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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cauliflower cheese

263 replies

CauliflowerCheeseMeal · 01/11/2021 16:27

DD (aged 7) wanted just a bowl of cauliflower cheese for tea tonight. She’s had sausage, mash and peas at school for lunch so has a lighter evening meal. I offered sandwiches, crumpets, crackers and beans with toast/bread she insisted she wanted the left over cauliflower cheese from yesterdays roast dinner.

It feels weird to me to have that for tea, but I think I might be UR? She had it warm (microwave). It was basically cauliflower in a cheddar cheese sauce topped with mozzarella and breadcrumbs – I made the sauce myself so know there’s nothing bad in it.

She’s eaten the lot. But I still feel weird about it. Tell me I’m UR and overthinking it Grin

OP posts:
Talith · 02/11/2021 09:58

What I'm finding weird is how little some people offer their kids for an evening meal - I couldn't just butter a crumpet and consider that a proper balanced filling evening meal for a small child! School dinners aren't like a family roast - the portions are tiny by comparison so I couldn't rely on that for their main nutrition of the day.

But then again the cold dinner thread is making me scratch my head too - many of the dishes mentioned seems so stingy! Grin

I grew up with tiny portions and a rumbling stomach and I used to LOVE going to my friends house where she had a deep fat frier and a freezer full of burgers and pizzas (yes we deep fried the pizzas) - I absolutely stuffed myself at hers and it was glorious.

ChocolateGingers · 02/11/2021 10:19

I agree with the PP.
There is no way I'd have offered my DCs a snack, basically, as their 'tea'.

Even if they had school dinners, there is no knowing how much they ate or the nutritional value of them.

Mine would always have a proper dinner when they came in from school - meat, fish, veg, etc - and a desert of fruit and yoghurt.

Usually I made something that we could reheat again for DP and me, later in the evening like a casserole, spag bol, home made fish cakes, fish pie etc, and I'd make them into individual small dishes, so I could heat ours up later.

No way would I have offered sandwiches or crackers.

ChocolateGingers · 02/11/2021 10:28

but she prefers a lighter evening meal and her main meal at lunchtime so has school dinners

Your posts are a bit confusing @CauliflowerCheeseMeal

On the one hand you say she prefers her main meal at lunchtime but in the same sentence you say she hardly eats any of it as it's too much.

TBH I'd not set much store by what a 7 year old says. Unless you are there- which you aren't- you have no idea what she eats at school.

I can't imagine a 7 year old saying 'Mummy, I prefer a lighter evening meal'.

YOU are the adult and you are responsible for giving her a balance d diet.

Based on what you say she has, there is no way she is getting anything like 5 a day (or more) fruit and veg (one portion of peas?) and is also probably lacking calcium and protein.

I think you need to take a hard look at nutrition and what children need.

Original poster
CauliflowerCheeseMeal · 02/11/2021 12:12

I never had cauliflower cheese before becoming a parent, neither of my parents like either cauliflower or broccoli so I didn't try either until I was in my 20s so to me it seems an odd choice for a meal but seems it's fine so I'll make it again and let DD eat it Smile

OP posts:
ChocolateGingers · 02/11/2021 12:37

@CauliflowerCheeseMeal But the cauli cheese is really the tip of the iceberg.

The main point which a lot of us are asking, is whether your child is having a balanced diet.

If she normally has only 1 portion of veg at school, (and dubious freshness at that) what else is she getting at home?

If she has (assuming) some kind of cereal for breakfast, and more refined carbs for 'tea' she's not exactly having a healthy diet, is she?

At her age she ought to be having at least 5 portions of fruit and veg ( 2 fruit, 3 veg is easy to aim for) and at least half a pint of milk and some yoghurt or cheese each day.

I am sure posters are trying to help you, but not sure if you are taking it on board?

changenamepainagain · 02/11/2021 13:07

@ChocolateGingers
Did the OP ask you (or anyone) to assess her child's entire diet? I don't think they did.
You appear to be here to crow about your home cooking and parenting style.
"Tip of the iceberg" FFS! It's a meal with a veg at the centre of it. Do you know how weirdly obsessive you sound?!

OP, it sounds fine to me. PS: Don't take parenting advice from internet know alls Wink

ChocolateGingers · 02/11/2021 13:19

If you read all of the pages here @changenamepainagain I think you will see that my comments are the same as many others.

A very large percentage of posters have queried if her child is having a balanced diet.

It's not crowing to say what some of us do and why we do it- to give children a healthy diet.

And it's not a case of 'internet' know alls' - it is standard advice that we are all supposed to follow for a healthy diet.

Maybe you have missed that.

ChocolateGingers · 02/11/2021 13:22

'Weirdly obsessive' to ask why her child only normally eats mainly carbs every night for her meal?

If someone posts on AIBU about what their child eats, they are inviting comments.

Maybe you eat the same way and it's touched a nerve.

You are out of order criticising posters for trying to suggest a healthier diet for a child on a parenting forum.

JudgeJ · 02/11/2021 13:37

@BigFatLiar

Cauliflower cheese is great, a favourite (It's the cheese sauce really cauliflower is pretty bland) Macaroni cheese with some toast is also a nice light meal/snack

It's difficult to fault a meal with cheese sauce!

I've started to roast the cauliflower, it seems to intensify the flavour, depending on how I'll be using it I may sprinkle something like jerk seasoning over it.
VestaTilley · 02/11/2021 14:02

It’s absolutely fine, provided it wasn’t a tiny portion. I’d have given her some bread or toast with it though, as aside from a few breadcrumbs it doesn’t have any carbs to fill her up for longer.

Lemonyfuckit · 02/11/2021 14:16

God now I just really really want cauliflower cheese. Just had lunch too. Humph.

KittenKong · 02/11/2021 15:14

Me too and we don’t have any cauli! Maybe macaroni cheese will do. With hot buttered toast...

Anonymous48 · 02/11/2021 15:55

@AssassinatedBeauty

The original post was at about 4.30pm, so presumably the DD was having tea somewhere around 4pm. I'd guess that 4pm ish is too early for the OP to want to have her evening meal, hence having a snack with her instead at that time.

OK, if you're right then I guess I would change my question slightly. Why is the daughter eating her meal at 4pm? Why don't they eat together as a family at a more normal dinner time?

AssassinatedBeauty · 02/11/2021 16:09

I think tea/dinner for younger children (7 in this case) is typically around that time for many families. Presumably because bedtime is fairly early too.

countrygirl99 · 02/11/2021 16:22

I'm just amazed that nobody has mentioned having chips with their cauliflower cheese. Food of the gods is cauliflower cheese and chips. With grilled tomatoes yum.

Dixiechickonhols · 02/11/2021 16:33

At age 7 they often have activities like brownies so school, early tea, brownies say 5.30-6.30, supper eg toast, bath and bed.

Clementineapples · 02/11/2021 17:21

Why is the daughter eating her meal at 4pm? Why don't they eat together as a family at a more normal dinner time?

Why does it matter? We have dinner at 5, my friends have dinner at 8, each to their own

Clementineapples · 02/11/2021 17:23

You are out of order criticising posters for trying to suggest a healthier diet for a child on a parenting forum.

No one has the right to suggest a healthier diet without knowing the child’s diet. You’re basing it on knowing one meal on one day.

Anonymous48 · 02/11/2021 17:26

@Clementineapples

Why is the daughter eating her meal at 4pm? Why don't they eat together as a family at a more normal dinner time?

Why does it matter? We have dinner at 5, my friends have dinner at 8, each to their own

The operative word there is "we". They can eat at 4 or 5 or even 8. But why aren't they eating together as a family? That's what I don't understand.
Anonymous48 · 02/11/2021 17:27

@Dixiechickonhols

At age 7 they often have activities like brownies so school, early tea, brownies say 5.30-6.30, supper eg toast, bath and bed.
I understand, and when my kids were that age we had to work around their after school schedules as well, so sometimes dinner would be on the early side and sometimes it would be on the later side. But we always made it a priority to try and eat together whenever possible.
Clementineapples · 02/11/2021 17:31

But why aren't they eating together as a family? That's what I don't understand.

It’s really not that difficult to comprehend. Child home from school is hungry and has dinner. Mum isn’t hungry so has a sandwich. It’s really not a big deal.

MummyMayo1988 · 02/11/2021 17:43

I love cauliflower cheese 🤤
That sounds delicious OP!
If she's happy; why complain?

Anonymous48 · 02/11/2021 17:44

@Clementineapples

But why aren't they eating together as a family? That's what I don't understand.

It’s really not that difficult to comprehend. Child home from school is hungry and has dinner. Mum isn’t hungry so has a sandwich. It’s really not a big deal.

I disagree. I think family meal time is incredibly important, for so many reasons. It's not always practical, I know, but in my opinion it should be prioritized wherever possible. My kids always had a snack as soon as they got home from school, unless we were going to be eating dinner early.

www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=why-the-family-meal-is-important-1-701

Joevanswell · 02/11/2021 17:47

Please can someone post a foolproof recipe please, I really fancy it now and am not a great Cook 🙏

Clementineapples · 02/11/2021 17:54

but in my opinion it should be prioritized wherever possible

Good for you, have a medal.