Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Are your adult DC close to their cousins?

87 replies

hollyjollypolly · 31/10/2021 18:14

I have two adult DS's who are in their early 20's, neither of them are close to their cousins, their youngest cousin is 19 and their oldest is in their 30's. There's no bad blood between the cousins' it's juts that they are not close.

Are your adult DC close to their cousins and how much contact do they have?

OP posts:

ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 31/10/2021 18:55

I’m not close to any of my cousins, in fact one of them I absolutely detest and avoid like the plague.

DS has 3 adult cousins who are much older than him and then 5 cousins who are the same age (mid teens) and younger than him. He’s not close to any of them, and like me, he absolutely detests one of them and avoids her as much as possible.

noblegreenk · 31/10/2021 18:55

I don't have any adult children but I'm very close to my cousin. She's 47 and I'm 36. She took me out underage drinking when I was 16. It meant I could do these things but under her watchful eye! We're still very close and she's more like an older sister than a cousin.

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 18:56

My 2 are very very close to one, but the other 4? Nope not a bit (one screwed me over for money, the DH of another screwed me over re: house improvements) my eldest DS apparently 'wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire'

A580Hojas · 31/10/2021 18:56

No. They only have two and we don't live near them so have only seen them a couple of times a year throughout their lives.

Same with me and my 11 cousins.

SuziLikeSuziQ · 31/10/2021 18:58

My DS is only 3, but I'm one of 33 cousins on my dad's side (he's one of 9). Some I'm close to, some I'm not. I'd say there's only one I'm in regular contact with, but plenty others I speak to occasionally and manage to see on the odd occasion.

I suppose it's like people from school who you see and socialise with until you leave at 18. After that, you stay in close contact with a few, are Facebook friends with others and some you'd happily never see again 😆

AuntieMarys · 31/10/2021 19:00

No. I have cousins I've never even met .

saraclara · 31/10/2021 19:00

Yes. There's only four years between the oldest and youngest of the four (two of mine, two of SIL's) cousins. The families didn't live near each other, but the cousins grew up spending weekends and longer together when we'd all stay at my in-laws (who also didn't live near either cousin family)

The cousins don't see each other often, but they keep in touch, and when they do get together, maybe four or five times a year, they get along really well.

Toottooot · 31/10/2021 19:02

I have no adult children but as an adult myself, I am not close with any of my cousins. My sister is not close with them either. Friends with some on Facebook but that’s about it.

Theyellowflamingo · 31/10/2021 19:03

I have a couple of dozen cousins, but we grew up in different places, rarely saw each other and have little in common. Many of them are close with each other, but then they all grew up in the same city and saw each other often. Once our joint grandparents are no longer alive I doubt I’ll ever see any of them again. No drama or bad blood, just people I don’t have a relationship with.

My children’s cousins are a lot older and live in another country- they’ve met about three times. I doubt they’ll have much to do with each other as adults. If any younger cousins are born on the other side of the family they’ll be in closer proximity, so it’s possible they could have a relationship there.

It is what it is.

DockOTheBay · 31/10/2021 19:04

I'm an adult, aged 30. My cousins are 30, 27, 18, 16, 13 and 11.

I wouldn't say we are "close" but we get on well. I see them all fairly regularly, about 3 or 4 times a year (in a normal year, obviously not last year). I have stayed at their houses for the weekend, they come and stay at mine. We see each other for Christmas and big birthdays.
I used to see the older cousins very regularly when we were kids, literally every week, but we grew apart as we grew older and had less in common and had our own interests, families and lived further apart.

TulipsTwoLips · 31/10/2021 19:05

I can’t speak for me because I don’t have any, but DH has about 10 cousins who all live locally and he spent a lot of time with growing up. I would say there is one of them he would happily speak to in the street and the rest he’s really not that bothered about. Different ages,interests, personalities etc, and also DH is quite introverted anyway so isn’t a massively chatty person. It was a bit awkward at our wedding when he didn’t want to invite any of them and MIL kept making up lots of excuses about it being because I have a small family, but other than that I never hear them mentioned.

A580Hojas · 31/10/2021 19:06

I'm stunned that anyone can have 80 cousins!

CelebrateAndDream · 31/10/2021 19:07

My two are late 20s/early 30s now and have cousins ranging from 18-35. All pretty close still, although we don't live near anymore (used to when they were little).

I'm close to many of my cousins and we talk regularly, as we grew up together. Others though, I never knew as a child (my dad's side of the family) but as an adult I have found and got to know, which has been lovely.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 31/10/2021 19:07

I am one of a whole multitude of cousins (there are 37 on my dad's side last count, and I have a couple of uncles who are only just settling down and starting families, so I'm pretty sure there will be more, we range from late 30s to 2)

Dad was sent to boarding school at 11, so didn't really grow up with his siblings, so isn't particularly close to any of them, I think that has an impact on the relationships cousins have too.

I'd say I'm pretty close to 3 of my cousins, but 2 of them are much much closer than the 4 of us, but their mums are twins and they grew up 3 doors away from eachother, so were ready made best friends) my brother is friendly but not close to any of our cousins.

Mum's side there's 8 of us, and I haven't seen any of them since early this year, there's 10 years between youngest and eldest.

DockOTheBay · 31/10/2021 19:07

@A580Hojas

I'm stunned that anyone can have 80 cousins!

Me too! That must include step cousins, half cousins or second cousins or something?

LouLou789 · 31/10/2021 19:09

I enjoyed time with my cousins when we were kids, as did my own children with their cousins but they are only vaguely in touch these days. However, through a total coincidence online I met my father’s cousin’s son (don’t know what precise relation he is- second cousin?- but we share great grandparents) of whom I had no prior knowledge and am thrilled to have found a new relative and we meet up with him and his wife on a regular basis.

A580Hojas · 31/10/2021 19:11

My husband's Mum was one of 5 children and his Dad was one of 6 children and even he only has 20 cousins.

Peckhampalace · 31/10/2021 19:12

I am adult with one sibling and three cousins (same parents).
Sibling is not close to any of them, I am fairly close with one, and happy to see another when family things happen, no argument with third but never seem to find anything to talk about. It's all down to what we have in common apart from being related I think.

icedcoffees · 31/10/2021 19:13

I don't have DC but I'm an adult and haven't seen or spoken to any of my cousins in probably three years at the least.

They all live overseas so we only saw each other every 2-3 years growing up. I wouldn't say we were remotely close as adults.

NothingSafe · 31/10/2021 19:13

My oldest cousin is 25 years younger than me, and the youngest isn't even a year old yet, so didn't really get a chance! We're not really a family gatherings type of family though, so even if they were older I don't think we'd be closer than saying hi in passing/friends on Facebook.

35andThriving · 31/10/2021 19:13

I have loads of cousins and have not had much to do with any of them, as an adult, to be honest.

Landof · 31/10/2021 19:13

I'm in my 20s and close to my cousins.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/10/2021 19:15

yes.
despite some of them being on a different continent, some just in a different country they have an ongoing relationship and it's sweet.

MrsSquirrel · 31/10/2021 19:20

I wouldn't say dd is close with her cousins, but she is fond of them. She is happy to see them at family events. There is one cousin who she might make plans with independently.

RedMarauder · 31/10/2021 19:27

I have loads of cousins.

I'm not close to any of them partly as the ones I lived nearest to when growing up were a different generation to me. For example my oldest cousin is twice my age and I'm younger than his children.

However I have two nephews who are close to each other as they are the same age and have similar interests. Funny thing is when they were little they played regularly with different cousins who they are now not close to...

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread