To ask other single parents how many hours you work

[cadburyegg]

I'd be interested to know how many hours you work if you are a resident single parent? How do you fit everything in?! particularly if you work full time. and by everything I don't mean housework but I mean things like helping dc with homework, after school activities, play dates etc etc, or do those things mainly happen at weekends. Next year my dc will be 7 and 4 and in ASC 2 days a week and my mum will help with pick ups 2 days a week but i wouldn't really want to ask her to help the dc with homework etc asides from reading.

FWIW my kids' dad is around but i learnt right from the beginning not to depend on him for childcare so i can work, plus he does shifts.

Oh, 7 yo goes to a childminder after school til 5. She also walks him to school twice a week. Handily lives at the bottom of our road on the way to school.

I was a single parent for almost10 years.I worked 37 hours a week. DC went to breakfast club, ASC and holiday club. I had 5 weeks annual leave a year so I never saw them. Ex wasnt around at all as he had moved to the other side of the country and I had no family support at all. Housework was done when the DC were asleep and homework/playdates were at weekends. It was the hardest time of my life but my DC are Independent and have a great deal of common sense. They are not at the teenage years yet so will wait and see what that brings.

40 hours. Kids dad is shit.

Homework often got done at after school club. Or if nor, do 10-15 mins a night after dinner. Midweek dinners were something that was ready in under 30 mins and I cooked it while ds was having a bath (downstairs bathroom so he is next to the kitchen). Have dinner and chill out.

Once kids are in bed I would do some housework each night. Made sure I dont have much clutter so cleaning was fast.

Early mornings, do a bit of housework, maybe our a wash on. Get ready for work. Get the kids up and spend time with them. Finish getting ready while they dressed and all our the house by 8am.

Weekends were mix of catching up on anything I didn't do during the week and spending time with the kids.

Work full time. Father not really on the scene. Homework not really done, but I do encourage the youngest with reading. It's ducking hard. I have a cleaner and that's my one luxury, I'd rather live on microwave noodles than give that up

Full time- 3 dc

It's bloody hard, like a previous poster their dad works shifts and only has them on his days off.

Work are really flexible, I work from home twice a week, and finish early to pick up the kids but then get back on the computer once they've had tea.

I rely on breakfast club, and use toil to cover holidays.

Permanently shattered though

Have always worked full time but only one DC. Homework used to slip to be honest, I could only do so much. Play dates were at weekends.

Full time, self employed. Also ds 10 has complex special needs so I homeschool part time. It's hard but I manage. I'm very tidy so housework is fine.

30 hours, 1 4 year old DC who stays at his dad's one night in the week. Occasional early club at school the rest of the time it's a bit of a rush but I feel very lucky to have had control deciding my hours mostly.

Mines are primary school though. Hopefully at high school I can do more.

I work full-time and then extra 7-12 hours a week, most weeks.
No father involved so it is just me but I have a great mother who my son goes to after school until I finish work.
I have to take him to all his clubs- swimming lessons, scouts, sea cadets during the week. Sailing at weekends in summer but not so much in winter. He takes himself to Kung fu and swim club at the weekend.
I don’t really have any time to myself and I’m also studying for Masters.

Forgot, DS has always had chores to do, he now does his own washing, strips and remakes his bed, hovers and polishes the lounge and his room.

Play dates have been hit and miss as I work. He has the occasional sleepover, at home, with his friends but since COVID this hasn’t happened.

I am self employed with a home office and work a minimum of 50-60 hours a week including weekends and evenings when meeting certain deadlines every quarter.

I built this up gradually over the past almost 10 years since XH fucked off and left me to bring up a 4yo on my own. At that point it was meant to be a part time business around her school and holidays.

I managed it by using after school club 1-2 nights a week, my mum once night and a friend/club another night and me and a neighbour swapped childcare. This meant that I could go to clients from 9-5 and look more professional. Homework etc just gone done as and when required and gets easier as they get older.

The thing that has always suffered is the housework because the clutter piles up because I don't have time to pick it up. I do the essentials, ie the hygiene stuff like kitchen and bathroom and the laundry, but the rest gets done as and when and I don't give a flying pig what anyone else thinks. People accept that I don't live in a show home and they know the long hours that I work.

The holidays were a nightmare though because XH would not have DD at all claiming that HE had to work, but I muddle through somehow.

Now life is so much easier, DD is 13 so can be left alone, although covid means that I am still working from home rather than visiting multiple client's offices.

You just make it work somehow because you have to.

Full time between 60-70 hrs a week, DD goes to Dad's eow in school term + a few days in the hols. I work from home which helps with school runs, but I don't sleep much as hours so long so I work after DD's gone to bed to make up time. It's hard but a heck of a lot easier now DDs a bit older. First 8 years were hellish.

DD is older now but I did ft for many years as a single parent when she was younger. I've always done shift work, so was usually available one end of the day, then used nursery/after school clubs, baby sitters and my mum was amazing.
DD became very independent with things like home work early on, but in all honesty it was always a battle getting school to understand that I worked ft and couldn't drop everything for a parents evening at short notice etc, that I had to give a months notice for AL and no, that wasn't optional, nor could I just pop this or that in because I couldn't just leave work on a whim as we have a legal duty to ensure that there's enough people on shift at any one time and I couldn't just pop out, I think that's what made DD independent where being organised was concerned because there were times I just couldn't do it, no matter how much they guilt tripped me! I had to save those times for when she was ill.
School was obviously important, but not as important as keeping my job and therefore a roof over our heads.
Activities and play dates etc happened around my shifts, or my mum/babysitters facilitated, DDs friends parents were really good too with working around my shifts for things like that. Her dad couldn't be relied upon, so I only made arrangements with him when I didn't need to rely on him and get let down at the last minute.

It was really hard at times, but now I have an independent, helpful and considerate adult child at college who helps with the house and see's to her own life, with input from me when needed. I did compensate with Christmas/birthday presents up to what I could afford through guilt I think, I did feel bad a lot of the time if I'm honest, but it does have it's upsides, and now, looking back, it was totally worth it even if it didn't feel like that then.

It gets easier OP, when they get a bit older .

50 hours a week, 3 days from home. DC see their father EOW for one night - I carry on working in the evenings Mon-Thurs to fit it all in around lifts to rugby etc.

We live within walking distance of school which helps, have a cleaner, hard landscaped my garden. I batch cook things like chilli but enjoy cooking in the evening as I find it relaxing. Try to put a load of washing in most days - straight in the dryer.

Towels washed weekly and sheets fortnightly unless I've got time to do the beds more often. Would love my cleaner to do more but she is full.

Teaching at school 8:30 - 4 or 5pm. Studying another degree with OU plus marking and planning etc.

DD has dropped alot of classes post covid but I used to take my marking with me and do it sitting in the car or my ipad to study. My parents picked Dd up and included us in dinner (I contributed financially) meant I could go there straight after work we would eat then take DD to her classes, she did something every night and we'd be out the house 3-4 hours. I'd whiz around the house on a Friday night hoovering and dusting and get the uniforms washed, laundry often piled up apart from essential school and work wear. Any big house jobs and big cleans left to the school holidays.

After covid we decided we didn't want to rush around every night, life is calmer and I'm less stressed and so is she, she does one class on a Saturday morning and more hobbies at home. The house is easier to keep on top off as we eat at home and I have time to do a little bit everyday. I almost regret all the rushing about and weekends spent at sports competitions but life is about experiences and over stretching myself isn't something I'd want to do again or recommend to anyone else.

I work 25h pwn5 days but the dc have things on every night so the housework and homework basically doesn't get done! Their Df has them EOW and takes no responsibility either physically or financially for any of it outside of his 4 nights a month

I work 32 hours. I have a 3 yr old. In nursery till 6pm 2 days and grandparents the other 2 days. He then is with his dad EOW and I work one day on that weekend.

I have a pretty good routine of cleaning and just doing bits here and there which keeps on top of it well. I also always get Gousto which makes a huge difference for cooking. I generally try to spend my 1 weekday off doing something for DS, soft play, swimming park, legoland etc. But I recognise I'm very fortunate to be able to afford those things because of my job.

I'm always rushing around though my schedule of work/collecting is very tight! I also can't imagine doing it with more than one, so hats off!

I have a 9 and 10 year old. 20h per week, but I don’t need any wrap around care. 2 days from home, 2 in the office.
I do receive generous maintenance but no real practical help (he has one of those super important man jobs )
I needed a job where I wouldn’t have to rely on him, so I won’t be disappointed and have to frantically find last minute child care.
Once my kids are in academy and can be trusted with a house key, I’m really hoping to pick up full time hours. I only recently started working after 10 years so feel like I’ve started at the bottom again - but I fully intend to work my way back up again!

Job 1 28 hours over four days. i’m able to tag my lunch break on to the end of the day so I need minimal after school club. Job 2 is six hours a week, I can take him with me though, so that has generally always been easy.

20 hours. 1 DC. DC dad does EOW I use breakfast club and playschemes.

Trying to join the Bank to pick up weekend work when DC goes to his dad's. DC school doesn't do an after school club I would love to work longer days 3 to 4 times a week. But I got lucky with the hours 08.30 till 01.30 (NHS)

@CatFaceCats

I have a 9 and 10 year old. 20h per week, but I don’t need any wrap around care. 2 days from home, 2 in the office. I do receive generous maintenance but no real practical help (he has one of those super important man jobs ) I needed a job where I wouldn’t have to rely on him, so I won’t be disappointed and have to frantically find last minute child care. Once my kids are in academy and can be trusted with a house key, I’m really hoping to pick up full time hours. I only recently started working after 10 years so feel like I’ve started at the bottom again - but I fully intend to work my way back up again!

I do have an ex husband with a serious man job ( at the other end of the country) and so get zero practical help... irregular, once a month-ish almost weekends that I have learned not to rely on not being cancelled last minute and always have a back up plan if I have made any social arrangements.

Luckily he is generous with the financial support which eases his conscience and makes my life easier ( as my salary is crap) but does nothing to appease the relationship, or lack thereof, with the kids.

I work almost full time (0.96 FTE) , but term time only... I leave for work before kids do for school these days (teens), but am generally home before them and so able to help with homework if needed ( one dyslexic who probably always will need some level of support academically). It's actually quite a good balance overall but I'm aware I'm lucky to still have the financial support to enable me to do this...

37 hours a week. Nursery 3.5 days per week. My mom is a saint and has my son 1 day a week and he spends half a day with his dad a week.
It’s hard- housework gets done in the evening and weekends are full on.
I’m knackered!

30 hours a week, plus overtime.
Easier now they are older, 16 and 20, need little in way of parenting, but was exhausting when they were younger. Husband died young, no support, did it all on my own, you become more resilient and resourceful.

I work 35 hours over 4 days, I have a 5 year old. She's is with her dad 2/3 nights a week so I get a bit of time to myself. My mum and my ex's dad do pickups from school as the after school club finishes at the same time as I finish work, so too early to be any use to me. I'd be stuck without her grandparents, and am extremely grateful I still have a brilliant relationship with all of his family (he doesn't really speak to them now). DD happily helps with housework etc on a Saturday for pocket money, the rest happens when she is with her dad.