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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are your adult DC close to their cousins?

87 replies

hollyjollypolly · 31/10/2021 18:14

I have two adult DS's who are in their early 20's, neither of them are close to their cousins, their youngest cousin is 19 and their oldest is in their 30's. There's no bad blood between the cousins' it's juts that they are not close.

Are your adult DC close to their cousins and how much contact do they have?

OP posts:

Original poster

hollyjollypolly · 31/10/2021 18:17

That should say Just not "juts", apologies for not proof reading very well!

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock · 31/10/2021 18:17

Mine are 6 & 13 cousins ranging from 6 to 22.
All very close now, not sure if it follow into adulthood but I hope so.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/10/2021 18:18

No not really. There is one set of cousins they really like and they all get on great, but only see at family gatherings.

One other set on the other side of the family they don’t really like.

All very similar ages.

Cuntness · 31/10/2021 18:19

I've only three cousins and I'm close to just one of them.

The other two I've not spoken to in years. I probably wouldn't even recognise them if I saw them in the street, and I could count on one hand the amount of times we've actually met.

Does it matter?

Floralnomad · 31/10/2021 18:20

Our children don’t have any cousins , I have 2 and wouldn’t know who they were if I bumped into them , my husband has loads and doesn’t know any of them .

CMOTDibbler · 31/10/2021 18:22

My ds is very much younger than any of his cousins by 11 years, but of the 5 of them, 2 were very close as under 18's but have drifted right apart. The other 3 were never close

LyraVega · 31/10/2021 18:23

Nope I'm not close to my cousins

My DH has 2 cousins he gets on well with (one of them particularly so) and they'll meet up under their own steam to go for a drink or whatever

Apple40 · 31/10/2021 18:25

Growing up I spent loads of time with my cousins of similar age, sadly as joint grand parents have passed big family get togethers no longer happen, so I only have face book to catch up on what they are doing. Work and family life come first , I do regularly see 1 cousin who is more like a sister to me and our kids have grown up playing together.

Ragwort · 31/10/2021 18:25

On one side my DS is close to his two cousins as he is nearer in age to them but he hardly knows the others (they are much older than he is) and we just don't meet up or get together at all.

vdbfamily · 31/10/2021 18:26

my kids have 17 cousins and know them all. On my side of family we have done family holidays all together most years and get together a few times a year for special occasions. In terms of getting on, that varies. My oldest gets on with most of them, my middle child had a cousin born same week and they are good mates and he gets on okay with some of the others. My youngest is a girl amongst younger boy cousins and does not get on that will with them but she has anxiety and is likely autistic.
I grew up close to my cousin's(18 of them) and am still in contact with all of them around the world now(thank goodness for the internet) DH had one cousin and I have met her once in twenty years married.

SpeakingFranglais · 31/10/2021 18:27

No.

On DH, DD likes her female cousin but can’t stand her brothers and ignores them in the street.

On my side their cousin gap is almost a generation, so pleasantness nothing more.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 31/10/2021 18:28

Not close, but we do have a laugh at family events. We were close when we were young as everyone used to go to my nans on a Sunday.

Once our nan died, we naturally drifted.

GrandOld · 31/10/2021 18:28

All the cousins are 19yrs to 30yrs here. Some are closer than others. One isn't close to any of the others.

EmeraldShamrock · 31/10/2021 18:30

It would depend on how close the parents were to their siblings and how often they see each other.

DramaAlpaca · 31/10/2021 18:31

Mine are in their 20s and are close to their cousins who are of a similar age. They arrange nights out every so often. Their cousins on my side are quite a bit younger and live much further away, so they aren't so close.

Travis1 · 31/10/2021 18:32

2 of my cousins are like sisters for me. One more so than the other. Their parents are like surrogate parents for me though and my actual family situation is a bit fucked up. DH is not close to any of his cousins. Don’t get me wrong we all get along when at family occasions but not really got a relationship outside of that.

SickAndTiredAgain · 31/10/2021 18:36

I’m in my twenties and have 14 cousins and no, I’m not close to any. Not for any reason, we just didn’t grow up near each other, my parents were never big on extended family, we never saw family at Christmas for example. Growing up I could easily go two or three years without seeing a particular “set” of cousins, so no closeness ever developed. My sister is close to one, they happened to go to the same uni as each other, at the same time, so spent time together there, but I don’t really know her.

BunNcheese · 31/10/2021 18:41

On my dad's side I have a Cousin and she is my best friend! There's only 1 year in age difference and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Closer to her than my 2 sisters.

Mousetail · 31/10/2021 18:45

Yes, they are very close. Lots of them close in age, arrange nights out, have their own WhatsApp groups and are a great support to each other.

peaceanddove · 31/10/2021 18:47

Yes. Our DDs are 17 & 18. They are very close to my cousin's 2 boys and think of them as brothers really (I think of my cousin as more of a sister too). They're all very close in age too which helps.

ParkheadParadise · 31/10/2021 18:50

I have over 50 cousins. I'm close to many of them, several are like sisters.
My dd1 (29) was very close to her cousins they were all brought up together with 20+ cousins.
Dd2 is the same age as my great-nieces and nephews She is also close to her cousins but they are 20+ years older than her.

PerfectlyImperfectme · 31/10/2021 18:50

I have 22 first cousins - close to prob half, in contact of some way with and another few and a few I've not seen or heard from in years. No bad blood, just geography & different lifestyle.
The cousins I'm close to I see or speak to regular & include them in planning family events etc.
I've some second cousins I'm close to as well

Lovemusic33 · 31/10/2021 18:51

My best friend is my cousin 🙂, but I have loads of cousins that I rarely see. The one I’m close too is the same age as me and we went to school together so we were more like sisters growing up.

Marmite27 · 31/10/2021 18:54

My DH is close to some of his cousins (he has over 80!). We spent the last week on holiday overseas meeting up with about 20 of them plus their kids.

Riapia · 31/10/2021 18:54

Both me and ex h are only children so my dc’s don’t have cousins.

I had 10 cousins but they all lived at a distance.
I rarely saw them they were like strangers.

Possibly because I was an only child It never felt strange.

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