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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

901 replies

reallyagain · 01/11/2021 22:26

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

OP posts:
Obecalp · 02/11/2021 08:03

Imagine if this was reversed: my husband won't let me have the heating on so I have to work in the cold all day and go to bed in a cold house.

People would be screaming LTB !!

So is she supposed to suffer in a house that is too hot, too expensive gas bills? It goes both ways surely - "DH won't let me turn the heating off so..." Hmm

PloughedMeadow · 02/11/2021 08:04

I am in a four bed victorian house. Have had roof space insulated and an insulated single floor back extension. We both work from home and our monthly bill is £160 for gas and electricity. Thermostat is set for 19 degrees and heating on morning (so warm when we get up) and in the evening (goes off an hour before we go to bed so still warm). It goes on during the day if very cold. We do wear warm clothes- sweater for DH and cardigan for me. I feel the cold and have an electric plug in heater for when I sit down to work if it is very cold.

Obecalp · 02/11/2021 08:05

it’s not nice to be freezing cold op. YABVU unless you are going bankrupt.

But it's not nice to be boiling hot either?

They should be able to find a a middle-ground here.

titchy · 02/11/2021 08:06

You must have a dodgy meter. I live in a 5 bed detached with crap insulation and our bill is £170 a month.

That's your priority, not whether you or dh ABU.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 02/11/2021 08:06

I like the heating on but 24 degrees is ridiculous! I’m a freeze arse and it has to be the depths of a freezing winter for me to go above 21 degrees.

How old are your windows? Is your loft insulated? I’d also look at replacing your radiators. Good luck!

Obecalp · 02/11/2021 08:08

I also find it oddly controlling (and abusive) preventing your husband from feeling comfortable and insisting he stays cold all day.

Is it not controlling (and abusive) to take no consideration for the fact that his wife is overheating all day? I think people who feel the cold very easily have no idea how frustrating and debilitating it can be to be hot and stuffy in your own home, with no fresh clean air. I couldn't work in his house with the heating on 24!! Is it not also controlling to refuse to pay more when he is the one contributing to such an extortionate bill...

bewilderedhedgehog · 02/11/2021 08:08

sorry I haven't had time to read all the posts, but if you have a smart meter you should get it checked. Some were incorrectly installed and this could be your problem. Apologies if either you don't have a smart meter or someone has already said this!

Lasair · 02/11/2021 08:09

Sorry just saw it’s 600 a month! What the hell? I’m in a 3 bed and heating on all the time and it’s not that high at all!!

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 08:09

Enjoying the loft is insulated but will see if it can be improved. Some of the windows are new but not all of them

OP posts:
user564398 · 02/11/2021 08:10

You seem to have little idea what is on the bill so how do you know it is the heating causing the very large bill, it could be excess use of an electric cooker, shower, etc. you don't seem to even know how much of the bill is gas.

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 08:12

User where did I say I didn't know how much was electric and how much gas? I went through it with a tooth comb at the time and again in choosing the new supplier like I've already said. The problem was the gas

OP posts:
Obecalp · 02/11/2021 08:12

I’m with your husband, there’s no way I’m not heating my home

So there is no middle-ground with you? You just think about your own comfort. He has it on 24 all day! Surely there is a way where they can both have some comfort, either by having it down lower, or by turning it off for a little bit. Both DH and DW need to feel a little bit of discomfort each day to accommodate the other feeling comfortable.

user564398 · 02/11/2021 08:14

So gas must be between £500-600 a month if electric is an average amount, that is a phenomenal amount for gas

2catsandhappy · 02/11/2021 08:15

This is the hill he wants to die on. Put the gas bill in his name.
I understand your frustration.

Original poster
reallyagain · 02/11/2021 08:18

2cats Ive actually transferred it to my name so I can easily access and keep on top of it. I'm going to input regular meter readings so we can be running up a problem we're unaware of heading into winter. He just doesn't care enough to do any of that.

OP posts:
Couchbettato · 02/11/2021 08:19

We had an engineer out for our boiler who said keeping the boiler on a steady temperature all winter rather than switching it off and on was the cheapest and most beneficial way to use the boiler as it's not having to cool down and heat up over and over which is what uses the most electricity or gas.

SlugRose · 02/11/2021 08:21

@reallyagain

Pink I agree with you but as you can see from my posts that's not the case here. He wants to wear just 1 light layer all winter eg T-shirt or shirt type style
He needs to move somewhere warmer if he wants to do that
Whinge · 02/11/2021 08:21

@reallyagain If it's in your name then why can't you provide a breakdown of the bill?

£660 a month for the property you live in just isn't possible, unless there's an error. Confused

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/11/2021 08:22

Astonished at the posters that think 19C is “boiling hot” and the DH is being “abusive” by “overheating all day”.

What planet do you live on that 19C is anything other than slightly warm?

SlugRose · 02/11/2021 08:23

I'd ask him to cover the whole of the heating if he's not willing to act like an adult over it

Peaseblossum22 · 02/11/2021 08:24

That is a massive amount of gas , make sure you are not paying someone else’s supply especially if you are terraced. We had this situation in one of the houses we own at work , it turned out that the meter was registering the house next doors gas as well 😮. I am also aware of a situation where this was done deliberately, a supply was diverted to avoid payment , the perpetrator went to prison.

Obecalp · 02/11/2021 08:26

Astonished at the posters that think 19C is “boiling hot” and the DH is being “abusive” by “overheating all day”.

She said he puts it on 24....

But yes, I find 19 degrees not to be my ideal temp. I don't like to feel warm by warm air, I like to feel cool air and wrap up. I can't do that when the house is warm. DP likes a warm house though (hot enough that I can't do housework without sweating) -- when he puts it on I just disappear to a different room and open a window.

TuftyMarmoset · 02/11/2021 08:27

@Couchbettato Any savings you made there would quickly be outweighed by the energy you’re paying for that’s escaping your home. The only argument for why you should keep the heating on all day is due to condensation www.moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/energy-saving-myths/
We don’t have ours on all day and our bills are very low.

LoislovesStewie · 02/11/2021 08:27

We live in a Victorian 4 bed, mid-terrace. If the heating is on at 19C we are all happy. It feels perfectly OK to me and I hate being cold. And we live on the coast in Yorkshire, so it can get quite cold in winter.

DemocracyofHypocrisy · 02/11/2021 08:27

He has it on 24 all day OP hasn’t said all day, just that he put it up to that this morning.

OP did you submit monthly readings with BG?