To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

[reallyagain]

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

Unless he’s utterly financially inept
Surely he thinks that the family can afford it comfortably?

We dont talk about it every hour I'm in a different room I'm and we're both too busy for that

@reallyagain

Often do you feel uncomfortable wearing thermals and jumpers outside in the summer when it's circa 19 degrees?

19 degrees outside I’d be wearing a jumper and my spring coat for sure

@reallyagain

We dont talk about it every hour I'm in a different room I'm and we're both too busy for that

But surely one of you cold (dh) or one of you angry (you)?

Autumn I've already said several times the £660pm was specifically incurred over last winter

You want to charge your husband more for having the heating on 🤣. You remind me of my tight arse uni housemate who used to sneak downstairs and turn the heating off in the middle of winter. It was freezing to the point you could see your breath inside. She was very well off funnily but was just raised like that. She told us there'd be frost on the inside of her window at home but her parents wouldn't put the heating on.

Unless you are really struggling to pay your bills just put the heating on (if it's cold out). Failing that buy him an electric heater for the room he works in. If it was just me working from home I'd use an electric heater, if both of us are home the heating is on. We don't charge one another though. I'm on mat leave at the moment, the heating has been on since I got up at 6, I refuse to be cold.

Often I'm really too busy in my job to fester over any of it all day

There’s no way Wim Hof has his heating at 24 degrees. Sitting in a stuffy hot house surely negates the supposed health benefits of the showers?

19 degrees outside
I’d be wearing a jumper and my spring coat for sure

You’re a serious outlier on this. 19 for most is warm summer weather.

Have you tried innocently asking if a 25-30 degree house undoes the benefit of his cold shower? Would a lower temperature prolong the benefits throughout the day? You can google the benefits of cold showers then innocently ask / comment on how the overheated house does the opposite. He's obviously not going to listen if you say it, so just sew the seeds to make it his idea.

IMO it's environmentally irresponsible to walk around in a tshirt and shorts in winter. Same goes for wearing hot clothes in summer and then blaring the aircon. First option should always be seasonally appropriate clothing - so warmer clothes and a jumper in winter, warmer bedding etc. Once appropriately attired, then heating can be used if needed.

So he thinks the family can afford it and he’s comfortable with that amount being spent?

@RobinPenguins

19 degrees outside I’d be wearing a jumper and my spring coat for sure

You’re a serious outlier on this. 19 for most is warm summer weather.

Not in the south east!!

I work from home and I have it on for a few hours in the morning to warm the place up and then a few hours in the evening when I'm moving around the house but turn it off about an hour before before as it's not necessary once I'm under the duvet -- and during the day the main heating is off and I just have a little electric heater under my desk if I'm getting chilly.

This is exactly what I do. With the addition of an electric underblanket when it gets really cold, so I'm not getting into a cold bed.

I can't sit in a cold room and work, even with gloves, I just can't concentrate and my hands hurt, so I just heat the room I'm in, and even then, by putting the heater under my desk I mainly just heat under the table and my lower body.

If I wore what I'm wearing now outside in the summer in 19 degrees I'd look like a real ass. 😁

Unless you are really struggling to pay your bills just put the heating on (if it's cold out)

I'd imagine most would struggle to pay 600quid every cold month for heating.

Even in the south east! People fly to the Med in October and sit on beaches in 19 degrees.

We are only electric but our most recent bill was £96 just for one month, with only about 1hr of electric radiator on.

Costs are going to be sky-high this winter, I'd definitely sit him down and ask him to seriously consider not having it on quite so much.

Have you put meter readings in lately? That seems extortionate!

@reallyagain

Often do you feel uncomfortable wearing thermals and jumpers outside in the summer when it's circa 19 degrees?

Everyone is different. As I said at 19C, I'm cold, even with thermal underlayer, sleepers etc. I cold enough that hands and feet are cold (despite the sleeprs), my nose is cold as if I was outside in winter. You could check my lower back and find it cold too (despite the layers. That's usually a thermal, a jumper and thick cardigan on top for me).

So there is certainly ot such a thign as 'if its 19C you HAVE TO be feeling warm or comfortable'.

HOWEVER, the issue is NOT that your dh is feeling the cold. It's the fcat he refuses to see that nearly £700 permonth to spend on heating when you should be around £200 isn't manageable and he has to be part of the solution.

I'm wondering. How much involvemnet does he have with the household finances and how savvy is he on financial matters?
I'm gettng the feeling that you sorted out all the stuff with BG and somehow he feels detached from it all iyswim

OP, I don't know how you personally can cope with living in a house that's that hot. As you already know, £660pm is ridiculous, that would cover our food, gas, electric, water, council tax, petrol and more!

Looking at it another way, is DH generally ok in himself? Being cold can be a sign of hypothyroidism, poor circulation.

The problem partly was BG was in his name and he's not arsed about keeping on top about these things - whereas eg insurances in my name and I'm on top of them. Like I say I've now moved energy to my name so it's kept on top of

I really feel the cold and layer up as much as possible but I really need warm air to feel warm. I am miserable and cannot think when I am cold. I would pay more for the heating if it was just to benefit me in a relationship.

But it isn't 660x12? Is it? You used to pay 2k/ year. Now wfh you are alone saving on time and money on commuting. Why not use that saving towards heating money?

You didn't tell us your breakdown or rather a total of let say your bill Oct 2020-Sept 2021? You just mentioned £660 which is what? The most expensive month so fat? Average of how many winter months?
That's why your question won't be answered by anyone. It's OK to vent but not to drip your info as you please.

Fere I've already addressed these points

So he knows the cost
And he’s ok with it?

Out of interest, is he very skinny?
I’m very skinny. My sister is overweight. We adore each other. But this time of year… we can’t be in the same room as each other. I’m either shivering or she’s sweating!