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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

901 replies

reallyagain · 01/11/2021 22:26

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

OP posts:
TravelLost · 02/11/2021 11:00

@RobinPenguins

19 degrees outside I’d be wearing a jumper and my spring coat for sure

You’re a serious outlier on this. 19 for most is warm summer weather.

It's not the ame to be ioutside, in the sun, moving around and sitting down at a desk inside.

At 19C in the summer I will be cold too if I am not moving etc...

And yes british people go to the Med and sit on beaches at 19C with just a Tshirt on. Locals all think Brist are crazy though and are wearing a jumper and coat. Are you saying they are ALL crazy to feel the cold?

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 11:00

No not skinny, about 14 stone

OP posts:
LittleMysSister · 02/11/2021 11:01

19c is a good temperature for me. I'll be layered up but the air is warm enough at 19c+ I think.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 11:02

Has he said he’s fine with £650 a month??

How did you both used to get to work pre covid?

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 11:04

He doesnt think £660 is ok he just seems to be burying his head in the sand about it

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 11:05

He previously drove 2 miles to the office

OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 11:05

And you’ve always wfh?

Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 11:06

I honestly don’t see how this is going to be resolved
It’s October
Start of winter
I’d start researching researching solicitors op because this is where this is heading

Abraxan · 02/11/2021 11:08

I refuse to be cold in my own home if I can possibly help it.

Growing up without a central heating throughout and draughty windows means I hate it now.

It makes my joints hurt. Once cold I struggle to warm up for ages. I can't sleep if I am too cold.

I also hate wearing thick bulky clothes indoors and hate the feel of thick socks on the very dry skin on my feet. Layering up is fine for cold days outside but I don't want that in my home.

I would offer to pay more to ensure I am not cold. It's just not worth the discomfort it brings.

tipOver · 02/11/2021 11:09

YANBU. I think we can trace back the melting ice caps specifically to your husband. If you can't afford it you can't afford it, and it sounds like he's not trying to make any changes - that's irresponsible.

TokyoDreaming · 02/11/2021 11:14

I don't know what people are smoking but 19 degrees is not a warm summers day, it's an warm spring day but certainly not summer.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 02/11/2021 11:17

My dh complains I have the window open at night in the winter yet refuses to wear more than underpants to bed. put some fucking pyjamas on then you wont be cold!

Or close the fucking window, then you won’t be cold.

My spouse likes to have the fan on at night. The noise is soothing, apparently. I suggested we take it in turns. So that’s what we decided on when we got married.

We’re having the fan on for the first twenty years, and then it’s my turn.

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 11:19

It's equally not thermals and woolly jumpers either though is it

OP posts:
Teddansononmyown · 02/11/2021 11:19

It's currently 15 degrees inside my house and, as its just me, I'm wearing a base layer, jumper, fingerless gloves, slippers and have an electric blanket while I work. Our house never retains heat so the only way for it to stay warm is if it is on constantly, which we really can't afford. It drives DP crazy but he can either choose to have heating on when he wants it all the time, or we can have a holiday next year. We simply can't afford both and as there are ways to mitigate the cold with ekecrric blanket etc., it's just about getting on with it.
I cannot wait until we move and the new house keeps the heat!

Gwenhwyfar · 02/11/2021 11:20

@saleorbouy

My Mum always said put on a jumper it's already paid for..... Buy him some good merino base layers and then he won't need the heating on. Have you got individual thermostatic valves (TRV) on your radiators at least then you can reduce the temps in unoccupied rooms.
Putting on a jumper won't warm up your hands and you can't work in gloves. It also won't do anything for your feet, which will get cold whatever you're wearing if you're sedentary.
Gwenhwyfar · 02/11/2021 11:22

"And yes british people go to the Med and sit on beaches at 19C with just a Tshirt on. Locals all think Brist are crazy though and are wearing a jumper and coat. Are you saying they are ALL crazy to feel the cold?"

19C in the summer really is hotter than in the winter though. I'm not comfortable inside in the winter unless it's at least 21 and that's with wearing layers. It's not the same as 21 in the summer.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 02/11/2021 11:22

@reallyagain

It's equally not thermals and woolly jumpers either though is it
For you But sitting still at a desk in 18.6 degrees wearing a “light thermal under a jumper” I’d be chilly

Neither of us are wrong
Neither of us are right

Gwenhwyfar · 02/11/2021 11:23

@Teddansononmyown

It's currently 15 degrees inside my house and, as its just me, I'm wearing a base layer, jumper, fingerless gloves, slippers and have an electric blanket while I work. Our house never retains heat so the only way for it to stay warm is if it is on constantly, which we really can't afford. It drives DP crazy but he can either choose to have heating on when he wants it all the time, or we can have a holiday next year. We simply can't afford both and as there are ways to mitigate the cold with ekecrric blanket etc., it's just about getting on with it. I cannot wait until we move and the new house keeps the heat!
I'd just cry all the time if I had to live like that. It's the kind of poverty lifestyle we shouldn't have to have in the 21C.
Gwenhwyfar · 02/11/2021 11:25

@Abraxan

I refuse to be cold in my own home if I can possibly help it.

Growing up without a central heating throughout and draughty windows means I hate it now.

It makes my joints hurt. Once cold I struggle to warm up for ages. I can't sleep if I am too cold.

I also hate wearing thick bulky clothes indoors and hate the feel of thick socks on the very dry skin on my feet. Layering up is fine for cold days outside but I don't want that in my home.

I would offer to pay more to ensure I am not cold. It's just not worth the discomfort it brings.

I agree.

Unless the cost would literally kill me, I'll have the heating on.

Last year, after wfh in the kitchen I would then hang around in the kitchen as well to avoid putting heating on in the living room. I now think I was being a silly martyr over this and will put both heaters on if I'm going into both rooms. (I even pay a fixed price for heating, but still did this last year)

allflownthenest · 02/11/2021 11:26

I have worked from home for years, we only turn the heating on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. I just put jumpers on and wear thick socks!

HoikingUpMyBigGirlPantss · 02/11/2021 11:29

I think you need to have a conversation about the bills with your DH as I wonder whether its really about the heating or is something else is going on in your relationship?
I feel the cold and was brought up in a draughty house where the heating was put on twice a day for an hour from 1st november and switched off 1 march, whatever the weather! Permafrost all the time! I'm not quite as bad as that but conscious that bills will rise (and only have 1 income) so do "layer up" and nag the DCs to put socks and jumpers on as they usually waft around in cotton tshirts and shorts year round.
I actually bought a lockable thermostat cover and may have turned into my DFWink and bought my youngest DC a softee heated blanket for Xmas!

Gwenhwyfar · 02/11/2021 11:34

@reallyagain

Often do you feel uncomfortable wearing thermals and jumpers outside in the summer when it's circa 19 degrees?
You'd be moving around though wouldn't you. You need higher heating when sedentary. 19 degrees is OK for the bedroom hallways, etc. but if I'm sitting down somewhere I need 21.
RandomLondoner · 02/11/2021 11:37

So it's been clarified that it's £660 for six months. Let's say £600 of that is gas. At a gas price of 3p per kwh (which should be higher than the actual price) I make that 6*600/0.03 = 120,000kwh. A random web site tells me household gas usage typically varies from 8,000kwh for a low-usage household to 17,000kwh for a high usage household, with 12,000 being medium. So the gas usage for six months was exactly ten times what a medium household uses in a whole year?

I'm still not sure that I believe consumption can be that high. Not even if you set the heating to 30 degrees and left all the windows open. But I admit I haven't tried it.

All that aside, there's an easy way to resolve this. Get a digital thermometer (thermostat settings aren't precise measurements of temperatures achieved) and set the heating to achieve 22 degrees. That is the target temperature for offices, it's what's been officially determined as the best compromise temperature to suit everyone.

Teddansononmyown · 02/11/2021 11:38

@Gwenhwyfar you do get used to being permanently cold. When DD and I moved here, we came from a boiling hot top flat so I'd honestly never experienced cold like it. Over the years, we've adapted but I genuinely can't wait to be rid of this house and into something that is well insulated. I'm convinced the cavity wall Insulation has failed but the governing body won't accept it or investigate as there has to be significant water ingress.
I redid the double glazing, got more insulation put in the eaves and under the living room, put in a new radiator etc. The reality is that, without going into fuel poverty, we have to accept that we will be cold.

Otherpeoplesteens · 02/11/2021 11:42

@Teddansononmyown

It's currently 15 degrees inside my house and, as its just me, I'm wearing a base layer, jumper, fingerless gloves, slippers and have an electric blanket while I work. Our house never retains heat so the only way for it to stay warm is if it is on constantly, which we really can't afford. It drives DP crazy but he can either choose to have heating on when he wants it all the time, or we can have a holiday next year. We simply can't afford both and as there are ways to mitigate the cold with ekecrric blanket etc., it's just about getting on with it. I cannot wait until we move and the new house keeps the heat!
I'd just cry all the time if I had to live like that. It's the kind of poverty lifestyle we shouldn't have to have in the 21C.

This is not about poverty per se, it's about housing that is simply not fit for purpose any more. Freezing leaky homes might have once been the norm, but dying young of tuberculosis because of it was also the norm at the same time.

No sane person still uses typewriters, spirit duplicators, semaphore, Penny Farthings, the horse and cart, and so on. We've replaced them with things that work to 21st century expectations. So why do we cling to housing like this?

Hopefully the recent heat pump strategy and future policy to go with it, such as banking changes, will render unheatable homes like this worthless so that they're knocked down and replaced.

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