static/59f75004f09ca48694070f3b/t/5e56fa31f3d6f227ed61362c/1582758484838/Eating_well_Vegans-Feb_2020_forweb.pdf

Suggestions for things to try:
Veggie fingers (vegetables in them not fish substitute) - supermarket brand or birds eye
Nuggets - birds eye or fry’s
Sausages - Linda McCartney or Richmond
Burgers - goodlife or supermarket own bean burger or make your own

YABU. If she doesn't want to eat meat that is her choice. Don't lie to her

At that age, I was horrified by finding out what meat was but I was not allowed to be vegetarian. I turned veggie as a teen when I decided I could cook my own meals. I always hated eating meat. Please don't disrespect her feelings on this because of her age.

I think you have to tell her what she's eating. Regardless of whether or not she ends up veggie you can't not tell her what it is.

Fwiw, I was veggie as a child and one of my dc has talked about it and I've been supportive, but then she remembers a meat she wants to eat and it goes out the window. She may end up veggie or maybe not, but it definitely isn't something I would choose on hwr behalf (eating meat or not). Totally up to her.

My DD also doesn't like certain textures, but will happily eat dahl, omelette, cheese, and some meat alternatives (some Quorn products) and this has been plenty enough protein. She also will eat fish occasionally - such as salmon or fish n chips battered fish (although she picks a lot of the batter off!)
She's always consumed dairy quite happily too. We can't have any non dairy alternatives in the house due to nut allergies and none of us like oat/rice milks

OP I have heard that a protein deficiency is actually pretty rare, so I think as long as she is eating a balanced diet then don't fret about the lack of meat. I think it's actually really good that she understands what meat is and where it comes from. Too many of us are detached from the reality of it.

My son wanted to be vegetarian but is suspected ADHD and a very picky eater, and I can't allow him to live off Quorn nuggets and other processed fake meats. I myself am vegan so we always have a plant based option available, but he won't even try most of it.

Falafels are great and they come in all sorts of degrees of spiciness from all the supermarkets, and also arancini balls (like Falafels, but mushroom-based). Quorn sausages are surprisingly tasty. Nut roast - yum! Baked potatoes with lots of delicious veggie fillings. Macaroni cheese. Scrambled eggs on toast. I'm not even vegetarian, but there is so much to enjoy without meat!

We're a vegan and vegetarian family - does them no harm. DD was first in sports day and is top of her class!