To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

[reallyagain]

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

Plus I was only calling it and abusive and controlling because apparently wanting the heating off for some part of the day is abusive to her DH because he needs to feel warm all day. with no regard to the fact that people find different temps tolerable.

Someone said it was abusive to try to prevent him turning the heating on. Well, then it's abusive to prevent his DW from turning the heating off if she's too warm.

I would consider 19 outside to be tshirt weather therefore it is plenty warm indoors in winter @PlanDeRaccordement

One or both of you need to go back to the office. This is doing your marriage no good at all.
You are coming across as a miserly Scrooge willing to ignore the basic fundamental need to keep warm.
Your dh is coming across as a careless spendthrift.
You don’t sound compatible, because every couple In the northern hemisphere has to work out a comfortable happy medium. Behind the heating issue is a deeper problem, you don’t seem to care enough for each other and so casually get the big guns out - you will pay the bill pr else. No word of compromise at all.

* He has it on 24 all day OP hasn’t said all day, just that he put it up to that this morning.*

It's ridiculously high. I've had my windows open all morning.

Like I said, they are both going to have to feel uncomfortable temperature wise to reach a compromise.

No we didn't submit monthly readings which was clearly an issue, so I'm now doing that. Although like mentioned below, BG haven't provided us with a bill despite many complaints and requests since summer so we've no idea where we stand with that. They're blaming a system upgrade issue over the summer. I've moved supplier now but need that bill from them

It was 1c here with a frost so understandably we also turned up the heating this morning, shoot me now 😂

I have suggested he goes back to the office because I can't afford for him to work at home and run up these bills

It's impossible to know anything about OPs bill as you could pay £660 for say 3 months because of arrears having only paid £50 a month for the rest of the year, the £660 could be a red herring.

OP this is insane, we live in 6 bed 4000 sq ft Edwardian house with high ceilings, large windows and that only costs just over 4K per year gas/electric. I work from home too.

It is very well insulated though - the whole of the roof and under the floorboards etc.

No red herrings. It's calculated using the total charges incurred over that period

About five years ago we started getting extortionate bills, it turned out our house was listed as a commercial business. It took two years to sort it out - endless phone calls and emails. Could it be something like this?

Pushing him to go back to the office to keep warm is going to create a great deal of resentment.
Op do you even care about your marriage? You sound so angry. Is this really about the heating?

@TuftyMarmoset

I would consider 19 outside to be tshirt weather therefore it is plenty warm indoors in winter *@PlanDeRaccordement*

Agree. And that is what OP said the heat is usually set to when he turns it on and he only wants it on in the rooms he is in. She just wants it off in the whole house for most of the time.

Of course with the war of her turning off and then him turning it on 4+ times a day, and having “endless rows” they’re going to get frustrated so I’m not surprised he put it on 24 one morning because he was probably thinking he needs a blast of warmth because OP will notice quickly and go turn the heat off again.

Oh my goodness, £660!? Do you change suppliers every year? I’ve found that’s the only way to keep them reasonable.

We are now in NI which has far less supplier competition unfortunately but still spend under £200 for gas, electricity and oil (oil CH) for a massive 5 bed, 4 reception room 70s house with 70s radiators! And this includes both working from home every day!

That is a really crazy heating bill. We pay about £150 per month and I have always worked from home. I like it warm, too, though I do obviously wear warm clothes on a cold day. What temperature do you have your thermostat set to? Ours is at 22 in the evenings and 18 in the day. If I get cold in my office, I have an oil-fired radiator to put on during the day which is fine (and cheap to run, and doesn't involve heating the whole house).

I'm angry that despite last winters bill DH does t think he needs to change the way we use the heating, that's madness to me, we can't afford it and

@reallyagain

No red herrings. It's calculated using the total charges incurred over that period

What’s the square footage? Is it terraced/semi detached?

Gcgirl where did I say I was pushing him to go back to the office? I said I'd suggested it

We've yet to have the heating on as the house is well insulated. Is there any way you can get extra insulation added to your house? I know there is an alternative for cavity wall insulation for older houses. However I think warm, nice quality base layers make it much easier to have the heating on but down low when necessary. Also, buy make sure jumpers are wool as opposed to acrylic/nylon etc.

Having heated both an older house and a newer house, I definitely think the old house cost more to heat to a decent temperature, so much heat was lost through the walls I'm afraid.

Are you end of terrace or detached ?
Do you have decent loft insulation ?
Are your windows single glazed ?
Are you on a smart meter ?, we had issues with ours and ended up with a bill of £800 just for gas, despite paying monthly or so we thought.

Terrace c1400 sq ft

@reallyagain

I'm angry that despite last winters bill DH does t think he needs to change the way we use the heating, that's madness to me, we can't afford it and

But if there's an error with you bill, then no matter how many changes he makes the cost will still be astronomical.

I could not stand a cold house either. I agree with another poster about a small heater.. he would have to move it from each room or something.

What were your bills previously like in the winter? £660 a month is a ridiculous amount. We are in a 3 bed terrace and our's are just over £70 a month with BG. Your heating must be on constantly to warrant a bill that high and even then surely the thermostat would kick in every so often and turn it off?

@reallyagain I cannot believe your bills!! (As in, I do believe you but OH MY GOODNESS!!) 4 bedroom house here. We pay £31 per month for gas and electricity in the summer and £50 per month in the winter. I appreciate it might be slightly higher this year with the price rises.

I’m with Bulb who I really like. Pm me if you want a code to switch to save us both £50!

I think your situation would drive me nuts. I absolutely hate paying more than I need to for utilities. We all have electric blankets and we all layer up. Nice warm bath before a pre-heated bed.

I’m looking after a friends house this week and the heating is on 24/7. I immediately asked her if she’d like me to turn it down and she said no, she likes the house to always be warm. They’re away for 10 days!! I can’t get my head around this sort of thinking. Bonkers.

@whenwillthemadnessend

Ours is a huge house and it's no where near that amount. I have mine on 90 mins in morning and 2/3 hours evening heats to 19'c That's fine for us.

My house isn't huge but I have the heating on the same amount of time really and at about 18/19 degrees.

I work in the kitchen/diner which has tiled floors so the cold really comes up through the floor. When it's v cold I wear thermal socks and slippers and if I need it, a hot water bottle under my feet. I also have some cashmere wrist/handwarmers i can work in. I find if my hands and feet are warm enough then the rest of me is ok.

I like the house and towels to be warm when I get up and in the evening while I'm more likely to be sat around but in the day I find it easier to keep warm. I am a single parent and just can't afford to have the heating on all day just for me when the kids are out at school.