DH and I have no kids, nor any plans for any. Most Christmases we've been together, we've spent the day driving between my family, his family, and home - all of which are a good 1.5 hour drive from our house in precisely opposite directions, so e.g. one year we drove 1.5 hours from home to see DH's mum for a couple of hours, then 3 hours to my mum's for a few hours, then 1.5 hours home.
DH's mum sadly passed away a while ago, so we no longer have any Christmas Day requirements to drive that way - just my mum. His dad and my dad both don't really do much for Christmas, and we tend to get a pub visit in with each dad (also in 2 - different from the mums - locations) between Christmas and new year.
But last year, because of the Covid rules, we stayed at home. And it was lovely. We got drunk, made an amazing Christmas dinner, stayed in our PJs all day, and generally just did Christmas how I loved it as a kid - no getting dressed, just being cosy and comfy and watching films.
My mum hasn't mentioned Christmas this year, but I know she will be assuming we'll go there for a good chunk of the day - she wouldn't be hard work if we didn't, but I know she'd be a bit sad for it just to be her and my still-at-home sibling. She has in the past recalled her and my dad's first Christmas just the two of them, before we were born, so I know she wouldn't think it wildly unusual to do Christmas just the two of us.
But am I being cruel for considering it? I love my mum and don't want her to be sad - if it were just me I'd go there no question at all, but while DH and my family get on brilliantly it's a very small house, it's not his childhood home, and to both of us being in someone else's house for Christmas day is not the ideal setting. For me, it's home, but for him it's MIL's house.
I have suggested mum and sibling come to our (only slightly) bigger house, and we cook dinner here - that way we get a year of getting to wake up and not worry about having to drive, but my mum has a few MH conditions that mean she's not great with change or not being in her own space, and I know my sibling doesn't consider it Christmas unless they're at home.
So - when did you first have Christmas without either set of parents? Have you never done this and I'm an unfeeling witch? To those with children, did you do Christmas with families until children came along? I think that's my issue here - I don't feel like we have a reason to that isn't 'we'd just prefer not to', which I don't want my mum to feel hurt by, whereas if we had kids we'd have an excuse. But as we don't want kids ever, we could end up doing half-and-half Christmases forever!