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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have bought any sweets for trick or treaters?

236 replies

CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/10/2021 12:02

Even though my kids are older and not bothered by all that anymore, pre-COVID I did used to buy lots of sweets and put a pumpkin out for any other children.

Now I just imagine the bowl sweets as COVID soup waiting to happen. Not to mention numerous hands ringing the doorbell. So my plan was to leave the front of the house in darkness and sit in our main living room ignoring anyone who might ring the bell. 😬

But I’m not sure if I’m being a Halloween Grinch (whatever the equivalent would be for Halloween, I guess the Grinch would be a Halloween lover not a hater).

YANBU - too risky and there won’t be many kids coming knocking anyway

YABU - the kids have missed out last year, let them have their fun this year, the risk is low etc

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/10/2021 15:00

@FourTeaFallOut

I think it's a bit miserable to throw up the drawbridge as soon as your own children have outgrown it, since you ask.
What - even though DH stayed home for years while I took mine out trick or treating, so that he could be available to hand out sweets to all the local kids? And even though when I took mine out we made sure we only went to houses where we knew there were either children or they had full on decorations more or less inviting people to come and knock? Any houses which weren't decorated we left alone, and I don't remember my kids ever complaining about that. In fact, they were more excited when they spotted a house that WAS decorated. I don't think there's any fun for trick or treaters to approach houses which are no decorations and often no lights, the occupants of which may be out, or old, ill or infirm and not able to get up and down to get to the door (treat-less and apologetic).
OP posts:
Wonderfulstuff · 31/10/2021 15:00

My Mum lives in a 'halloween tourist' area e.g. one of those areas that's always mentioned on facebook as being good for sweets. In 2019 she had over 200 kids at her front door. She loves handing out sweets to the neighbours' children but there aren't 200 of them so she's also decided that COVID & being a former shielder provides a nice excuse not to participate this year. I do think the level of expectation has got a bit out of hand in some areas.

gingercat02 · 31/10/2021 15:01

We're going to go out for dinner to avoid Halloween entirely 😂

MildRose · 31/10/2021 15:01

@PrincessNutella

I'm American and also British and grew up in Ireland.

It was definitely a thing in Ireland when I was little (80s-90s). It has only become a thing in England more recently and they do seem to have gone with the more American style of celebrating it. But it isn't American. The Americans stole it off the Irish and Scottish I think while England snubbed it...until they saw the Americans doing it and stole it from you!

Becca19962014 · 31/10/2021 15:01

We’re having a really bad storm - think slates and bins all over the place. I’m extremely doubtful ANYONE will be out, even now it’s dead quiet here - wheelie bins/slays flying not withstanding and is already dark it’s so bad.

Where I am the kids aren’t a problem, teenagers and young adults are, they ignore if somewhere is in darkness, or in my case has a sign up and harass until the doors opened. Want money too.

Yogaandcocoa · 31/10/2021 15:01

If you don't want to participate you don't have to but there are ways to do so that is less covid risky.

Last year we put things outside on the wall or pinned up

This year I wanted to do the same but the weather is not great! I suppose Haribo packs will not be ruined by the rain though!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/10/2021 15:02

we don't even do Halloween because we don't want to.🤷‍♀️
you are not obliged and you don't need any resons to justify why you don't.

YANBU.

FourTeaFallOut · 31/10/2021 15:03

Yes, I think it's a bit miserable. You didn't do anything different to what we do each year and I think it's miserable to be such a bad sport now your own kids aren't getting anything out of it. Why did you bother asking if you only wanted a particular answer?

Original poster
CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/10/2021 15:10

@FourTeaFallOut

Yes, I think it's a bit miserable. You didn't do anything different to what we do each year and I think it's miserable to be such a bad sport now your own kids aren't getting anything out of it. Why did you bother asking if you only wanted a particular answer?
So are your kids still at the trick or treating age? Do you really expect houses where there are no children living to decorate their houses and answer the door 15 times during the evening? Confused
OP posts:
HeyFloof · 31/10/2021 15:15

@Anordinarymum

My little grandson lives at my house with his mum. He is 3. This year he wants to stay at home and see people at the door instead of going out trick or treating with his mum.

We have parked my car at the top of the drive and it has a spider on the roof and there are lights and bunting on it. There is a massive cobweb on my hedge and bunting on the door

There will be lanterns and a pumpkin in the doorway and a large cat with green eyes. My hallway has Halloween lights in.

I love children. I always made a fuss at Halloween and then my son died in 2017.

After that I turned all the lights off and sat in the dark. I couldn't bear it.

Enough.

This year we will have fun and really - isn't that what it is all about ?

Flowers I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I'm glad you feel able to turn the lights back on ❤️
jamandmarmalade · 31/10/2021 15:20

@CurlyhairedAssassin

and a bloke knocked on with two little kids, I’d say about 4/5, Lights were off but as he knocked he shouted “open the fucking door.” And when I didn’t he screamed “miserable fucking cunt!” Through the letterbox.

ShockShockShock

@CurlyhairedAssassin It was probably just Amazon
CambsAlways · 31/10/2021 15:25

I think they will only knock if you have pumpkin in window , I wouldn’t worry , if you don’t want to answer dont

Againstmachine · 31/10/2021 15:26

Do you really expect houses where there are no children living to decorate their houses and answer the door 15 times during the evening?

Exactly, there maybe a frail vunerable person there, or someone who was attacked and many more, but hey as long as your little darlings have fun.

And in my experience they don't just knock at decorated doors.

SpiceRat · 31/10/2021 15:31

We’ve got poorly 10 week old and a dog recovering from an operation. If deactivating the bell and discouraging people by blocking the drive makes me miserable then I couldn’t give a fuck. My main concern looking after my babies, not answering the door and trying to stop the dog barking and doing himself an injury.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/10/2021 15:37

Our dds are long grown up, but I still put a pumpkin in the window on the night. We usually get 12-20 little kids.

GrasssInPocket · 31/10/2021 15:37

As recent empty-nesters we weren't going to bother, but then DH bought some sweets "just in case" as we know all the kids around here anyway and there are only a few of them. So I fished out a nice witch's hat from the dressing-up box (not yet cleared out!) to wear when opening the door and an orange bucket shaped like a pumpkin to use as a window lamp. If nobody calls, then grown-up DCs can have the sweets when they visit from uni! Halloween Grin

cuttlefishgame · 31/10/2021 15:48

I don't bother with sweets as we don't eat them if there are any left over. The last few times we have provided kit kats, apples and hula hoops as that's what we had in the house anyway. This year I have gone mad and bought some Penguin biscuits as well.

Isseywith3witchycats · 31/10/2021 15:51

ive put a witches hat in the window pulled out of our snack cupboard wrapped chocolate bars that we have in so if no one knocks then they go back to us its raining here so i dont see that many kids coming out anyway and our street dosent have many children of the right age anyway

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/10/2021 15:54

you could put a sign on the door:
"We had a Halloween party yesterday. all out of candy and booze. please don't disturb, we are nursing our hangover headaches. cheers"

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 31/10/2021 15:57

If I didn't have ds I wouldn't be doing it. You don't have to participate, but your covid soup comment is ridiculous

oakleaffy · 31/10/2021 16:00

@Anordinarymum
So sorry to read that your son had died
That made me sit up with shock
Can’t think of a worse thing to happen to any parent.
I hope this year is a tiny bit easier for you.

AlternativePerspective · 31/10/2021 16:01

And anyone who sits in their house with all the lights off is bloody miserable and I bet you’re one of those people who teaches their children about stranger danger for the rest of the year, while expecting those same strangers to hand over sweets on the day you deem it ok.

Couchbettato · 31/10/2021 16:02

Our plan is just to drop the sweets into the kids bags/baskets. That way only we are touching the sweets. We will use hand gel too.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 31/10/2021 16:04

YANBU to not participate, it’s not compulsory.
You’re not going to catch covid off your doorbell though Grin

SpookyS · 31/10/2021 16:05

@Nc123

Bit miserable of you, since you ask, but if you haven’t decorated/put a pumpkin out, you shouldn’t get any trick or treaters. I do think that kids have missed out on a lot of stuff since the pandemic started and little things like Halloween are important still.

We buy individually packaged sweets. Last year we left the bowl near the gate with the pumpkin so that people didn’t have to come to the door. This year we will answer the door again.

Why is it miserable?

We always have the curtains closed and hall light off as we're not participating in trick or treating. Why is that a problem?