Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

901 replies

reallyagain · 01/11/2021 22:26

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

OP posts:
Aurea · 02/11/2021 12:34

I'm paying £245 a month fixed and although it's a lot of money, our house is never really that warm.

It's a four bed Victorian house with high ceilings, made of granite and draughty. It's in north Scotland so the weather is colder than in most parts of the UK.

The heating was on for a couple of hours this morning (set at 17oc) and now the temperature in the room I am sitting in has gone down to 15.5 oc so I've put on a small electric fire.

The heating will go on again mid-late afternoon for a few hours and I'll turn the thermostat up to 18 oc.

I'm wearing a jumper, body warmer, slippers and cashmere hand warmers (gorgeous) but still feel chilly. :-(

If we wanted to heat it constantly to 23oc, I can easily see our bill being more than £400 a month.

Stellaris22 · 02/11/2021 12:34

It’s not just the expense this winter. Gas supplies are critical right now, all it takes is one boat to not turn up and we’re likely to see gas rationing.

In a way it’s good the government aren’t warning people, because there’d be panic buying of gas. But at the same time it’s awful that people aren’t being warned. We aren’t using our heating yet because we are in the industry and have seen how fragile the supply is for this winter.

reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:35

Often I get it, but in any other setting except for the house he's too warm when I'm cold

OP posts:
RobinPenguins · 02/11/2021 12:36

It's too cold for some of us if we're just sitting down. Obviously, different people are made differently. Just because one person doesn't need heating, they shouldn't make another suffer. Of course, the colder person should be wearing long trousers and a jumper though they shouldn't need to have gloves, multiple jumpers a hat or a blanket.

No, he shouldn’t be needing gloves, multiple jumpers, blankets and hats if it can be helped. If he needs all that at 19 degrees there’s a health issue.

Wearing anything even remotely weather appropriate sounds like it would be a good start in this case though. It’s insane that people are calling the OP miserly for not wanting it to be 24 degrees inside at huge monthly cost.

Now understanding why the environment is so fucked tbh.

DontWantTheRivalry · 02/11/2021 12:37

I love a warm house!!!

It drives my husband mad Grin

Most mornings, if it’s a day I’m at home, I turn it on the minute he leaves the house Grin

I have the thermostat set at 24 degrees and it’s perfect!!

RobinPenguins · 02/11/2021 12:38

[quote Oftenithinkaboutit]@RobinPenguins

Those of saying we would be cold at a temperature you are very comfortable in…

Do you think we are lying?
Do you think we are all sitting there underdressed?
Do you think we are all pathetic and snowflakes?

Or perhaps we are different to you. With a different level of comfort. Just as people have different pain thresholds; different food tastes; different approaches to risk; I could go on[/quote]
I believe you, I’m just surprised. If you are genuinely freezing in appropriate clothing at 19 degrees then life must be very hard and I’d be considering whether there are health reasons behind it.

Magicpaintbrush · 02/11/2021 12:40

I WFH - I also have Raynaud's disease and feel the cold terribly, so if the temperature drops below 21 degrees I do get very cold very quickly. In cold weather the heating goes on at about 4.20am because my DH does early shifts so the bathroom would be freezing for him otherwise, and the heating goes off at 10.30pm. I would have the main living area (where I work all day) radiators on, not necessarily any others. But if the weather gets super freezing I might pop the bedroom radiators on for an hour here or there to take the edge off and to stop them from becoming damp - we noticed some damp in the bedrooms when the weather was cold but we were holding off putting the heating on, so we do need to turn it on sometimes to avoid this. Bathroom radiator is on the lowest setting all day as well. In addition I do layer up - currently wearing a vest, long sleeved t-shirt, jumper over the top, wrist/hand warmer things, and a shawl over the top, also jeans and fluffy slipper boots - attractive or what. If I get super cold I have to put my thick dressing gown on as well over the top of my clothes, which I hate doing but sometimes have to in cold weather.

If I get too cold my hands stiffen and I cannot work - I'm an illustrator and I can't draw if my hands are freezing.

Hot water goes on twice a day for a few hours. I am shit hot at turning unnecessary lights off - we only have two lamps on in the living room when it's dark, the rest of the house lights are off unless visiting the loo etc. The level of lighting in our house in the evenings is dickensian, we also put on candles. Also very careful with water usage.

TempleofZoom · 02/11/2021 12:40

@reallyagain

Often I get it, but in any other setting except for the house he's too warm when I'm cold
Do you think this is about control Op? What was his role like in the office? Was he in charge?

Hes being really immature here, no one expects him to be cold but walking around in shorts with the heating on full blast is teenage behaviour as is disregarding monthly bills of £660.
Its like spending excessive amounts on food which goes in the bin and shrugging.
Hes ( in transactional analysis terms) taking on the role of child and forcing you to be the adult .
He then argues with you.Hmm

dgirluk · 02/11/2021 12:40

Have you looked at things like Evohome, Nest etc. - that would allow him to have his office at a much higher temperature than other rooms if desired, and run on its own timetable.

We use Evohome - it supports up to 12 zones; each with its own thermostat and timetable. It's great! So in the day our offices are heated, at breakfast/lunch the kitchen/eating area are heated, in the evening the lounge and kitchen, then just before bed the bedrooms get warm. You can also boost each area if you want to, on demand. We both work from home - in the room my DH works in he has it about 18 degrees, whereas mine is about 21/21.5 and I still get cold sometimes and boost it up to 22. The bedroom in the evening is about 18 and in the morning about 20. It's pretty flexible and was about £1.1k for all the bits (controller, TRVs etc. for a 4 bed house), plus a sparky to fit something for about £100.

That might be something to look at to help reduce the bill, so you aren't heating the entire house just to keep his office warm (on the assumption you aren't going to want to sit in a sauna, and he feels the cold). I suspect it would pay for itself relatively quickly, if you're currently heating the whole house when just using a couple of rooms during the day.

We also upgraded our windows for about £500/window to modern PVC double glazing about 2 years ago which made a big difference to heating (and cooling in the summer). And again - at £660/month it might net you big savings.

FWIW our combined elec/gas bill is about £120/month although going up as our provider went bust. That's 2 of us WFH all year (at the moment) in different rooms, electric underfloor heating in the en suite, heating on quite a lot of the year because it's a cool house facing N under trees.

reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:41

Temple I dont think it's about control but I do agree he's pushing me into a parent role by refusing to address the problem

OP posts:
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:42

I'll have a look at that dgirl thanks

OP posts:
Rosebel · 02/11/2021 12:44

Our house is always like an icebox. Our bill has just gone up fixed at £130 a month. My husband doesn't feel the cold and refuses to have the heating on for more than an hour.
We have a 1 year old though and I do put the heating on when it's just the 2 of us. Yes it's expensive but it's bloody cold too.

Hankunamatata · 02/11/2021 12:44

If your radiators have thermostat valves you can turn each radiator down

TempleofZoom · 02/11/2021 12:44

@reallyagain

Temple I dont think it's about control but I do agree he's pushing me into a parent role by refusing to address the problem
I meant hes feeling a loss of control, depending on what his role was in the office and so its translated into him being a knob about this. His behaviour is really extreme, I dont know many people who feel the cold who wear shorts or take cold showers!
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:47

He's very into his comforts and has never needed to concede on these, which is a factor. Being a mother and a single one I've more experience on that front 😀

OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 12:49

How long have you been married?
How old was he when you married?

DrCoconut · 02/11/2021 12:49

You're not paying for a neighbour as well are you? This happened to me.

TempleofZoom · 02/11/2021 12:50

@reallyagain

He's very into his comforts and has never needed to concede on these, which is a factor. Being a mother and a single one I've more experience on that front 😀
Oh so hes really selfish? Is he selfish in other ways? £660 a month is more than my mortgage was! He needs a kick up the backside and a massive reality check. Im not sure I could be married to someone like this.
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:50

Don't think so Dr!
He was in his thirties (to previous poster)

OP posts:
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:51

He's not selfish he's actually very kind

OP posts:
gcgirlsrock · 02/11/2021 12:54

Why not be kind back and suggest a compromise? Poor sod

reallyagain · 02/11/2021 12:55

Be kind by doing what gcgirl? Going without food/defaulting on the mortgage?

OP posts:
thevassal · 02/11/2021 12:55

£660? That is insane! I live in a 2bed semi and mine was about £30 a month last year and that was with wfh every day.

Can you work out how much this year would be if you used the same amount based on current prices? I'm assuming it would be about £800odd. I'm failing to understand how anyone with a brain would rather spend that on heating rather than just sticking a jumper on and going on holiday several times a year, spending on your hobby or whatever you enjoy!

Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 12:56

How long married?

And before marriage when he was single and in charge of own finances, he presumably was one that liked to be warm with little thought to cost? Or did you used to go over to his and be uncomfortably hot?

userxx · 02/11/2021 12:56

@Viviennemary

We like our house warm. I hate a cold house. It's miserable. Cut back on something else.
I'm the other way around. Being too warm makes me miserable.