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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have bought any sweets for trick or treaters?

236 replies

CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/10/2021 12:02

Even though my kids are older and not bothered by all that anymore, pre-COVID I did used to buy lots of sweets and put a pumpkin out for any other children.

Now I just imagine the bowl sweets as COVID soup waiting to happen. Not to mention numerous hands ringing the doorbell. So my plan was to leave the front of the house in darkness and sit in our main living room ignoring anyone who might ring the bell. 😬

But I’m not sure if I’m being a Halloween Grinch (whatever the equivalent would be for Halloween, I guess the Grinch would be a Halloween lover not a hater).

YANBU - too risky and there won’t be many kids coming knocking anyway

YABU - the kids have missed out last year, let them have their fun this year, the risk is low etc

OP posts:
3scape · 31/10/2021 14:20

Last year I put little bags out on a table for passing kids to grab something (with some spooky take one if you dare) as a self serve trick or treat. This year I'm back to letting them knock and take sweets though to be honest most of the kids will be from my son's class and definitely his school.

RosiePosieDozy · 31/10/2021 14:26

Don't do it if you don't want to. I'm sure there will be plenty of other houses for the trick or treaters to go to.

I'm going to have sweets and a pumpkin at the ready. I'll sanitise the door bell and the bowl afterwards.

HerRoyalNotness · 31/10/2021 14:28

I’m in the US and I have to say this year Decorated houses are in the very small minority. I’m not sure what’s going on. Last year my little one made me take her walking every night or die a drive to see the decorations. I’d say less than 20% of last years houses are decorated. It’s weird. Last year T&T always also busy, will be interesting to see the difference tonight

MildRose · 31/10/2021 14:30

You don't have to provide sweets! It's entirely optional. But I'm not sure covid soup is something to be overly worried about...

That said, ours aren't going trick or treating. We're doing a little party just for us instead.

NativityDreaming · 31/10/2021 14:30

I think YABU since you are just using covid as an excuse and you admit you just can’t be bothered.

We are putting little bags out with our pumpkins so trick or treaters don’t need to ring the bell (it is disconnected for the evening) or knock.

georgarina · 31/10/2021 14:34

Why don't you put a bowl of sweets on the doorstep if you don't want kids ringing the bell?

Iamtheweedonkey · 31/10/2021 14:40

We usually have a pumpkin and give our sweets, but we have all got or are getting over covid. So we're not taking part in trick or treating tonight. Haven't got any decs up, but did wonder whether to out a sign saying not to knock, but probably won't.

Doublechins · 31/10/2021 14:42

@Iamtheweedonkey

We usually have a pumpkin and give our sweets, but we have all got or are getting over covid. So we're not taking part in trick or treating tonight. Haven't got any decs up, but did wonder whether to out a sign saying not to knock, but probably won't.
We have covid so we've taken the decs down and put this sign up. DH reckons we'll look like knobs and should have just ignored the door 🤷‍♀️
AIBU to not have bought any sweets for trick or treaters?
julieca · 31/10/2021 14:42

I think not doing it because of covid does not make much sense. But I voted YANBU as you don't have to take part. It is your choice.

nordica · 31/10/2021 14:43

@georgarina

Why don't you put a bowl of sweets on the doorstep if you don't want kids ringing the bell?
Does this actually ever work? I remember posts in my local FB group about people doing this and it takes about 10 minutes before some cheeky teenagers take the lot and leave nothing for others.
TroysMammy · 31/10/2021 14:43

@Anordinarymum I just asked Alexa to play spooky music and she conjured up Stan by Eminem and Dido 😂😂😂

trappedsincesundaymorn · 31/10/2021 14:43

And anyone who sits in their house with all the lights off is bloody miserable

Are they though? Last year we didn't answer the door to the few trick or treaters that turned up. We were too busy sitting with my dad who died the next day. So you can take your judgement and shove it up your pumpkin.

SirensofTitan · 31/10/2021 14:43

My children are now too old for Halloween so I'm not doing anything, it's not compulsory. Where do you live that not doing it is unusual OP? Over my many years of going round I have never found it even to be a majority thing and unless they live in a cave everyone knows you only do houses with decorations or pumpkins out Grin

Using covid as a reason is a bit bonkers, it's not April 2020, is there a correlation between this and washing shopping? Smile

Bunnycat101 · 31/10/2021 14:46

The rule in my village has always been only to go to houses with a lit pumpkin. It has generally been well adhered to. I didn’t do it the years I’ve had newborns and no-one has knocked.my 5yo is super excited as her first time.

CharlotteRose90 If you don’t want people at your door I wouldn’t put your lit pumpkin in the window with the lights down. That’ll basically be seen as an invitation to knock.

Bonbon21 · 31/10/2021 14:48

Halloween has , like Christmas, become just another excuse to spend money.
Kids no longer expect to have to do a song, story, joke or poem.. they just put their hands out for the sweets etc.
There is no significance behind the date any more.... in the past the kids would make their own costumes, practise their 'turn', and be chuffed with a haul of a few sweets, nuts and the odd coin.
And as for the expectation that EVERYONE has to participate.... just not fair on people who simply dont want strangers at their door on a dark evening.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/10/2021 14:49

To those posters who don't like teenagers coming around think of it like this........... this is the only time you will speak to these kids and they will remember you forever !

I'm not sure what this poster is trying to say here...is it that we should be nice to them or tell them to fuck off?

Againstmachine · 31/10/2021 14:51

And anyone who sits in their house with all the lights off is bloody miserable

Anyone who allows their children to harrass people beging for sweets is a selfish individual, see how that works calling someone miserable for not taking part in something you want to do.

And if only these people went to the decorated houses only.

BrutusMcDogface · 31/10/2021 14:53

I’m the same, really cba with it this year. Feel bad though as I have children. The only one who seems bothered is my 7 year old and I don’t want to upset her but wish it wasn’t happening to the honest.

DahliaMacNamara · 31/10/2021 14:54

My kids used to love dressing up, decorating the garden with our mountain of Halloween tat and giving out sweets. They never called on any other houses, so now that they've grown up I don't feel any obligation to continue giving out sweets. Any sweets in the house are MINE.

Player456 · 31/10/2021 14:54

My dad's birthday is on Halloween. When my son was young we went home after spending the evening with him, to find our house covered in eggs and the inside carpet covered in soil...we weren't the only house! I did have Trick or Treaters then (back in late 90s), and they were typically teens, not dressed up and always wanted money. Even if you gave it, they'd still egg your house. I hated it!

Then my youngest daughter, who died had her birthday the day before. I found it impossible to be interested, so withdrew, until my older daughter became interested in Halloween (she's nearly 20 yrs younger than DS).

To start with we'd dress up and hand out sweets, other years we'd go Trick or Treating on the way to celebrate dad's birthday.

Dad died a couple of months ago. Today is his birthday. DD wanted to go out, but I'm just withdrawing from it this year, that includes anyone who knocks, I have nothing in, it's not compulsory.

PuzzledObserver · 31/10/2021 14:55

@PrincessNutella

I am American and I grew up with Halloween. But I didn't think it became a British thing until fairly recently, amirite? So I don't see why you have to do what is basically an imported American custom. (I don't mean Halloween itself, but the candy thing.)
Yes! Thank you.

We had a book club when I was in primary school and I remember one which talked about Trick or Treating, and I had no idea what it was. This was in the 1970’s. We used to carve Jack’o’lanterns out of a swede (not a pumpkin) and do apple bobbing.

I’ve just printed a sign provided by our local police force saying no trick or treats here. We will close the curtains (don’t usually bother) and if anyone ignores the sign and rings anyway, we just won’t answer.

BrutusMcDogface · 31/10/2021 14:56

@Mojoj

First up, it's guising. Unless you're American. And I hope I'll see some guisers tonight. And anyone who sits in their house with all the lights off is bloody miserable.
I am bloody miserable, actually. 🤷🏻‍♀️
NursieBernard · 31/10/2021 14:57

YANBU just do what you want to do. We only visit houses with pumpkins or decorations so hopefully you won't get many visitors.

starfishmummy · 31/10/2021 14:58

I used to do it when ds was younger - he didn't go out Trick or Treating, but was home to greet those who did and give some sweets out. He has never been interested in receiving any back.

We don't do it any more, and generally people round here don't call unless there are decorations out.

BackBackBack · 31/10/2021 14:59

@Mojoj

First up, it's guising. Unless you're American. And I hope I'll see some guisers tonight. And anyone who sits in their house with all the lights off is bloody miserable.
Why should someone else's decision not to participate mean that you feel it's appropriate to call them miserable? There are lots of reasons why people might not want trick or treaters at their door.
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