To think that this is the saddest leaving and Christmas do ever?

[clary]

*lighthearted and I do realise there are more pressing issues, but:

I am leaving my current job at the end of next month. My boss said, oh, we've not set the date of the team Christmas meal, let's combine it with your leaving do. Great I thought, that's really nice of them to invite me back to the do in early Dec.

But no. A pool duly comes round for the week before I leave so it is end-ish November, and the meal will not be remotely Christmassy because none of the places have started Christmas menus then.

The chosen date is a Monday. And the time (as I asked when I went to book for dispiriting non festive pizza in a local pub)? Oh, 6pm.

So my work Christmas and leaving do is at 6pm on a Monday night in mid November - and it's actually before I even leave the role. I mean I know this team and it was never going to be cocktails and dancing on the tables that's why I'm going but still - this is a bit tragic isn't it?

I need to arrange a welcome-to-me do at my new office I think

Now I really don't get the "straight after work" thing. We are all remote, so it's not as tho we are all together in place A and then go out to nearby place B. That makes sense, but we all have to foregather from home and drive to the venue. I would rather have time to change and smarten myself up in that scenario. Also I will be starving at 10pm if I eat at 6.30pm.

That date/time/venue would be fine for just the leaving do, but a Christmas do...that's grim!

@clary

Now I really don't get the "straight after work" thing. We are all remote, so it's not as tho we are all together in place A and then go out to nearby place B. That makes sense, but we all have to foregather from home and drive to the venue. I would rather have time to change and smarten myself up in that scenario. Also I will be starving at 10pm if I eat at 6.30pm.

But it's a Monday...what are you doing at 22.00? I am now realising that maybe I am old after all.

I didn't get invited to the drinks that were happening on my last day at my last job. Bastards!

Interested to hear you are having a Christmas Meal and NHS. I work for an organisation in Social Care where they are not paying for a meal for us this year because they say we should not be socialising at all due to Covid. I might arrange a little something for my immediate team.

Don't you normally have a leaving do after you leave? Or on the day you leave? No, normal to have it when you're still there. Lunchtime of your last day so you can leave straight afterwards, or evening a few days before.

It sounds fine to me, tbh. Early on a weekday makes the most sense to me:

• it means people can go straight from work without having to go home first, or without having to wait around for an hour or so.
• most people don't want to have to do work events at weekends or waste their Friday nights on them either.
• most places have cheaper menus during the week too, or set menus that aren't available at weekends.
• better availability in the week/in November than later in the day in December.

I really don't see a problem. If you want something different, arrange it yourself or suggest it to your manager.

@ExConstance

Interested to hear you are having a Christmas Meal and NHS. I work for an organisation in Social Care where they are not paying for a meal for us this year because they say we should not be socialising at all due to Covid. I might arrange a little something for my immediate team.

Each person is paying for the meal. The Christmas menu aspect is a pain as it means it will be more expensive - a set meal for £22 at least makes the evening longer; I suspect people will order one course for £15 as there is no set menu.

We are allowed to socialise outside work. AT least I think so. That's a point actually, I will double check.

Monday at 10pm - I am up reading or watching TV. I don't go to bed early. And I am the oldest person on the team. If the others (203-30s-40s) are in bed for 9pm then that is really sad.

@icedcoffees we are not at work so going from work is a red herring. I do agree that a do close to work, especially if people live a way away, would be best to start at 5.30/6.

Also I don't see socialising and saying farewell to colleagues as a waste of a night, not even a Friday. I don't get out much tho, especially lately

[quote clary]@icedcoffees we are not at work so going from work is a red herring. I do agree that a do close to work, especially if people live a way away, would be best to start at 5.30/6.[/quote]
Maybe people have other reasons for preferring it to be early - public transport, childcare etc.

I still don't think 6pm is outrageously early for an after-work meal though!

Nah, saddest ever Christmas do was at my old company. Company decided to only pay half the amonout they usually do so manager booked a really shit pub to keep it in budget. No drinks allowed as we all had to go back to work afterwards. The pub was incapable of catering for the 30 people they took the booking for. We had Christmas dinner with no crackers, no roast potatoes, no stuffing and, worst of all, no desserts as they didn't have the time.

Think yourself lucky you'll have anything. I left my job last September after 33 years and, as we were all still WFH due to Covid, there was no get together. A short Zoom call in the afternoon, then turned my laptop off at 5:30pm. Felt very deflated afterwards.

I had exactly the same experience. Worked at the same place since the 1980s, then nothing.

@FatCatThinCat

Nah, saddest ever Christmas do was at my old company. Company decided to only pay half the amonout they usually do so manager booked a really shit pub to keep it in budget. No drinks allowed as we all had to go back to work afterwards. The pub was incapable of catering for the 30 people they took the booking for. We had Christmas dinner with no crackers, no roast potatoes, no stuffing and, worst of all, no desserts as they didn't have the time.

That is truly rubbish. Poor effort on the part of the pub and your manager. Tbh if that was the situation I would happily pay some money for it to be better - tho I guess you didn't know how bad it would be.

No one at my do has childcare issues as all have partner at home or no children. And everyone drives. I guess I wish someone had asked me what time I wanted it to be. I seem to be a bit of a lone voice on thinking 6pm is a bit unexcitingly early for dinner tho.

It’s funny how everyone views things so differently! 6pm would be perfect for me for dinner. I always had a long commute home so the idea of hanging around until 8pm to even start the evening would have been rubbish.

Hope you enjoy yourself OP even if it isn’t your ideal!

6pm can be a good time for a leaving do. No one who commutes to work want a 2 or 3 hour hiatus between the end of the office day and the start of the celebrations.

Eating at 6pm means there's time for a few hours of cocktails and dancing after dinner whilst still being able to get to bed at a reasonable timefod those who don't want the party lifestyle to destroy them too deeply. Nothing to stop a core of dedicated partyers from keeping going till 3am though.

People don't read what you post do they. I knew this so I don't know why I am surprised.

None of us commutes. We all work from home. We live in various places, where the do is taking place is central. No one lives more than 30 mins drive away. No one would be hanging around after work to come to a meal at 8pm - unless by hanging around you mean sitting on your sofa at home watching EastEnders, or having a luxurious bath before getting ready to go out.

Anyway. I am sure it will be nice, though I may have to make sure I have extensive snacks at home for later.

Commute or in this case no commute I’d be happy.

One of my colleagues had been in the role for 40 years, think of someone who saves lives on a regular basis but not a doctor and on not brilliant pay, he joined my department towards the end of his time working there, when he left, he sadly became seriously ill so was in hospital prior to his retirement, nothing was planned for him, not even a card or acknowledgement, eventually his daughter complained to higher up and he was honoured at an award ceremony, but it really didnt have to come to that, poor man was lovely too. I did suggest we do something for him but I was a temp at the time and I assumed something was in hand until I read his daughters comments in the paper.

I eat at 6pm. I get hungry! And I go out four nights a week to do sport so I have to eat before I go otherwise.

Eating early is also a good way of getting a table when they're booked out later on, too. And you often get a cheaper set menu.

And it's good after work - if you finish work at 5/5.30 you don't really want to be hanging around the office waiting to turn your computer off until 7 do you (I know you said you work for the NHS so maybe not an office job).

No one lives more than 30 mins drive away that is a commute.

If you didn't start the meal until 8, you won't be finished until 10 and then people have to drive home so wouldn't be home until maybe knocking on 10.45/11.

Start at 6, people who want to can be home by 8.30ish and those who want to have a few drinks (and get a taxi home or whatever) can do.

Are wild work weekends something that is standard for your team?

You’ve said yourself if you organised something at 8pm on a Friday you doubt they would come. Combine that with you being the oldest in the team I think it’s obvious why they’ve organised a fairly sedate night.

Oh, I could write a book about terrible leaving and/or Christmas do's I've attended (including some of my own). I was starting to think my friends and colleagues who just slip away in the dead of night have the right idea even before COVID-19...the best ones have usually been a pleasant meal, with drinks, and a small gift that takes into account my likes and dislikes (e.g. aromatherapy set, nice book, "make believe" Ikea vouchers, some Japanese lacquered bowls) and a nice card with fun comments. Or people bringing in cakes etc and drifting in and out for an hour or so on the last afternoon.

I handed my notice in February 2020 - sent to work from home mid march, left in April. No leaving do at all as everyone was working from home. I'd been there 20 years. So no, you don't get any sympathy from me.

@clary

I can't really organise a separate leaving do tho really, as that would be like saying - this 6pm November meal before I leave is a bit crap, so can everyone come out for dinner at 8pm on a Friday after I have left? I doubt they would come too - so bascially yes, this suits my colleagues! hah, more reasons to be glad I am leaving.

I’m NHS ... not known anyone to have a leaving do in the evening.....we have had lunch buffets....or lunches out....but never an evening do....I know for a fact no one would go.....we all like each other well enough....but not enough to want to spend time with each other out of working hours