To think that this is the saddest leaving and Christmas do ever?

[clary]

*lighthearted and I do realise there are more pressing issues, but:

I am leaving my current job at the end of next month. My boss said, oh, we've not set the date of the team Christmas meal, let's combine it with your leaving do. Great I thought, that's really nice of them to invite me back to the do in early Dec.

But no. A pool duly comes round for the week before I leave so it is end-ish November, and the meal will not be remotely Christmassy because none of the places have started Christmas menus then.

The chosen date is a Monday. And the time (as I asked when I went to book for dispiriting non festive pizza in a local pub)? Oh, 6pm.

So my work Christmas and leaving do is at 6pm on a Monday night in mid November - and it's actually before I even leave the role. I mean I know this team and it was never going to be cocktails and dancing on the tables that's why I'm going but still - this is a bit tragic isn't it?

I need to arrange a welcome-to-me do at my new office I think

Why not organise your own leaving do at a date/time and place of your choosing if you're not happy with what's planned?

Were you going to be leaving before Christmas?

Sorry I just read again! I think I feel its a bit tragic for your colleagues! Rubbish xmas party, okayish leaving do.

Hoping you will be invited to the Christmas meal at the new place. Sounds like you are doing the right thing in leaving.

Best leaving do i ever went to was warm cheap lager and kebabs on a picnic bench next to the parade square followed by the NAAFI Bop on a Thursday night in October, One of the best nights ever. Make your night one to remember OP

The chosen date is a Monday. And the time (as I asked when I went to book for dispiriting non festive pizza in a local pub)? Oh, 6pm.

That's when it starts. The table dancing is after.

That sounds much better than a Christmas meal to me and an early start means I could be home and in bed early. I do understand though OP if you would rather have a big night out. It’s a bit rubbish.

I'm getting old, so I don't get it. It sounds fine to me. But if you want something different, organise it as an extra thing.

I once left a job after 12 years in the role, and not only was nothing organised for me but on my last day all the directors and senior staff went for an extended lunch - so they didn't have to be there when I left!

As soon as the lovely receptionist, who had only been there a week, realised what they had planned she rushed out to get me flowers from her own pocket, and suggested I left early as had behaved appallingly!

Our Christmas menus start on the 18th November so it may well be Christmassy.

Dh left a job after FIFTEEN years and they gave him a card. That was all. Fuck em.

Interesting to see what the different office cultures are like - here it’s down to the person leaving to send round an email inviting everyone to leaving drinks at X pub at X time.

The line manager will then either arrange themselves or delegate to someone else to do the whip round for card/presents etc. But the “leaving do” is down to the leaver to organise.

Agree it’s poor form of the manager to combine it with the Christmas do for the others in the office.

@flotsomandjetsome

I once left a job after 12 years in the role, and not only was nothing organised for me but on my last day all the directors and senior staff went for an extended lunch - so they didn't have to be there when I left!

As soon as the lovely receptionist, who had only been there a week, realised what they had planned she rushed out to get me flowers from her own pocket, and suggested I left early as had behaved appallingly!

I once left a job after 18 years. As always, got on well with my colleagues etc.

I had to wait around for someone to come back from lunch so I could hand my car and laptop back!

Felt very valued. Not!

It depends on what's normal at your workplace. If a leaving do is normally a tequila-fuelled bacchanal till the early hours, complete with photocopying of arses and the sales director dancing on the table, then I get why you're upset. If it's normally low-key then I don't see the issue.

Think yourself lucky you'll have anything. I left my job last September after 33 years and, as we were all still WFH due to Covid, there was no get together. A short Zoom call in the afternoon, then turned my laptop off at 5:30pm. Felt very deflated afterwards.

If it makes you feel any better a lot of places are doing Christmas dos earlier this year so that there is time to isolate if the dreaded lurgy is caught. Ours is very early in December as many will not jeopardise their Christmas (completely reasonable) for a work do.

Yes I agree, it's a rubbish Christmas do in particular. Especially as none happened last year.

I don't get why the doodle poll wasn't for the week after, which is actually in December, and after I have left. Don't you normally have a leaving do after you leave? Or on the day you leave?

I can't organise my own, that would be really odd after this one has been set up. Just - Monday night at 6pm? woo hoo party on!

I worked for a large company for 10 years, when i was made redundant i didnt even got a card for leaving, nothing, just left the building at 4.30, handed in my pass to reception and well, that was it.

My manager was a bitch and didnt organise anything as it would mean doing some work, she did the same to 2 others who left a week after me.

Ah sorry more messages I didn't see. No idea what is normal as no one has left for a while, but it is the NHS so it's pretty stuck in the 1980s staid to be fair. Definitely no bachanal.

My last leaving do was from a school and we were, ahem, somewhat noted for lively events so it did not disappoint. I think it's the time I am most upset about. Who over the age of five eats dinner at 6pm?

Sorry to those leaving after many years who got no acknowledgement btw. I have only been there a few years - I mean I am not expecting cards and pressies at all.

From what you say, that suits a lot of your Team though, in terms of going out for Christmas.
Indeed, sounds much nicer to me than going out to a packed, mass produced Christmas night when the rest of the world are out on one of the 2 Fridays before Christmas.

If you want something different for your leaving do, then you need to crack on with arranging it.

I think it's totally normal to organise your own leaving drinks. And also totally normal for leaving dos to be while the person leaving is still employed.

Sounds like a nice leaving do to me? That's what we've always done in any teams I've worked in. Nice dinner out straight after work. And yes in last week or on last day of someone working there. I would not attend a piss up with dancing on tables etc style thing. And I'm relatively young...

I can't really organise a separate leaving do tho really, as that would be like saying - this 6pm November meal before I leave is a bit crap, so can everyone come out for dinner at 8pm on a Friday after I have left? I doubt they would come too - so bascially yes, this suits my colleagues! hah, more reasons to be glad I am leaving.

Leaving dos at my work (education) are usually either nothing, or a quiet small gathering in the pub after work one day, usually well before the person leaves (never after). Yours sounds entirely normal for where I work.

I'd love that! Ours is a 2 hour lunch break where we all bring a dish. It's always a Wednesday as that's when every part time worker is in.