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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my parking fine? Poor quality pic included

100 replies

LoveGoldberg · 30/10/2021 23:15

I’m having issues with my neighbour, I’ve never actually met her. Sorry for the length!

We live opposite football pitches and if we don’t time it right then it’s really difficult to park on the street, this is only a couple of hours a day. The rest of the time there is loads of space.

She has a proper drive, we have an unofficial drive - the owners before us put it in but there’s no dropped kerb and it’s not wide enough, you can only open doors on one side of the car. In addition it is impossible to see when pulling out of it and we don’t like the risk with there being so many kids playing in the street. The only time we park on it is if there is absolutely nowhere else to park or if we’re fixing or cleaning the car and then me or dp guide the other out. To get on it we have to drive slightly on the opposite side of the road to angle it in and sometimes roll back because of the kerb if it isn’t lined up spot on.

About a month ago the street was full so I parked outside her house, I wasn’t blocking the drive at all, I know for a fact because I pulled as far back as I could knowing they always park there. I wouldn’t have attempted my drive at all because of the street being so busy. The next morning there was a note on my car saying I had parked selfishly as I had prevented her parking on her drive and I should be considerate…. I took pictures of my cars placement and asked dp and he agreed it wasn’t blocking it and there was at least a meter. Also, she had parked on her drive that she claimed I was blocking.

Last week dp was fixing his car on the drive and nipped out in mine to pick something up, when he came back she was parked over our drive. It wouldn’t normally bother us because we don’t use it, however it did this time because it was obviously to block him in, she’s never parked not on her drive! We just ignored it because she moved it before he needed it anyway.

Tonight when I’ve got home the street was full because of football match on the pitches opposite, the only spot was outside her house. A van was partially over my pretend drive so even that wasn’t an option. I considered parking on the next street but decided against it because 1. I had shopping to carry and 2. I would just be parked outside someone else’s house.

I’ve just taken the dog around the block for a wee before bed and there is a note on my car. I’ve not moved it off of the car yet but I glanced and it said something along the lines of me being a silly little girl thinking the world revolves around me. Again, she’s parked on her drive absolutely fine.

AIBU to knock on her door tomorrow morning? And if I do, what do I say? No matter what, I have to park in front of someone else’s house because I can’t get in front of mine. I don’t even care about the van being there because it wouldn’t fit anywhere else.

Is my parking fine? Poor quality pic included
OP posts:
HouseOfFire · 31/10/2021 10:10

I'd start putting adverts for specsavers on her car if she can't get in when you are parked a metre away.

You don't have a drive though as no dropped curb. If a car is on it, it should be left clear but if no car, no problem

SatsumaPumpkinFace · 31/10/2021 10:12

I’ve not moved it off of the car yet but I glanced and it said something along the lines of me being a silly little girl thinking the world revolves around me

Did she actually use the term 'silly little girl'? If she did she's even more of a CF than I thought 🧐

Proudboomer · 31/10/2021 10:15

Are you parking overhanging her dropped curb? Or are you completely over the straight curb?

TwoMuchTwoYoung · 31/10/2021 10:16

If a note on a car is making your daughters nervous then you need to work on their self esteem and confidence.

MissPeregrine · 31/10/2021 10:22

It’s a good job she doesn’t live where I used to, I do believe that one NDN and his adult DS actively ‘got off’ watching me struggle to navigate getting on and off the drive! They parked bang on either side of the gate posts (no need as they had plenty of space) then neighbour across the road parked bang opposite the drive, very narrow street too!

Tell you what though, made me bloody ACE at reverse parking, just no power steering back then though but good for the arms Grin!

She sounds focussed on you now, OP. Where does your DH normally park? Tell him to park outside her drive and see if she puts a note on his car.

MissPeregrine · 31/10/2021 10:26

Does she have the same issue as you do when exiting her drive? If there’s a car there does it cause issues for her?

MRex · 31/10/2021 10:30

I don't understand your diagrams, but just drop a note in her door to say it's a public road, so parking on it is legal and please do not leave any more notes.

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 10:30

DP has spoken to her! He saw her walking down the street as he was going to the shop and pretended not to know who she was.

He said he pulled the note off in front of her and started laughing and said to her oh look at this, what type of person would be so ballsy to put a patronising note on someone else’s car moaning at them for parking legally on a public road when clearly their issue is that they are driving a car that they don’t know how to park, how wouldn’t they be able to get on their drive from here.
Apparently she responded with yea I suppose and then crossed over to slowly put something in the bin on the pitches - probably to avoid admitting it was her! Hopefully she will get a grip now, I might park there next week to test it.

And yes she used the term silly little girl - I’m in my 30s, maybe young lady would have been more suitable! We’ve spoken to most other neighbours in the past about parking and told them all to park in front of our gate if they are stuck so they don’t end up miles away, we are usually home after all the extra cars clear so there’s plenty of space and the none neighbours don’t realise we don’t park on our “not a drive” so they tend to not block it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 10:38

Does she have the same issue as you do when exiting her drive? If there’s a car there does it cause issues for her?

No, she has quite a wide drive and then a front garden with a wall that is about 50cm high and her neighbour has a drive attached to hers (it looks like one big drive with nothing dividing them two) and doesn’t have a wall or anything at the front of their garden so it’s really clear for her to see.

Ours is so tight that I have to turn a wing mirror in and the other scrapes a hedge, on one side it’s a 5 foot fence all the way up to the footpath and on the other side it’s a 5 foot hedge so pulling out completely blind.

DP normally parks in front of our next door neighbours house on the furthest side from grumpy lady, she doesn’t have a car or anything so there’s never been an issue. She’s on older lady on her own and once said she likes a car out front to make her house look “busy” to passers by.

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 31/10/2021 10:40

You need to get some neon chalk and define “PUBLIC ROAD” in one colour and “YOUR DRIVE” in another - with really big arrows. Take a photo and pop a note through her door with the photos you already have and a note stating “Dear Neighbour, You seem to be very confused about what exactly defines YOUR driveway. I thought I’d make this very easy for you and mark it out so that you don’t risk further embarrassment by posting hostile notes on my car (or passively aggressively blocking our car when we have resorted to parking on our path) when I park legally and safely on the PUBLIC ROAD as I am perfectly entitled to do.”

MissPeregrine · 31/10/2021 10:47

I really don’t see what her problem is then as where you park causes no issues.

I’d be tempted to leave a note on my car with the words - PARKED LEGALLY! but seems your DH has (hopefully) resolved the issue.

EngelbertPumpkindink · 31/10/2021 10:57

yanbu in that that is a poor diagram. Grin

Quite frankly her note to the effect of you being a silly little girl thinking the world revolves around you, is a bit worrisome.
She sounds paranoid, and off-kilter.

I like your DP's indirect trashing. That was good.
I hope this nonsense dies down for you now -- what a pain in the arse to have to deal with this crap.

LakieLady · 31/10/2021 10:59

I can't get over the fact that she claims you've blocked access to her drive when she's actually managed to park on it!

DrFoxtrot · 31/10/2021 11:07

YANBU

Also came on to defend your diagram Grin it might not be outstanding with regard to artistic flair, but it is perfectly functional and understandable.

HazelandChacha · 31/10/2021 11:10

Does she have the same issue as you do when exiting her drive? If there’s a car there does it cause issues for her?

This or maybe having trouble swinging in? You thinking she shouldn’t have a problem but her actually having a problem are two different things.

Our neighbours sometimes cause us problems even though they are parked legally (narrow road, they have big vehicles).
I would never say anything to them but it’s annoying. Even more so when I once had a friend parked and neighbour struggled to get into their drive. They shot daggers at us chatting by the car but, clearly the penny didn’t drop, that they make it difficult for us on a regular basis and we’ve done it to them once in 7 years!

doublemonkey · 31/10/2021 11:15

You could leave the car where it is then knock on her door and ask her to explain in what way you are blocking her drive.

I actually quite like your diagram. The black background coupled with the neon type colours is quite soothing, and juxtaposition of line quality between the text and surrounding field is very effective.

DebbieHarrysCheekbones · 31/10/2021 11:36

Your diagram is fine. What’s not clear about it?
I agree with @doublemonkey . I think it has a pleasing eighties graphics retro touch to it.

This woman on the other hand is not fine. Hope your DP’s tactics worked and she realises that any sane adult will consider her barking mad as well as a shit driver if she can’t get her car on her drive with any vehicle parked on the kerb next to it.

People like her are so over invested in their own small world and huge sense of entitlement that it renders them ignorant to just how much of a twat they appear to others because of it. If she’d left a note like that on my car I would have knocked on her door and informed her if she ever conducted herself like that again I would consider it harassment and consider further options available to myself.

MRex · 31/10/2021 11:43

The thing I don't understand on the diagram is what are the 3 sections between the neighbour and OP, is that meant to be a road and pavements?

itsallgoingpearshaped · 31/10/2021 11:45

Well done to your DP. Hopefully that will make her think about what a twat she appears to be to others.

icedcoffees · 31/10/2021 11:50

You don't have a drive, so she can park in front of your patio quite legally. The fact that you sometimes choose to park there illegally isn't really her problem.

But you're perfectly within your rights to park outside her house as long as it doesn't block her (legal) drive.

DebbieHarrysCheekbones · 31/10/2021 11:51

@MRex

The thing I don't understand on the diagram is what are the 3 sections between the neighbour and OP, is that meant to be a road and pavements?
Aren’t they other drives?
Mummyoflittledragon · 31/10/2021 11:59

Good on your dp for shaming the silly woman.

Original poster
LoveGoldberg · 31/10/2021 12:00

The 3 sections are my next door neighbour, then her next door neighbour and their drive.

@icedcoffees if you read the full thread (it’s only short) I’ve obviously just described it as that to explain how it looks and what other people see it as - I imagine you would be one I would need to describe it to as you don’t seem massively observant.

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 31/10/2021 12:04

@LoveGoldberg

The 3 sections are my next door neighbour, then her next door neighbour and their drive.

@icedcoffees if you read the full thread (it’s only short) I’ve obviously just described it as that to explain how it looks and what other people see it as - I imagine you would be one I would need to describe it to as you don’t seem massively observant.

There's no need to be so rude, is there? Hmm

I did read the thread. You raised the fact that she blocked you in as being a problem in your OP. Anyway, I'm not going to bother with this thread anymore. You can respond without being belittling and unpleasant.

Tee20x · 31/10/2021 12:11

@LoveGoldberg

I suppose her issue is that she can't simply drive past her house & full lock her steering wheel to reverse on.

With your car there she'd have to put more effort into parking there.

Good on your partner challenging her note though. Hopefully that will put a stop to her madness.

Love when people get their comeuppance, I'm sure she wasn't expecting it.