To ask other single parents how many hours you work

[cadburyegg]

I'd be interested to know how many hours you work if you are a resident single parent? How do you fit everything in?! particularly if you work full time. and by everything I don't mean housework but I mean things like helping dc with homework, after school activities, play dates etc etc, or do those things mainly happen at weekends. Next year my dc will be 7 and 4 and in ASC 2 days a week and my mum will help with pick ups 2 days a week but i wouldn't really want to ask her to help the dc with homework etc asides from reading.

FWIW my kids' dad is around but i learnt right from the beginning not to depend on him for childcare so i can work, plus he does shifts.

My contracted hours are 30 but often do 50+ a week (school) but I do get holidays and make sure I do no work on a Saturday.

Honestly I really struggle.
We try and do a walk most days after school but apart from that we don’t spend much quality time together on weekdays. I make sure I don’t do any work on Saturdays and I have extra time during school holidays to make sure I spend quality time with them and makes me feel less guilty.

Being organised is everything.
For me Sunday’s is when I try and prepare as much as I can for the following week. I try and sort out all uniform and work outfits, plan ahead my meals, do a deep clean, sort out post/bills etc. So during the week there is less to do.

Getting into a routine is very helpful and I always have 2 to-do lists handy - one for more urgent stuff and the other for things that need to be done but aren’t as urgent.

Having a calendar really helps too as I find school events like non-uniform days etc can easily be forgotten.

If I could do part time then I definitely would.

I work 40 hours pw but term time only. Kids are 13 and 7.
Youngest is in breakfast and after school club every day so she has quite long days.
Play dates with school friends don’t really happen, DD plays with my friends kids in the holidays.
DD does Brownies, Stagecoach and swimming every week. DS plays for 3 football teams so have multiple training sessions and matches every week.
Their dad hasn’t seen them for 2 years and I have no family nearby- I just make it work.
The house is usually upside down by the weekend but doesn’t take long to get it clean and tidy again.
I do reading, spellings and maths with DD on the nights we don’t have an after school activity, DS generally doesn’t need help with homework but if he does he goes to homework club at school
It’s tiring not going to lie, my job is on the go from the second I get there to the minute I leave and then it’s all go at home too but I wouldn’t change it

40+ hours here, but as a teacher, only during term time apart from work at home prepping during hols/weekends.
I have 3 DDs (10, 7 and 6) - they don’t see dad at all.
My wonderful mum does the school runs for me( I pay her weekly for this) but I do all homework, after school stuff etc.
It’s getting a lot easier now they’re a bit older but when I first started working 4 years ago, it was HELL! I really struggled and had been better off financially on benefits and not working so almost quit. I still don’t know how we got through it!

Full time hours (37) but generally 40+ a week. I work from home due to covid but I'm on calls all day every day so I can't do anything else.
Mine are early teens which really does help BUT they need a lot of support as well.
No cleaner etc, I do it all.
I have no support except from my ex who has them 1 night in the week and eow.
I'm knackered, at the point of mentally exhausted.

@dizzygirl1

Full time hours (37) but generally 40+ a week. I work from home due to covid but I'm on calls all day every day so I can't do anything else. Mine are early teens which really does help BUT they need a lot of support as well. No cleaner etc, I do it all. I have no support except from my ex who has them 1 night in the week and eow. I'm knackered, at the point of mentally exhausted.

Also one does rangers and one does rugby twice a week

40hrs contracted, often do more but that’s from home so doesn’t really count as can make dinner/supervise the kids at the same time. Mine do before and after school clubs, plus holiday clubs. Term time is easy as we have a regular routine, holidays are really tricky to juggle as most holiday clubs don’t provide the hours that I need covered and school holidays are soooooo long.

Full time teacher to three children.
Dad sees them eow and one week per year holidays.
Permanently knackered and stressed.
Feel like I wish my life away but my job is my saviour. It keeps
Me sane.

30hrs about to increase back to full time as I really need the money.

Dc dad is involved but does 1 day pick up from school. My mum will do 1 day, after school club will be 2 days and I have arranged my hours so I can do the final day.

Homework housework etc left for weekends. I might be able to stretch to a cleaner once a fortnight going forward. Currently it gets done a bit at a time so is never all clean at the same time and that pisses me right off!

25 hours. My husband/DD's dad passed away and we don't have any local family, although a friend currently does drop off to preschool, then the childminder collects her. Preschool is only 9-11.30 (thanks, NI) and even when she starts school she'll only do 9-1 for the first year and then 9-2 for the next two (again, thanks NI) so I'll struggle to do any more for the next few years as there's really no affordable wraparound care in my area - most families I know have 1 parent who works part time or not at all, and/or have grandparents nearby who provide childcare. It sucks and is very much not the life I hoped for.

My contracted hours are 37.5. I generally stick roughly to those hours. Might do a bit extra some days but then nip out for appointments and stuff on others so it tends to balance out.

Oh and I've been doing it for a while, used to do more hours (regularly 45 in previous job plus on call).

It's definitely got easier as they've got older. I think I just made the best of it. I'm fairly sure I often felt like I was failing at everything because I just couldn't fit everything in, but nowadays I feel like I did a pretty good job.

I work 30 hours a week. I have a 14 year old and a 6 year old and one in university who doesn't live at home anymore.
I've been a single parent for most of my children's lives. I have no family support and my ex is only interested in spending time with the children when it's on his terms and what he wants. He's your stereotypical Disney dad.

I spend too much time rushing my children around to clubs and events. I cut some of them out when covid hit to save money which helps. It's hard fitting everything in. I am always dropping balls, the garden is a mess right now...I wanted to get it sorted before the summer ended but ran out of time. My house is generally tidy but that's because I spend the evening sorting it and get up early to finish it. I also don't have a lot of clutter. I listen to my youngest read when we wait for her brother to finish his sports club. I just have to be resourceful with time.

I'm also poor. I have enough to live on but not enough to enjoy luxuries. Whilst my ex buys himself new cars and designer clothes on a whim....and doesn't pay child maintenance regularly Grumble grumble.

Until secondary can’t all homework be done at the weekend, except reading which just had to be done at bedtime if you work

I worked between 25 and 30 hours a week until oldest turned 11 then went full time
Before and after school clubs didn’t exist then and I had no child care options that I could afford

28 hours over 4 days. Am a completely lone parent. I’m lucky I have a cleaner and had an after school nanny for years until the youngest left primary who did all the school pick ups and taking to after school activities

40 hours a week. Been a single parents since the eldest was 7, they are now 16 so for 10 years.

It's hell, had no support at all. Kids have down their own washing since they were 12 and make their own pack lunches.

Each kids takes a turn to do a dinner a week. We sit down on Sunday and write the meal planner for the week and who's doing what. They also have a list of chores for the week.

I spend 5 nights out of 6 taking them to work or their sports activities. I have NO TIME to myself.

However the eldest is 17 now, has failed those driving test once but now has a scooter so takes a huge strain off my back. They can get themselves to work and college now.

It's hell OP but it does get better. Especially holidays, they obviously look after themselves now during the day. I can even go away for a weekend occasionally now.

It does get better. Although as teenagers they are ungrateful selfish gits! Am counting down the days now when they leave!

I've only been a single parent for just over a year, it was my choice and I sometimes regret it, not because I miss my ex but because I just find it so hard, being skint, no freedom on the days I have the kids..but then that's only the odd day, the rest of the time I find it easier to just do my own thing and not have another adult to clean up after. 2 DC, 11 and 6, he has them 2 nights a week, but generally not in the holidays much and he works away a bit too.
I teach 4 days a week, can't really afford to, I need to do full time but that won't happen till next year. I've been teaching for years so generally I find planning is easy, it's all the other stuff that takes up the time.

I manage by doing a little bit of cleaning every day, I do all washing on my day off so it's all done and put away. I batch cook when I can and we have very easy dinners at least once a week, microwaved jackets spuds, fish fingers and chips etc...roast chicken on a Sunday to do Monday too.
Both go to scouts/beavers, plus one activity at the weekend, also we alternate the weekend night so it's not always me doing it. I try to have friends round on my day off, once a month or so.
I have so many DIY jobs to finish around the house and the list of decluttering is endless, but I just try not to sweat the small stuff. All fed, no-one dead.

My mum does all pickups and drop offs, I pay her and she does a bit of ironing for me too, I couldn't cope without her. DD goes to a homework club once a week too and I collect her from that. I stay late one night a week to work and the kids have dinner with my mum.

I'm so lucky that even though the term times are manic, I do get the holidays to relax with the kids... saying that they're both being assessed for ASD so it's not exactly relaxing and DD who is 11 is giving me so much stress at the moment...

Hats off to you all though, I'm very lucky to have family nearby and too have an ex that is decent and does his share, although I do have to do all the organisation still. My brain does feel like it might explode sometimes.

Single parent to 2 year old and soon to be 4 year old. By choice I used a sperm donor at fertility clinic
I work 35 hours over four days. The nursery/ school they attend/ will continue to attend is private but fees cover breakfast club ASC and open all holidays with holiday club so works out cheaper than sending to state school and paying all the extras.
I'm knackered and have zero time for me- finding time to shower is a luxury any free time is with children or tidying house. I pay a cleaner two hours a week which helps just keep it going a bit.

Financially just balancing it out but zero money on me, my clothes are years old, have tears in them, holes in socks etc.
I buy second hand/ free furniture toys books from fb marketplace. I save for special occasions.

Absolutely love my children, do get a bit down about no me time whatsoever but remind myself this time won't last forever so trying to embrace it.

Also I often feel as I chose to be a single mum I often think people wouldn't sympathise with me for being tired or emotional as I chose this lifestyle to be a single parent so don't really tell people how I'm feeling ... I definitely chose to have children ... for me it was this or no children so a blessing but a hard blessing. It's all the financial and life decisions making by myself as well which feels tough too always second guessing if I'm making right decision for children.

But my world is complete with them - before my children my life was very unfulfilled.

40 hrs officially. 50ish in reality. Don't have to work school hols other than the odd day (teacher).
Breakfast club & after school club throughout primary.

I limited clubs to twice a week max (dance etc).
I got child to help with the housework as they got older (washing, putting away dishes, tidying bedroom, hoovering etc)
I set aside time after tea for homework/chat/walk and then did any catchup from my work after they were in bed.

It was hard going and hard work but no one else was going to pay the mortgage and I wanted to be able to not worry about affording uniform or school trips. Thankfully I had never been dependent on the deadbeat dad who left when child was 5, and I'd gone back to work full time when they were 6 months old.

On paper 40 hours, however always more than this…

The children’s Dad isn’t involved at all and I have no family help. Not going to lie it’s been a struggle and I have never missed a single days work due to childcare. However it’s slightly easier now they’re teenagers.

I worked full time (33 hours after you exclude breaks) when I was a single mum, but had to wait until DS went to school.
He was with a childminder from 7am until school, then the cm would collect from school and keep him until 6, and then I'd pay a private babysitter to pick him up at 6 and keep him until 9 when I got home.

I was working as a care assistant, 3 12hour shifts a week.

Officially I'm contracted to work 40 hours a week, but probably do roughly 50, as there just aren't enough hours in the day!

2 DC under 6, younger DC has SEN, although both DC go to nursery and school which helps. I've just enrolled school DC in BC and ASC because all his friends go, so he wants to go to, and that will make my life so much easier.

Also when I move house, I'll be getting a live-in Nanny/Housekeeper to support the household. I won't be able to continue to work at the level I am currently without significant help of that nature. In my old house (when with my EXDP), I employed cleaner, gardener, window cleaner, handyman, to keep on top of everything, as he did nothing.

The hardest thing I find is the logistics when you're on your own. So although I work a couple of days a week in the office, and the rest at home, there are times when I need to be in 2 places at once (work meeting and school drop-off/pick-up clash).

EXDP sees the DC on average once a month, and has now told me he's going on a 6 week holiday over Christmas, so I've learned not to rely on him for support. I asked for an extra day once to get him involved in the DC's school, and he was lording it over me like he was doing me a massive favour

My family however provide lots of support, which I am grateful for, although I try and only ask them for help in emergencies, such as the aforementioned logistical challenges.

I work full time, my ex DH is not around. It was HARD when the DC were younger, just the mental load alone was tough and I had a real thing about my DC not being disadvantaged by having a single Mum so went into over drive to bake cakes for every cake sale, attend every concert/play/nativity, do homemade costumes for world book day etc. Even joined the PTA! I was exhausted and looking back don’t know how I did it. Late nights and early mornings were regular things. Now the DC are at secondary school and I’ve relaxed more into the single parent role as time has gone on. It’s still a juggle though but easier and I’m counting down til my oldest DD can learn to drive next year!

I work full-time, my ex-husband is not around and my family live abroad. I have an 11-year-old daughter and for the first few years I had to have an au pair, as it wasn't doable otherwise, but now she is 11 things are much easier.

She gets a school bus to school in the morning and after school the bus drops her off at the local livery yard where she rides and takes care of our pony and socialises with her horsey friends until I come home from work, pick up the dog from our dog walker's house and go (together with our dog) to pick her up from the yard. When we come home, I feed her dinner and we watch Netflix during dinner time I then ensure she does her homework and get everything ready for school the next morning. I often have her friends at our house on weekends

Full time. Two kids. Also disabled and can’t walk.