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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my parking fine? Poor quality pic included

100 replies

LoveGoldberg · 30/10/2021 23:15

I’m having issues with my neighbour, I’ve never actually met her. Sorry for the length!

We live opposite football pitches and if we don’t time it right then it’s really difficult to park on the street, this is only a couple of hours a day. The rest of the time there is loads of space.

She has a proper drive, we have an unofficial drive - the owners before us put it in but there’s no dropped kerb and it’s not wide enough, you can only open doors on one side of the car. In addition it is impossible to see when pulling out of it and we don’t like the risk with there being so many kids playing in the street. The only time we park on it is if there is absolutely nowhere else to park or if we’re fixing or cleaning the car and then me or dp guide the other out. To get on it we have to drive slightly on the opposite side of the road to angle it in and sometimes roll back because of the kerb if it isn’t lined up spot on.

About a month ago the street was full so I parked outside her house, I wasn’t blocking the drive at all, I know for a fact because I pulled as far back as I could knowing they always park there. I wouldn’t have attempted my drive at all because of the street being so busy. The next morning there was a note on my car saying I had parked selfishly as I had prevented her parking on her drive and I should be considerate…. I took pictures of my cars placement and asked dp and he agreed it wasn’t blocking it and there was at least a meter. Also, she had parked on her drive that she claimed I was blocking.

Last week dp was fixing his car on the drive and nipped out in mine to pick something up, when he came back she was parked over our drive. It wouldn’t normally bother us because we don’t use it, however it did this time because it was obviously to block him in, she’s never parked not on her drive! We just ignored it because she moved it before he needed it anyway.

Tonight when I’ve got home the street was full because of football match on the pitches opposite, the only spot was outside her house. A van was partially over my pretend drive so even that wasn’t an option. I considered parking on the next street but decided against it because 1. I had shopping to carry and 2. I would just be parked outside someone else’s house.

I’ve just taken the dog around the block for a wee before bed and there is a note on my car. I’ve not moved it off of the car yet but I glanced and it said something along the lines of me being a silly little girl thinking the world revolves around me. Again, she’s parked on her drive absolutely fine.

AIBU to knock on her door tomorrow morning? And if I do, what do I say? No matter what, I have to park in front of someone else’s house because I can’t get in front of mine. I don’t even care about the van being there because it wouldn’t fit anywhere else.

Is my parking fine? Poor quality pic included
OP posts:
MRex · 31/10/2021 12:34

@LoveGoldberg

The 3 sections are my next door neighbour, then her next door neighbour and their drive.

@icedcoffees if you read the full thread (it’s only short) I’ve obviously just described it as that to explain how it looks and what other people see it as - I imagine you would be one I would need to describe it to as you don’t seem massively observant.

Right, so two houses and one drive. Was someone else parked in front of their houses who moved later? Just wondering if she thought you were somehow going out of your way to park next to her drive.
takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 12:47

@LoveGoldberg

The 3 sections are my next door neighbour, then her next door neighbour and their drive.

@icedcoffees if you read the full thread (it’s only short) I’ve obviously just described it as that to explain how it looks and what other people see it as - I imagine you would be one I would need to describe it to as you don’t seem massively observant.

erm @LoveGoldberg, i was also confussed by it, its not particularly clear as to what is what
GoodnightGrandma · 31/10/2021 12:48

Pay to drop your curb, or people are well within their rights to park there.

Hilda40 · 31/10/2021 13:07

Put a laminated note on your drive saying "No dropped kerb, please feel free to park here".

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 13:37

Pay to drop your curb, or people are well within their rights to park there.

I don’t want to pay for it dropping because it wouldn’t make us start using it as a drive. We have no issue with people parking in front of it. The only time we’ve had an issue is when DP was fixing his car so squeezed it onto the pretend drive so he could benefit from the external light and she blocked it in for over 12 hours. Other than that I don’t care if people park there or not. In fact I have a neighbour that is heavily pregnant and I have been purposely avoiding parking their myself so that she can always park close to her house.

OP posts:
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 31/10/2021 13:41

Go egg her car and blame it on trick or treaters.

Whinginadeville · 31/10/2021 13:48

I put yabu because you are semi saving a space/using as a drive without paying for the dropped curb and I think you probably use it more than 3x a year if you're honest. It's a dick move to 'create' a drive without paying for a dropped curb whatever the rest of the story.

MatildaTheCat · 31/10/2021 13:54

We have some new neighbours and live on a road which has quite a bit of commuter parking. Each time someone parks very slightly over their dropped kerb (100% not reducing their capacity to get on or off their drive) they call a parking warden and get them ticketed.

Now that’s a dick move.

OP just do your think and try to avoid conflict with neighbours, it’s just not worth the hassle. If you did drop your kerb you’d be able to park across it outside your house without needing to use the drive. Just a thought.

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 14:26

I put yabu because you are semi saving a space/using as a drive without paying for the dropped curb and I think you probably use it more than 3x a year if you're honest. It's a dick move to 'create' a drive without paying for a dropped curb whatever the rest of the story.

Genuinely we don’t! If we use it we can only use the front door of the house because it’s too tight to walk around the car and it means walking on the flower borders to get to the front door which drags mud everywhere.

It was created before we bought the house and we like the layout of the garden so haven’t changed it. A couple of houses in the street know the deal and park in front of it now if the front of their house is blocked.

OP posts:
takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 14:46

@LoveGoldberg

I put yabu because you are semi saving a space/using as a drive without paying for the dropped curb and I think you probably use it more than 3x a year if you're honest. It's a dick move to 'create' a drive without paying for a dropped curb whatever the rest of the story.

Genuinely we don’t! If we use it we can only use the front door of the house because it’s too tight to walk around the car and it means walking on the flower borders to get to the front door which drags mud everywhere.

It was created before we bought the house and we like the layout of the garden so haven’t changed it. A couple of houses in the street know the deal and park in front of it now if the front of their house is blocked.

how wide is the front of your garden? im seriously struggling to see that its anywhere near as narrow as your claiming it to be, cant you put a pic of it on here rather than the drawing you have done, it would make things a lot clearer to understand
Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 15:12

It’s not the full front garden, we have a square area in front of the house that’s grass with flowers around the edge and then the “drive” is tarmac and stretches down the side of the front garden and house to the back garden… so like a drive would usually look it just isn’t as wide as a drive would need to be.

I’ve attached more artwork for you

Is my parking fine? Poor quality pic included
OP posts:
takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 16:10

@LoveGoldberg

It’s not the full front garden, we have a square area in front of the house that’s grass with flowers around the edge and then the “drive” is tarmac and stretches down the side of the front garden and house to the back garden… so like a drive would usually look it just isn’t as wide as a drive would need to be.

I’ve attached more artwork for you

ok so how far from the front door to the fence/pavement?
takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 16:12

and how wide is the tarmac bit of your drive?

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 16:27

I’m not sure on exact measurements but it’s about a car length and a half, and the width is about 10cm more than my car. I would have to park against the fence and climb out onto the flowerbed if I was parking on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 16:28

@takenforgrantednana why?

OP posts:
takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 16:32

[quote LoveGoldberg]@takenforgrantednana why?[/quote]
because im trying to see in my minds eye why and how this could be resolved oh and what car is the biggest one you own what make and model? because there has to be a better way than you currently have that has led to this issue coming up in the first place

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 16:36

We’ve lived here 7 years and this is all in the last month…. I’m not going to spend money getting anything changed that I don’t want to change. I like the way the front garden looks and don’t care about changing and having a drive. The general consensus is that I’m not being unreasonable legally parking on a public road, the same as others in the street do. Hopefully the woman has realised she’s in the wrong or she would have argued it when my partner brought it up with her earlier.

OP posts:
PheasantsNest · 31/10/2021 16:40

@LoveGoldberg why didn't you or your DP have an adult conversation with her instead of a stupid pretend you don't know her one?

takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 16:58

@LoveGoldberg

We’ve lived here 7 years and this is all in the last month…. I’m not going to spend money getting anything changed that I don’t want to change. I like the way the front garden looks and don’t care about changing and having a drive. The general consensus is that I’m not being unreasonable legally parking on a public road, the same as others in the street do. Hopefully the woman has realised she’s in the wrong or she would have argued it when my partner brought it up with her earlier.
yeah i hear you HOPE too just like we did at our house when the same things started happening, thankfully we put our hands in our pockets and got the drive in and the kerb dropped, it didnt stop things tho as i woke one day to find that she had painted a lovely (message) in red paint on a white car that know one would claim ownership of, that got lifted by the council within 2 hrs of me reporting it to the police, who i think may have gone and had a chat with her as things then went quiet after that
SatsumaPumpkinFace · 31/10/2021 17:41

If you take photos every time you park near hers, can you show us one of the pics? We can then see if yabu or not.

But hopefully your DH has done the trick.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 31/10/2021 20:49
Brew
Restzol · 31/10/2021 21:41

I too wondered if the situation is as @HazelandChacha says. My parents live by a school on a narrow road and whilst no one parks across their drive, they leave insufficient room to do any more than roll a car in and out in a straight line. So, no law broken but the drive is inaccessible none the less. I have a double drive on an open plan garden but if there is a car parked opposite, I can’t get on or off the drive. When that has happened I have knocked on my neighbours door and they moved the vehicle as they are reasonable people. Other places I’ve lived the response might have been less conciliatory and more colourful I admit. Anyhow, point is there is a grey area between legally parked and a drive being usable. The detail of this is generally only clear to those who know the property well and know the car being driven.

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 01/11/2021 07:22

@Restzol both times she’s complained she’s still managed to get onto her drive so it isn’t stopping her. If I hadn’t parked there I would have just had to park in front of someone else’s drive and potentially caused them this problem. People don’t tend to park on the other side of the road so definitely not across her drive there.

OP posts:
rrhuth · 01/11/2021 07:24

@nocoolnamesleft

She didn't park blocking your drive, because you don't have one.
This is your issue, legally speaking. You need to get your dropped kerb done to make it a drive. Currently you're in the wrong driving across the pavement.
PheasantsNest · 01/11/2021 07:30

@LoveGoldberg You shouldn't be parking in front of anyone's drive. If there's no space you park elsewhere.

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