I had a day annual leave today didn’t tell my family

[Mylittlesecret10021]

I had some of half term off last week. I wfh and my other half goes into the office so leaves 8am and is back around 6.30-7pm. My mum usually see’s my nana so will sometimes pop in for a tea during the week at random times. I just wanted a day to myself to do whatever I wanted without expectations or interruptions. I thought if my mum knew she would defiantly be over and I couldn’t use the excuse of being busy at work. I ended up doing some cleaning and tidying, long dog walk, some shopping and watching the end of the bbc drama showtrial. It was bliss. Is it bad I didn’t mention in advance? It just didn’t come up in conversation and tbh my other half does a sport on a Monday evening so only seen him for 5 mins and he didn’t ask how my day was.

I do this about 4x a year. I’ll tell my husband about it afterwards, but not before. Never feel guilty!

I am thinking of doing this. I would take myself to the seaside

I’ve done this before. Glad you had a nice day!

I don't know anyone that doesn't do this once in a while!

If people know, your mum will want to call over for a cuppa, your dh will ask you to run to the bank for him, your kids will want picking up early for some silly reason just because they know you're off, everyone will expect a special dinner on the table when they get home because what else would you be doing with your free time and suddenly your day off is more bother than a day at work.

The only exception to that is if you get free childcare from grandparents.

I've done this too. It's delightful.

I binged on Showtrial today as well. I had a hectic week last week looking after GC and some visitors so I had a day off (madness as I'm retired so supposed to have all days to myself) and I bet you needed it as much as I did.

I had cheesecake as well. Lots of it.

I'm going on holiday alone for the second time this year, and I keep getting asked if I'll be OK alone...

Um, no, I won't be OK, I'll be fucking fantastic.

I’m planning to do this very soon, I just want a quiet day with no one needing my time or attention!

I think it's great you had a day to yourself, but I do think it's odd not to tell your partner. What would he have done that would have made it less pleasurable for you? What happens if you let it slip in a few days and he is suspicious? I'm sure there was a thread on here recently where a woman had found out that her husband had taken the day off but not mentioned it and he was slated. Think lots of people said he must be having and affair or he wouldn't have hid it... MN double standards perhaps?

My friend does this, she says nothing (not even to her DH) and goes to the spa. Great plan if you ask me 😆

@CoffeeAndKittens Thing is, if you tell people they might come up with ideas for what you could do with your time! I'm perfectly happy to clean the house and do chores on my own, but I'd prefer not to be given suggestions.

I’m going to watch showtrial now!

Ds's first day at school I went home and went back to bed!
Dh still doesn't know.
2 years ago.
Some secrets are fine!

Oh god, I’d love to do this, but as we’re both currently WFH, I’m not sure it’d work 😂

Going against the grain I think YABVU.

A day off - yes of course go for it!!

Lying to your partner about it? Not ok. When you have children annual leave is a family resource. Fine to use it for yourself but hiding it is sketchy and rude.

And you did lie - you chose not to tell your partner when you booked at and every day between then and today.

I'm glad you've had a nice day but I do find it strange you wouldn't tell your partner and that he didn't ask about/show any interest in your day.

Your mum though, you don't live with her. She doesn't need to know

I do this but with whole week’s of leave, don’t tell dh.

Twice he’s done the same to me on the same bloody week! Gets to about 9am Monday morning and we’re both wondering why the other person hasn’t gone to work! I was so bloody disappointed! Having him under my feet when I was expecting a week of peace and quiet. 😂😂

[quote Cameleongirl]@CoffeeAndKittens Thing is, if you tell people they might come up with ideas for what you could do with your time! I'm perfectly happy to clean the house and do chores on my own, but I'd prefer not to be given suggestions.[/quote]
But as I learnt on MN - "NO!" is a complete sentence! If I tell my husband I'm having a "me" day, he wouldn't dare dream to offer suggestions of useful things I might do with my time!

No one knowing is what makes it special!

I only work part time so don't think I can do this but I do love the small times when my parents have the kids in the school holidays whilst I'm working and keep them overnight and my husbands working a late so I get all after work until bedtime watching crap and I normally make dodgy nachos to eat on the sofa as well !! It's bliss.

I book a day off for myself every 3 months or so. Sometimes DH says “oh shall I book the day off too so we can go out?” but I say no I’m having a lazy “me” day by myself. We book other days off together when kids are at school/nursery so I don’t feel bad saying no.

I don't blame you!
Saying that, I've told my partner that I'm working when I've actually got annual leave. This will make me sound awful but I never get nay break, get up with our son everyday, do all the housework etc. The only break I get is on the day I work. I quickly worked out that if I have leave, basically partner stays in bed whilst I get up with the baby and it's just a normal day. So the last time I booked leave, I pretended I was working and watched shows on my phone and drank tea!

Those of you WFH... simple solution... "have an urgent team meeting 'face2face'"... not saying I've definitely done this to go shopping but might have
OK maybe a bit dishonest but the odd white lie for mental wellbeing isn't exactly the crime of the century. I'm planning day spa currently but a lot are still not taking new bookings.

Yanbu. Sometimes it’s too peoplely out there.

Is it bad I didn’t mention in advance?

Not at all.
It's bad that you questioned whether you should have done though.

Your mother is not your keeper, & you do not have to punch a time & attendance clock for permission to take a quiet day to yourself.

Does she usually expect you to account for your time to her?