To feel uncomfortable about gender representation in kids toys?

[stereeotype]

I was looking for a birthday gift and have to say the shopping made me feel...slightly uncomfortable on how badly the toy options played into gender stereotypes. I haven't looked for a kids present for years as I don't have children, but I think I'd be frustrated if I did!

I would go as far as to say I found it disturbing. There was relatively little of use in the 'pink' section and nothing but practical/technical learning material amongst the boys.

Now I appreciate you don't have to buy girls toys for girls and boys for boys - but a girl is likely going to assume she subconsciously wants the girls toys as there are pictures of girls all over the boxes so likely to veer towards those.

Also, why can't the girl section appear girly but the actual toy still be of use, not just a dolls head for hairdressing or a kitchen for cooking?

Can't believe it's 2021 and we are still dealing with this.

Honestly I think you're imagining stigma. Nobody gives a shit about how many kids you pop out.

Girls generally like small world play. My daughter plays differently from my boys. She is more imaginative, more of a story teller. This is not something to be ashamed of. Why are women still made to feel bad about their feminine characteristics??
People using terms like useless toys and sitting pretty. Their dolls are not useless. Please don’t belittle that kind of play just because it isn’t engineering. Why are girls still expected to be like boys to get any kind of respect? Just let us be what we are, maybe then female dominated roles that play up to feminine attributes such as caring role wouldn’t be so badly paid.

@olivehater

Girls generally like small world play. My daughter plays differently from my boys. She is more imaginative, more of a story teller. This is not something to be ashamed of. Why are women still made to feel bad about their feminine characteristics?? People using terms like useless toys and sitting pretty. Their dolls are not useless. Please don’t belittle that kind of play just because it isn’t engineering. Why are girls still expected to be like boys to get any kind of respect? Just let us be what we are, maybe then female dominated roles that play up to feminine attributes such as caring role wouldn’t be so badly paid.

Excellent points

@olivehater

Girls generally like small world play. My daughter plays differently from my boys. She is more imaginative, more of a story teller. This is not something to be ashamed of. Why are women still made to feel bad about their feminine characteristics?? People using terms like useless toys and sitting pretty. Their dolls are not useless. Please don’t belittle that kind of play just because it isn’t engineering. Why are girls still expected to be like boys to get any kind of respect? Just let us be what we are, maybe then female dominated roles that play up to feminine attributes such as caring role wouldn’t be so badly paid.

Excellent post. Very thought provoking. I actually completely disagree with the OP based on my own experience. I have 2 boys and my younger one (almost 6 now) frequently (more often than not I'd say) heads to what you're assuming is the girls' section and picks out pink / purple useless shite!

My view is buy whatever the child likes, be it a tool set or a doll.

However I grew up surrounded by barbies, dolls and all the typically girly stuff (through choice) yet I’m currently a senior manager in a male dominated industry so it clearly didn’t do me any harm 🤷🏻‍♀️

I tend to buy wooden toys to avoid not only the plastic but also the stereotypes.
I think some things have got better lego for instance advertises to both now but I agree there is still a lot of pictures of girls or pictures of boys on toys.

My DS plays with what he likes, he absolutely loves his toy kitchen and playing with cars. He's bought what he has a interest in, he has a doll and a train set because he wanted them. That's why I find wooden toys better they are just bright colours.

@olivehater

Girls generally like small world play. My daughter plays differently from my boys. She is more imaginative, more of a story teller. This is not something to be ashamed of. Why are women still made to feel bad about their feminine characteristics?? People using terms like useless toys and sitting pretty. Their dolls are not useless. Please don’t belittle that kind of play just because it isn’t engineering. Why are girls still expected to be like boys to get any kind of respect? Just let us be what we are, maybe then female dominated roles that play up to feminine attributes such as caring role wouldn’t be so badly paid.

Well, your daughter isn't representative of all girls. Some girls love imaginative play with dolls, as do some boys. Some girls love lego and building toys, like some boys. Some like football, some skateboards, some ponies, and so on - which is precisely why children should be allowed to choose any toy they like without being pushed down any genderised route.

I'm not sure I agree with the OP's term "useless toys" - there are useless toys, but they're not specifically those traditionally marketed at girls in my opinion. The "engineering or nothing" argument is flawed, but the alternative to that isn't selling special pink hoovers with only girls on the box / adverts. It's possible to market all toys to both genders without bias.

@Newrunner29

Im just thinking maybe if the pink and blue toys werent so obvious and its was normal for boys to play with dolls and play kitchens , there wouldn't be so many post from womrn, complaining their partners who are parents are being usless and refusing to look after their own children!

Exactly this

@Legoninjago1 it's not belittling it's just that what happens is these cycles move forward to adulthood and that's partly why women get paid less than men do. Social conditioning leads to the gender pay gap.

I obviously didn't get my point across properly and agree that somewhat missed the point. I apologise. I get why stereotypes could be seen damaging or wrong but I don't think it's true when it comes to children's toys. What you are forgetting is the kids play IS instinctive to an extent and that's what toy manufacturers are inflating.

My son does pick up a dolly to play with, no problem, he is more than welcome to play with whatever he likes. He will also play pretend tea parties. But he naturally is driven more towards cars and mechanics whilst my niece will pick pretty fluffy things over anything. She has got brothers and endless opportunity to play with boy toys that but she isn't interested. Trust me, her parents would have been delighted not to buy any more toys! I personally do not believe you can influence this.

Sure there's marketing and as I said I believe manufacturers are using this instinctively and characteristically boys and girls will always prefer different type of toys. (And when not, that's fine too!) The clothes are only the hang up the parents IMO. My son doesn't care what I dress him in, and when he does, I will 100 take that on board and buy the clothes of his preference.

People need to stop so desperately trying to change everything. Because in this case, that may be more forced and unnatural. And that's the point I was trying to make. I class myself as a mum with traditional views and don't appreciate being made to feel guilty for buying my son blue clothes and diggers and having insinuated that I'm damaging him in any way by doing so.

And lastly, my son is being brought up in a loving home with values and we try damn hard to lead by example and teach him respect and kindness. It makes me laugh that some people think that useless husbands are the product of boys not playing with doll houses and broom sets as children. That's absurd!

@PearsandPartridge

I obviously didn't get my point across properly and agree that somewhat missed the point. I apologise. I get why stereotypes could be seen damaging or wrong but I don't think it's true when it comes to children's toys. What you are forgetting is the kids play IS instinctive to an extent and that's what toy manufacturers are inflating.

My son does pick up a dolly to play with, no problem, he is more than welcome to play with whatever he likes. He will also play pretend tea parties. But he naturally is driven more towards cars and mechanics whilst my niece will pick pretty fluffy things over anything. She has got brothers and endless opportunity to play with boy toys that but she isn't interested. Trust me, her parents would have been delighted not to buy any more toys! I personally do not believe you can influence this.

Sure there's marketing and as I said I believe manufacturers are using this instinctively and characteristically boys and girls will always prefer different type of toys. (And when not, that's fine too!) The clothes are only the hang up the parents IMO. My son doesn't care what I dress him in, and when he does, I will 100 take that on board and buy the clothes of his preference.

People need to stop so desperately trying to change everything. Because in this case, that may be more forced and unnatural. And that's the point I was trying to make. I class myself as a mum with traditional views and don't appreciate being made to feel guilty for buying my son blue clothes and diggers and having insinuated that I'm damaging him in any way by doing so.

And lastly, my son is being brought up in a loving home with values and we try damn hard to lead by example and teach him respect and kindness. It makes me laugh that some people think that useless husbands are the product of boys not playing with doll houses and broom sets as children. That's absurd!

I really dont think its as absurd as u said. Playing with a doll teaches caring ,empathy , compassion if a child is clearly made to feel that is a girls game they r being taught that they dont to deal with that and could continue into adulthood, my friend's sons who isnt allowed dolls pushchairs or play kitchen is because of their dad he insistes they r girls toys. He is telling them this is not their role. And could b connected im sure it is, she has difficulty with him looking after her sons on his own. We he doesn't.

*well he doesn't.

I dont think its a stretch to say he got these ideas from his childhood and its been passed down.

It makes me laugh that some people think that useless husbands are the product of boys not playing with doll houses and broom sets as children.

Of course this doesn't produce useless husbands. But it most certainly produces very lovely husbands who believe that both they and their wife have certain pre-determined roles in life. Fine if you fit those roles and are happy with those outcomes. Less so if you don't

If you give a gift to my kids my daughter would look at it and say nice. My son would turn it over and see how it was put together.

I had a lego train set as a kid.

Kids like what they like

When I was a kid no punishment worked except one. I was made to wear a dress. I am a girl.

I can see what the OP is saying but just live your life as you want to

I had a lovely blue blanket which I used for my daughter. Everyone said "Aww what's his name? ". I just replied with her girly name. I don't care what people think.

Just look for nice stuff that you like and you think they might like.

@olivehater your girl maybe, my girl has never enjoyed small world play whereas my middle son did. She was very active and liked playing ball games, or trampoline or making stuff out of cardboard. My eldest loved a doll with a buggy. I couldn't find a boy baby though he wanted one for ages. Aparrently all babies were girls in 2007

@Newrunner29 but you said it yourself, it's his Dad's fault. Him not providing healthy family dynamics or respecting his wife. Nothing to do toys! I'm not trying to argue, just saying how it comes across to me.
My DH is an only child who grow up closely with 3 boy cousins. He does our food shopping, is an excellent cook, cleans the bathroom regularly and has had his fare share of nappy changes and caring for our son. According to him and his late DM, he never had dolls and pushchairs. But he was taught what's right and wrong and was being brought up to respect women. And I'm not saying it to make him sound extraordinary. To me it's normal. My DF was like this and so is my DB.

Again, apologies if I seem to be missing the point again but to me it's not that simple. This is a hugely complex subject.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

O must be imagining the Lego friends campervans, houses, boats and theme park rides. And the race track...

My dds who are not your average 'girly girls', love Lego friends. They have hours and hours of fun constructing and reconstructing the sets, there is no limit to their imagination and how they use these pieces and sets. The Lego friends range appeals to them much more than other Lego ranges. They love the colours and the figures, it's been one of the most amazing types of toys for them.

I would like to see the packaging and advertising for all toys feature a girl and a boy using the toy together. Yes, kids "like what they like", but when they see the adverts on TV of boys playing with the cars and girls playing with the hairdressing doll, what do they think? Those are the toys for my group. Of course there will be kids who don't care, but the vast majority care about "fitting in". And that means following the rules that you see and hear all around you. It doesn't have to say "boys" above the aisle in Tesco if all the pictures on the boxes are boys.

PearsandPartridge You think boys are "instinctively" drawn to cars and mechanics, and girls to pink, fluffy things?

Seriously?

@latebreakfast

It makes me laugh that some people think that useless husbands are the product of boys not playing with doll houses and broom sets as children.

Of course this doesn't produce useless husbands. But it most certainly produces very lovely husbands who believe that both they and their wife have certain pre-determined roles in life. Fine if you fit those roles and are happy with those outcomes. Less so if you don't

DS will out his teddy to sleep and will make sure it is comfortable. He will walk around with his teddy sheep, offering it drinks and food. He will help his dad tidy up after dinner and will go to the park on a Saturday afternoon with Daddy to give mummy some alone time. He will try and preserve all the spiders and ants and is the gentlest soul. He doesn't have a pushchair, never has he asked for one and most of his clothes are blue / brown and green.

I no longer have skin in the game, as my DDs are now in their 30s. But I’m glad they were young when all this gender stereotyping crap was much less pronounced.
DD1 loved Lego and Thomas the Tank engine. She has a maths degree and works in risk analysis. I think girls nowadays need to be very strong minded to fight the pressure to conform to fluffy pink stuff, or risk being labelled a trans boy.

@CatJumperTwat

PearsandPartridge You think boys are "instinctively" drawn to cars and mechanics, and girls to pink, fluffy things?

Seriously?

As a said, to an extent yes, I do believe that choice of toys are instinctive. To an extent being emphasised. The bit about mechanics and fluffy things are just a couple of examples from my immediate family, and by no mean a generalisation.

[quote PearsandPartridge]@Newrunner29 but you said it yourself, it's his Dad's fault. Him not providing healthy family dynamics or respecting his wife. Nothing to do toys! I'm not trying to argue, just saying how it comes across to me.
My DH is an only child who grow up closely with 3 boy cousins. He does our food shopping, is an excellent cook, cleans the bathroom regularly and has had his fare share of nappy changes and caring for our son. According to him and his late DM, he never had dolls and pushchairs. But he was taught what's right and wrong and was being brought up to respect women. And I'm not saying it to make him sound extraordinary. To me it's normal. My DF was like this and so is my DB.

Again, apologies if I seem to be missing the point again but to me it's not that simple. This is a hugely complex subject. [/quote]
I also agree its complex, but if the dad is very clearly saying his boys cannot play with 'girl toys' and he is not looking after his children because he doesn't see that as his job , where do u think he found that idea from? He clearly sees woman and men having sterotype roles and hes putting that on his children. Hes continuing the cycle by defining their play roles.

I dont believe child are instinctively drawn at all there was a documentary i will find it and they had babies in opposite sterotype clothes so girls were wearing blue and boys pink they put them in room with various people and put both sterotype toys cars and dolls, the adult in room would everytime give them the sterotype toy to each baby or comment on the baby liking a sterotype toy. It was fascinating to watch they did few other experiments just showing how not instinctively they are drawn