To think that this is the saddest leaving and Christmas do ever?

[clary]

*lighthearted and I do realise there are more pressing issues, but:

I am leaving my current job at the end of next month. My boss said, oh, we've not set the date of the team Christmas meal, let's combine it with your leaving do. Great I thought, that's really nice of them to invite me back to the do in early Dec.

But no. A pool duly comes round for the week before I leave so it is end-ish November, and the meal will not be remotely Christmassy because none of the places have started Christmas menus then.

The chosen date is a Monday. And the time (as I asked when I went to book for dispiriting non festive pizza in a local pub)? Oh, 6pm.

So my work Christmas and leaving do is at 6pm on a Monday night in mid November - and it's actually before I even leave the role. I mean I know this team and it was never going to be cocktails and dancing on the tables that's why I'm going but still - this is a bit tragic isn't it?

I need to arrange a welcome-to-me do at my new office I think

@SmallPrawnEnergy

Are wild work weekends something that is standard for your team?

You’ve said yourself if you organised something at 8pm on a Friday you doubt they would come. Combine that with you being the oldest in the team I think it’s obvious why they’ve organised a fairly sedate night.

hahaha that literally made me lol. Do you mean they have organised it starting at 6pm because I am so old?

No, a wild anything is not standard in my team. But I am not so old that I need to have my tea at 6pm and be in bed by 8.30pm, heaven help us. To me a good evening out is not one where I can be home in time for University Challenge. Clearly I am in a minority tho.

Sorry again to those who have worked somewhere a long time and received no acknowledgement when they left. That's bobbins.

Can’t see what the problem is?
Unless the entire team was the party type wouldn’t want it on a Thursday/ Friday
An early dinner means an early night for those who have other commitments .fair

Also OP this isn’t a good evening out by your standards. With your friends. It’s a professional function people have to attend whether they like it or not.

None of us commutes. We all work from home. We live in various places, where the do is taking place is central. No one lives more than 30 mins drive away. No one would be hanging around after work to come to a meal at 8pm - unless by hanging around you mean sitting on your sofa at home watching EastEnders, or having a luxurious bath before getting ready to go out.

I think you're missing the point that some people are making, though.

A 30 minute drive is still an hour of driving there and back after a full day of work, and if the booking isn't until 8pm, you're stuck waiting around at home for 90 minutes before driving there (and back) in the dark.

Whereas an early meal means people can escape home at 6pm if they want, and those who want to stay out later and go to a bar/pub/club can do so.

Whereas an early meal means people can escape home at 6pm if they want, and those who want to stay out later and go to a bar/pub/club can do so.

That should say escape home at 8pm, sorry!

As you can see from this thread alone, the majority think a 6pm, midweek meal is ideal for socialising with work colleagues.
You have even said yourself that you doubt if people would come if it started at 8pm on a Friday. I would have expired from hunger by then

I agree with most posters that people (in all places I have worked) tend to arrange their own leaving do and it is always in the week they leave, not after they have gone. I've been to 'bring a dish and we'll have it at work' dos and 'go out to lunch dos' and 'go out from work (ie a 6 ish start) dos'. I have also been to 'lets meet up on a Fri or Sat night in town' dos', as generally, it is the choice of the person leaving. We all work in different places, but it still works well for a lot of people to go to eat at a time most people would normally eat anyway (6 ish meet - you won't eat until 6.30 or later), but if that isn't what you want, you can still invite people to another do 'as well as' the Christmas do.

@Sausagedogsarethebest

Think yourself lucky you'll have anything. I left my job last September after 33 years and, as we were all still WFH due to Covid, there was no get together. A short Zoom call in the afternoon, then turned my laptop off at 5:30pm. Felt very deflated afterwards.

That’s a shame as pubs and restaurants were fully open last September.

I got a phone call 3 months after I left asking if I'd like them to arrange a leaving do. I told them they'd missed the boat. It was sad as I was retiring.

@clary

Yes I agree, it's a rubbish Christmas do in particular. Especially as none happened last year.

I don't get why the doodle poll wasn't for the week after, which is actually in December, and after I have left. Don't you normally have a leaving do after you leave? Or on the day you leave?

I can't organise my own, that would be really odd after this one has been set up. Just - Monday night at 6pm? woo hoo party on!

Never have I ever worked somewhere that has leaving parties after the person’s last day. That’s very unusual.

Ok seems fair enough IABU. Thode who say organise your own, if I'd known it would be Monday 6pm I might have done. Can't now tho.

I fully accept that a leaving do is before you leave then, tbf the only one I can recall before this (quite a late and lively one) was pre my leaving date but that's bc I left on 22 Dec (,school). Even I don't want a night out on 23 Dec

Job before that I was made redundant so never had a do.

I do think tho, that if people are coming out of some kind of professional obligation, as one pp suggested, or that they want to get home as quickly as possible, I honestly would prefer us all not to bother and save our money

@clary

Ok seems fair enough IABU. Thode who say organise your own, if I'd known it would be Monday 6pm I might have done. Can't now tho.

I fully accept that a leaving do is before you leave then, tbf the only one I can recall before this (quite a late and lively one) was pre my leaving date but that's bc I left on 22 Dec (,school). Even I don't want a night out on 23 Dec

Job before that I was made redundant so never had a do.

I do think tho, that if people are coming out of some kind of professional obligation, as one pp suggested, or that they want to get home as quickly as possible, I honestly would prefer us all not to bother and save our money

How big is your team anyway?

@TractorAndHeadphones pretty small, not sure what difference that makes tho

[quote clary]@TractorAndHeadphones pretty small, not sure what difference that makes tho[/quote]
Because a leaving do depends on the team culture.
My current team is small but all enjoy pub dinner and night out so that's what we would do. But if we had even a few people who were not that type the 'professional', work organised do would be at an early time so that those who wanted to leave early could, and the rest carry on. Or have a separate do as friends for the proper night out ;) In larger teams this is always the case as you can't please everyone and out of say 10 people not every single one may be best buds with the person leaving. They may like them, but not want to spend an evening out with them (or any other human for that matter)

If my team organised something like this I'd be bemused - but you've already said your team isnt't the party type. Maybe get your closest colleagues together for a private do

*also to add not leave early - but leave to be back in time for bed at say 10:30

I've always had my leaving dos on the day I left. Much more fun, and final.