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Original poster

To feel uncomfortable about gender representation in kids toys?

245 replies

stereeotype · 30/10/2021 09:19

I was looking for a birthday gift and have to say the shopping made me feel...slightly uncomfortable on how badly the toy options played into gender stereotypes. I haven't looked for a kids present for years as I don't have children, but I think I'd be frustrated if I did!

I would go as far as to say I found it disturbing. There was relatively little of use in the 'pink' section and nothing but practical/technical learning material amongst the boys.

Now I appreciate you don't have to buy girls toys for girls and boys for boys - but a girl is likely going to assume she subconsciously wants the girls toys as there are pictures of girls all over the boxes so likely to veer towards those.

Also, why can't the girl section appear girly but the actual toy still be of use, not just a dolls head for hairdressing or a kitchen for cooking?

Can't believe it's 2021 and we are still dealing with this.

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Sceptre86 · 31/10/2021 12:22

Many toy shops don't necessarily have a boy and girl separate section anymore. I just buy what they are interested in. For instance my dd has a kitchen set that her brother prefers to play with as well as a toy hoover and cleaning up toys. She loves his marvel toys so has a selection of her own. They both play with barbies and like dressing up and dd will happily play with hot wheels toys.

I think it's often other people's ingrained stereotypes you have to deal with. For example my mum bought my dd a Dr set when she was 2 to go with the doctor clinic we bought her. She searched high and low for a pink one but was surprised when I asked why it had to be pink? If anything dd is more partial to red.

MarshmallowSwede · 31/10/2021 12:40

Learning how to look after. Baby, grooming and learning to cook are also “useful”.

I hate how “girly” things are automatically considered bad or inferior. What message does that send to girls who actually like dolls or actually like pink? It definitely doesn’t do any favours for boys who might want a doll. It’s not “useful” or as good as boys toys?

I get what you’re saying OP, but toys are toys and there’s no reason why a child can’t play with a pink toy or a doll or a truck or anything. Toys are just toys.

Women ourselves need to get out of this thinking where we feel “girls things” are not useful. Some girls love pink, love princesses and live dolls and they don’t need to be told that those things are inferior or bad or useless.

tiggerwhocamefortea · 31/10/2021 13:29

I don't think it ever did us any harm 🤷🏻‍♀️

I played with pink. I work in the most male industry you can think of

People just like to make something out of everything these days

Draggondragon · 31/10/2021 13:30

@Newrunner29

What i find annoying is when they make 'girl versions' of boy toys so like pink garage or pink construction set, just unessassery and what does that message send out!
Ugh. Try being a female manager in the oil industry. Sparky hard hats and pink high viz are banned in my team. We even have pee holes in our coveralls, not very useful but not worth demanding to be different
SammyScrounge · 31/10/2021 13:41

@Peaplant20

Yep it infuriates me. Why does everything have to be pink or blue??? I was looking for cups for my baby got when she starts drinking water, so many of them come in either pink or blue - why??? Why not orange or green or yellow? I can only presume the answer is so that you buy it all again if you have a second screen of the opposite gender but really who would do that? I can see why you’d buy new clothes but I wouldn’t be buying cups, if I have a boy in the future he’ll have to have a pink drinking cup. And yes I know boys can have pink cups and girls can have blue cups but the whole thing annoys me.
Most people have more to worry them these days. You know, climate change, pandemic, Chinese super missile...
LolaSmiles · 31/10/2021 14:00

I hate how “girly” things are automatically considered bad or inferior. What message does that send to girls who actually like dolls or actually like pink? It definitely doesn’t do any favours for boys who might want a doll. It’s not “useful” or as good as boys toys?
'Girlie' things aren't considered inferior.

The problem is that from the day a baby is born there's endless drip drip drip messages about what a girl is like and what girls do, and what a boy should be like and what boys do.

Ultimately girls are subject from birth to an endless drip drip drip where the messages are be smiley, be pretty, be nurturing, do the domestic things, etc in a way that boys aren't. There's absolutely nothing wrong with dolls or a play kitchen. The problem is that boys aren't drip fed the message from birth that their role is to be pretty, compliant, nurturing and domestic. There is no need for a play kitchen to be colour coded by gender, or a science set to be branded as a science set for girls by making it pink.

What's really sad though is that there is clearly a demand for stupid stereotypical toys and parents out there who've willing to deny that this socialisation exists, because boys/girls have some fuzzy innate sense that drives their play decisions. Amusingly it's almost always the peolle saying their DC just happened to divide largely on gender stereotype lines who seem to take an issue with people raising socialisation by stereotypes as a problem.

AlmostAlwyn · 31/10/2021 14:34

@MarshmallowSwede

"toys are toys and there’s no reason why a child can’t play with a pink toy or a doll or a truck or anything. Toys are just toys"

I really wish everyone thought the same way Sad

Unfortunately, they don't. Least of all toy manufacturers, who only show girls playing with dolls.

I've done a quick experiment and gone on the Smyths website. I clicked on "fashion and dolls" and went through several pages of toys, though I didn't get to the end! Most showed only the toy, but those that showed a child, 200 were girls and 29 were boys (the majority of the boys were wearing Marvel costumes and accessories not playing with dolls). Just 5 showed a boy and a girl playing together.

M

AlmostAlwyn · 31/10/2021 14:39

Posted before I was finished!

Of course, if you go to "construction and cars", you'll find the opposite. The first girl you see is shown playing with a shopping trolley (pink and purple, naturally) Hmm

Doesn't seem very equal to me.

shivbo2014 · 31/10/2021 14:49

I think just buy whatever the child likes. My son likes his play kitchen and doll. His sister hates barbies baby dolls etc. They like what they like as long as you don't push anything onto them. I do get a bit annoyed by them making a pink version of toys though. Like the well known picnic basket that was originally in yellow and for some reason they had to make a pink version, I don't understand why they do that!

Whitefire · 31/10/2021 15:27

Most people have more to worry them these days. You know, climate change, pandemic, Chinese super missile...

Well to be fair the endless pink and blue cup divide is going to do very do little to help climate change.

Cosyblankets · 31/10/2021 15:44

I buy for a young girl, friend's daughter. She has an amazon wishlist. I just buy something off that. It makes no difference whether it's pink or blue or whatever because it's what she wants.
Stop getting offended and just buy the child what they want

Original poster
stereeotype · 31/10/2021 16:02

@Cosyblankets

I buy for a young girl, friend's daughter. She has an amazon wishlist. I just buy something off that. It makes no difference whether it's pink or blue or whatever because it's what she wants. Stop getting offended and just buy the child what they want
Well it's a bit difficult when you don't know what the child wants!
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SantaIsComingToTown · 31/10/2021 16:05

Get Lego, you can't go wrong.
I LOVE the nature inspired friends sets, best lego there is IMO, for a boy or a girl.
There's also some nice sea themed sets, lego city I think.
Pretty sure all small children love animals, not sure you can go wrong if you get a lego set with animal figures in!

Lotsofpots · 31/10/2021 16:25

@AlmostAlwyn

I would like to see the packaging and advertising for all toys feature a girl and a boy using the toy together. Yes, kids "like what they like", but when they see the adverts on TV of boys playing with the cars and girls playing with the hairdressing doll, what do they think? Those are the toys for my group. Of course there will be kids who don't care, but the vast majority care about "fitting in". And that means following the rules that you see and hear all around you. It doesn't have to say "boys" above the aisle in Tesco if all the pictures on the boxes are boys.
This, a hundred times over. My son - who loves rainbows, cars, drawing, Lego, so pretty gender neutral in terms of stereotypes - was looking through a toy catalogue and commented on some of the toys being "girls toys". I called him up in it and then looked for myself. And there are pages and pages (see pics) that show only girls playing with dolls and kitchens, and boys playing with weapons.

Things don't have to be explicitly called girls and boys toys, they can still be marketed as such.

And for all of those who think this is inconsequential, can you really not see how showing boys from toddlerhood that it's natural for them to play with weapons, guns, tools etc may have some link to male violence?

DockOTheBay · 31/10/2021 16:31

@tiggerwhocamefortea

I don't think it ever did us any harm 🤷🏻‍♀️

I played with pink. I work in the most male industry you can think of

People just like to make something out of everything these days

Of course there will be some cases of women playing with girly toys and going in to male dominated industries.

But why should those industries be male dominated? The facts are that far fewer women work in high paying jobs. Far fewer women work in STEM or have STEM qualifications. Far more women work part time or not at all. There are gender imbalances everywhere and perhaps removing the idea that girls "should" only play with certain toys is one step on the road to addressing that.

DockOTheBay · 31/10/2021 16:37

@lotsofpots yes I noticed the Smyths catalogue was particularly bad this year. Of course the sections aren't called "boys" and "girls" but if the "dolls and fashion" section is all coloured pink and shows pictures of hundreds of girls playing with the toys, its a pretty clear message.

Snaketime · 31/10/2021 16:51

On one hand I really do agree with you OP. I mean ASDA is slowly moving away from this but very slowly, the last few times I have gone I have actually bought my DD clothes from the boys section because she likes Minecraft, Robolox and dinosaurs.
My DS on the other hand is 4 and has asked for a tea set for Christmas.

notanothertakeaway · 31/10/2021 17:36

@RussianSpy101

Does anyone who is desperately trying to be “woke” ever stop to think maybe the girls like playing with things from the “girls” section and the boys like playing with things from the “boys” section.

This is all getting rather dull now tbh.

Maybe plenty of girls do like to play with dolls, kitchens etc

But it's important to remember they don't make those choices in a vacuum

If toys weren't gendered, then they would make more of a free choice

Due to environmental concerns, reduced incomes, and increased awareness of gender, I imagine parents of the future won't tolerate pink for girls / blue for boys. When I was a child, clothes, bikes, schoolbags etc were neutral colours so they could be passed down within families. I think this will become common again

Cosyblankets · 31/10/2021 18:20

@stereeotype
Can you not just ask the parents what the child is into?
Would that not be the most simple solution?

Original poster
stereeotype · 31/10/2021 18:24

[quote Cosyblankets]@stereeotype
Can you not just ask the parents what the child is into?
Would that not be the most simple solution?[/quote]
I didn't have time for that. And also, a present should be a surprise - I don't need to check with someone

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Phineyj · 31/10/2021 18:51

However, I noticed when I read it and again just now when I looked up the Amazon link, that all the endorsement quotes are from women. Well known ones such as Caroline Criado Perez, but still all women.

Original poster
stereeotype · 31/10/2021 18:55

@Lotsofpots thank you so much for those photos - for anyone struggling to understand my original post - those photos highlight the massive issue this poses, it's forcing gender stereotypes on us far, far too young

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Legoisthebest · 31/10/2021 19:24

stereeotype I am curious why you didn't ask the parents what their children actually are interested in. A present that's a 'surprise' but turns out to be something the child has zero interest in is just a waste a money.
Whatever the opinion about gender stereotypes in toys (some of which I do agree with) I would much prefer children receive toys that they actually like, want and will play with rather than a random 'surprise'.

Original poster
stereeotype · 31/10/2021 19:26

@Legoisthebest because I think it shows a child they should appreciate what they are given. When I was a child I wasn't asked what I want and quite often was into things I wouldn't have necessarily asked for but was still grateful for.

Personally I would want my child thinking they get everything they ask for. But that's just my personal opinion.

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