To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

[reallyagain]

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

@allflownthenest

I have worked from home for years, we only turn the heating on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. I just put jumpers on and wear thick socks!

Do you choose to wfh though? A bit different if people are forced to isn't it?

But is it £660 gas bill or £660 gas and electric? If the latter, that's pretty similar to us in a similar sized house (and it will be higher this year). We have a smart meter and electricity cost seems consistently higher than gas. Maybe it's that?

For six months, that is.

Oh, and I always work from home, have the gas heating on a timer from Sept/Oct onwards but it often doesn't actually go on unless it's actually below the temperature we've set (around 19 tends to be warm enough). Kids at home really bumped up the electricity last year though.

@Changes17

But is it £660 gas bill or £660 gas and electric? If the latter, that's pretty similar to us in a similar sized house (and it will be higher this year). We have a smart meter and electricity cost seems consistently higher than gas. Maybe it's that?

The Op said it is £660 pm Per month

@reallyagain

Do people feel 19 degrees is ok, or what sort of range?

I put air con to 23 degrees in the day, 21 at night. I'm in Aus but I'm a Brit so grew up with the British weather and I just cannot sit in a freezing house all day, dressed in 10 layers. You both need to compromise but I get both sides - sitting in a cold house is miserable but so are large bills. Can he move to a smaller room to work from? To heat the room up quicker.

I’d be freezing at 19 degrees, especially if sitting still.

23 degrees is the best for me.

It's 19 in here and I'm bloody freezing! I've just turned the heating up. It doesn't help that I work at the dining table next to a window solid brick wall but there's not a lot I can do about. Thankfully the radiator is on the same wall so I'll be nice and toasty in a bit!

19 is feeezing when you are just sitting at a desk for hours
Bloody hell, I dont think I could even concentrate on my work which defeats the object.

I believe he is getting on your nerves wfh and the best way to get him scurrying back to a warm office is to freeze him out of home.

Reading between the lines. Your relationship sounds like it’s hit the buffers. Zero care or interest, zero compassion or empathy, total indifference and contempt kills a relationship faster than anything else. I’d say the heating bill is the least of it. You don’t even sound like you like him.

Good god, people like it hot and stuffy! Our hallway is currently 17 degrees but warmer at the front of the house in the morning, then warms up at the back after lunch. We layer up and I'm also refusing the have the heating on all day. I get headaches if it is stuffy/. Heating Is on in the morning for getting up and comes on again mid-afternoon when DS comes home from school

@Otherpeoplesteens - I'm not trying to be funny here, but are you seriously suggesting knocking down houses which don't make the eco grade ? That could be thousands and thousands of houses. Also, how eco is it to knock down lots of houses ? I don't know, maybe it is better to knock them down and start again. Does anyone know which method has the best eco credentials ?

Wtf?! It’s 18.5 degrees in here, I’m sat at a desk and have been since 9:00am and it’s perfectly fine. It really isn’t too cold to work in. 19 is not freezing by any definition of the word.

24 degrees is ridiculous though. 19 perfectly acceptable.

And yes british people go to the Med and sit on beaches at 19C with just a Tshirt on. Locals all think Brist are crazy though and are wearing a jumper and coat. Are you saying they are ALL crazy to feel the cold?

No they’re not crazy, they live in the Mediterranean so are presumably used to warm temperatures. If you’re an adult in Britain who has grown up here 19 isn’t cold.

Our (gas) CH can be controlled three ways.

The CH on/off 24 hour timer
The temperature set on the main thermostat
Individual thermostats on each radiator.

The bill is paid from our joint account.

@gcgirlsrock

19 is feeezing when you are just sitting at a desk for hours Bloody hell, I dont think I could even concentrate on my work which defeats the object.

I believe he is getting on your nerves wfh and the best way to get him scurrying back to a warm office is to freeze him out of home.

Reading between the lines. Your relationship sounds like it’s hit the buffers. Zero care or interest, zero compassion or empathy, total indifference and contempt kills a relationship faster than anything else. I’d say the heating bill is the least of it. You don’t even sound like you like him.

That’s a bit of a stretch.

Although I wouldn’t like anyone who was taking cold showers and wearing shorts but then making me stifle in 24 degree heating indoors at huge monthly cost. Not being able to dress for the conditions is a bit pathetic for an adult.

Having the heating on in winter to the point where you can comfortably have cold showers and wear a t shirt is obviously a lifestyle choice in this case.. An expensive one!

There’s a spectrum with miserly arsehole at one end and totally wasteful at the other, maybe you need to meet somewhere in the middle so you’re both happy with the cost and the temperature?

I would see it as a financial decision you need to compromise on.

Apologies if the following have already been mentioned OP, I've mainly scrolled through your replies after reading the first few pages in full. I am totally in agreement that his behaviour needs to change.

• it's common for some people to feel the cold more than others in offices, and there was a study a while ago where different measures were used to try to improve thermal comfort for those individuals in an energy efficient way that didn't involve whacking the heating up. Successful options included: soft furnishings nearby (rug on the floor beneath the person rather than hard floor), tapestry on the wall next to them; direct heat source (hot water bottle on their lap or to put their feet on); locating them in a south-facing room, blanket to wrap around them.

• or do you think it might be possible to speak to him again, as gently as possible, 'I know this is triggering for both of us....' to present him with a number of options ('you're probably going to hate the idea of most of these, but...') and ask him to select a few to try out over the coming days and report back on. Giving him the chance to see it as more of an experiment than something he has to sign up to forever. Then, if he can grudgingly admit to any of them being acceptable, then that can be adopted.

• it sounds like part of the problem is that your DH isn't open to discussing this and finding a compromise. Could you consider counseling/mediation - to help discuss the issue with a neutral party to help seek a compromise - so that he is less able to cast you as the unreasonable party or to feel he is being vilified? He may feel more able to agree to making an adjustment if it isn't you suggesting it...

• personally, I'd also be putting 'An incovenient truth' on the DVD player and having a discussion about our individual responsibility to do what we can to avoid climate change afterwards...

@RobinPenguins

Wtf?! It’s 18.5 degrees in here, I’m sat at a desk and have been since 9:00am and it’s perfectly fine. It really isn’t too cold to work in. 19 is not freezing by any definition of the word.

It's too cold for some of us if we're just sitting down. Obviously, different people are made differently. Just because one person doesn't need heating, they shouldn't make another suffer. Of course, the colder person should be wearing long trousers and a jumper though they shouldn't need to have gloves, multiple jumpers a hat or a blanket.

I am like your DH and have the heating on a lot to the annoyance of my DH who is like you.

But £660 pm is astronomical. Last winter we paid between £120 and £145 pm for gas. We have a large 4 bedroom house.

You need to get someone in to look at your heating and insulation in its entirety. Because £660pm is ridiculous.

" it's common for some people to feel the cold more than others in offices"

"Successful options included: soft furnishings nearby (rug on the floor beneath the person rather than hard floor), tapestry on the wall next to them; direct heat source (hot water bottle on their lap or to put their feet on); locating them in a south-facing room, blanket to wrap around them."

You can't work on a computer with a blanket around your shoulders. I'll tell you what's proven to work - put the heating on and the too hot people can take off a layer.

Athlebad that's really helpful. There are somethings in the room he works in that could help eg rug on wooden floor. Will try your suggestion

@RobinPenguins

Those of saying we would be cold at a temperature you are very comfortable in…

Do you think we are lying?
Do you think we are all sitting there underdressed?
Do you think we are all pathetic and snowflakes?

Or perhaps we are different to you. With a different level of comfort. Just as people have different pain thresholds; different food tastes; different approaches to risk; I could go on

@LazRaz

It's a difficult question with no easy answers, not least because the current EPC assessment process is deeply flawed, and the question of whether it is better to knock down and rebuild or to keep buggering on in an unheatable home has so many variables - the materials used in the new build, expected lifespan and so on will all affect the carbon footprint of the new build and therefore whether or not the CO2 savings outweigh the build, while the cost-benefit calculation is a whole different matter. I don't think there's a single right answer.

But if you read what isn't in the Heat and Buildings Strategy, what the politicians haven't trumpeted, and what has yet to be decided - especially the role of the banks - then you'll see a fairly clear path to a situation where homes which do not meet energy efficiency standards because of heating, insulation or both will not be securable against a mortgage.

And, in many cases, if this is a result of technical difficulties, that will probably render the property worthless or close to. Sure, a cash buyer might want to buy it and live in cave-like conditions (or, more likely, rent it out), but there have long been proposals to outlaw residential lets on properties with low EPC ratings and they'll struggle to sell it on and so forth.

If a home cannot be upgraded or it would not be cost-effective to do so, and it becomes worthless, then an owner is left with several choices. Knocking it down and rebuilding is one of the more palatable ones.

I have tried to read through this thread.

OP - are you paying nearly £4k for 6 months worth of heating vs £960 over the same time period? - That just sounds insane!!

Have you pointed this out to your DH? What does he say?

He needs to either work out will be cut back or put on a bloody jumper.

Personally, I think 19 degrees is too low, 25 degrees too high - I would settle on 21 or 22 degrees.

There must be a heating engineer on here who would be able to tell if you go over a certain temperature your heating bills exponentially rise.