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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask other single parents how many hours you work

80 replies

cadburyegg · 01/11/2021 17:11

I'd be interested to know how many hours you work if you are a resident single parent? How do you fit everything in?! particularly if you work full time. and by everything I don't mean housework but I mean things like helping dc with homework, after school activities, play dates etc etc, or do those things mainly happen at weekends. Next year my dc will be 7 and 4 and in ASC 2 days a week and my mum will help with pick ups 2 days a week but i wouldn't really want to ask her to help the dc with homework etc asides from reading.

FWIW my kids' dad is around but i learnt right from the beginning not to depend on him for childcare so i can work, plus he does shifts.

OP posts:
Hummmph · 02/11/2021 05:21

60-ish hours per week, middle manager in teaching, so holidays aren't an issue.

Oldest had an amazing childminder who'd insist on homework being done before any fun activities and now does most work independently.

Youngest only gets homework once a week, so it's done at the weekend. We now use an after school club for financial reasons.

Shopping is done one day during the week after I pick the youngest up and we have a lazy dinner that night (burgers, pizza etc.), dishes get done once a day, cleaning etc. on a need-basis and all laundry gets done in one go on a Saturday so it's dry by Monday.

Until the oldest was an independent reader I'd insist on shared reading every bedtime and I do the same with the youngest now. We also visit the library weekly to foster that love of reading.

I don't waste my time with play dates until they're old enough to sort their own outside of holiday times; they get enough interaction with peers during the school day.

It helps to raise children with a view to making them as independent as possible. Both dressed themselves for school from age 4. Both help tidy and cook, and have done since age 2 (starting with very simple things like mixing, cutting very soft foods like mushrooms with a normal knife - from age 4 they'd learn how to crack eggs etc.). Youngest (5) can use a washing machine, knows how to sort clothes by colour. They understand that if they help they get more time with me, so they do.

It's hard sometimes, there is no doubt about that. But I've done it all, from single parenting from birth with eldest to a few years of relationship parenting, back to being single and I honestly prefer doing it alone.

Etonmessisyum · 02/11/2021 10:32

I’m a nurse 4 kids, work 18.75 hours younger asd so no before/after school provision available to him and none work the hours I work. Am doing further study to hopefully go into community position once he’s at high school so I can earn more as shifts abs single parenthood are difficult. Their dad takes his 2 younger kids 2 days per week (days that I work)

CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal · 02/11/2021 10:36

When my children were very young I worked 16-18 hours. From the youngest turning 3, I’ve always worked a minimum of 30 hours. Currently working 35 hours. No involvement at all from other parent. However, I have been term time only since they started school, so I’m usually able to catch up on housework in those holidays.

OhamIreally · 02/11/2021 21:21

I work 32.5 hours spread over 5 days so finish early 2 days a week. This was to enable me to pick up twice a week whilst still being seen as full time at work. After school club for the other days which DD used to moan and groan about.

When DD was younger had a cleaner and used Ocado and kept on top of things but I've got more outgoings now so no cleaner. Have one online music lesson a week which DD does on her laptop whilst I work (work from home mostly now). Last year she could bring friends home and they'd play whilst I worked. She also goes to a drama class at the weekend and I try to get to the gym while she's there.

Currently looking for a new job so may have to go full time.

Hesma · 03/11/2021 09:49

4 days a week in a school so hours fit well with children. Everything else I just do my best

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