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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel awkward around kids?

100 replies

donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:18

Just that really. I feel very, very awkward around children.

I don't know what to say to them or what to do - and find it quite dull keeping up pretend conversations and laughter out of politeness.

I don't mind babies, when they are just present and not talking but once they reach 2 years and older, I just find it awkward until they're 10 and older. Ages 2-10 I find communication real difficult! And dull.

Is this a sign I shouldn't be a parent because I keep being told it's different when they're you're own.

Is that true, Or is it equally awkward and boring even when they're your own?

OP posts:
BaublesAndGlitter · 28/10/2021 21:27

Do you have any young children in your immediate family OP?
I ask because all my friends had babies around the same time and like you, once they got to the stage where they could almost talk but their parents had to tell me what they were saying etc, I found it very hard going. I wasn't comfortable in knowing how to handle them and some of the tantrums I witnessed were unbelievable, and its hard because the parents expect you to be as interested and enthusiastic as they are.

But, my sister now has 3 children, and I'm not sure of its because I see them so often or what but they're just easier. I even make a complete arse of myself by singing and dancing with them now, and enjoy it so I fully believe that it's different when they're your own (I'm unfortunately not lucky enough to experience that).

JorisBonson · 28/10/2021 21:30

I'm with you OP. One of the many reasons I'm childfree by choice. I much prefer adult conversation!

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:30

Yes I do have young children in my immediate family and admittedly it's much less awkward so you're right maybe it's that / how much time you spend around them that makes a difference?

But I am really unenthusiastic with others kids and it really worries me! I have zero interest in them and just find it so boring lol.

But I do want my own. Hope I'm not sounding crazy.

OP posts:
user64323 · 28/10/2021 21:31

I think it's just lack of experience? I remember feeling like that as an older child and teenager, I was the youngest in my large family and none of my friends has younger siblings. But then my oldest sibling had children and that awkward feeling went away. If it's not that then maybe kids just aren't for you.

Rosesareyellow · 28/10/2021 21:31

Is that true, Or is it equally awkward and boring even when they're your own?

No, it’s completely different when it’s your own.

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:32

and like I say it's that age of 2-10 that is really zero interest. I actually really like teenagers lol much more stimulating than those younger years.

I also really like babies it's just that middle stage that really bores me to tears and I don't find cute at all, just mostly annoying 😬

OP posts:
TurnUpTurnip · 28/10/2021 21:32

I have my own children and still think awkward around other people’s... teens are worse though 😂

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:33

@TurnUpTurnip

I have my own children and still think awkward around other people’s... teens are worse though 😂
This is positive to hear! I'm not weird and strange then
OP posts:
3scape · 28/10/2021 21:33

You don't sound as though you'd take to it. No big thing really.

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:33

It's honestly fills me with dread when someone says the kids are coming, I feel awful but it's true 😑

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/10/2021 21:34

Your own children aren’t dull (most of the time - until they want to show you their Minecraft worlds)

Other people’s usually are

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:34

@3scape

You don't sound as though you'd take to it. No big thing really.
But is disliking eight years really a deal breaker!?

On MN people commonly say they detest certain years of parenting and find some harder than others?

OP posts:
Megan2018 · 28/10/2021 21:34

I haven’t a clue what to say to other people’s children. I’d never held a baby or changed a nappy before I had mine.
My daughter is the best thing I’ve ever done, but I’m still not keen on kids generally.
I almost didn’t have any because I’m not broody but as it turns out I’m a pretty good parent and really enjoy it.

TurnUpTurnip · 28/10/2021 21:35

That should be feel* tbh I’ve never really been keen on kids so that’s probably why, I like my own though luckily!

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:35

@Megan2018

I haven’t a clue what to say to other people’s children. I’d never held a baby or changed a nappy before I had mine. My daughter is the best thing I’ve ever done, but I’m still not keen on kids generally. I almost didn’t have any because I’m not broody but as it turns out I’m a pretty good parent and really enjoy it.
This is very positive to hear @Megan2018 thank you!
OP posts:
Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:36

Also just realised the title of my thread makes me sound like a weirdo 🤣

OP posts:
galacticpixels · 28/10/2021 21:36

I find it easy to talk to my nieces but I'm extremely awkward around any other children. I still want children of my own though!

Strangevipers · 28/10/2021 21:36

"is it equally awkward and boring even when they're your own?"

No, you get the funny times with them and a lot of love from them

Tiredofthis21 · 28/10/2021 21:37

I'm completely the same with other people's children, but absolutely adore talking to and spending time with dd. Doesn't matter if it's a family member or a playmate, after about 5 minutes I sort of want to pat them on the head and say off you go! I don't obviously.

Luxembourgmama · 28/10/2021 21:37

I was exactly the same until I had kids

HelplessProcrastinator · 28/10/2021 21:37

I don't get on with other people's children. I was a shy and awkward child who didn't understand my peers. My own two are bloody awesome and funny. I love their company. Nothing awkward about our relationship at all. I think working saved my sanity though as I selfishly need my own space from them at times.

I'm still not great with other children. I tolerate them so my DC have a social life. They are 14 and 11 and I love how they don't need me when friends are around, apart from dishing out pizza and ice-cream.

Turtles4543 · 28/10/2021 21:37

I’m rubbish at talking with children but absolutely fine with my own

Original poster
donemeover · 28/10/2021 21:42

This is all very positive to hear, thank you to all of you Grin

OP posts:
Thepennysjustdropped · 28/10/2021 21:43

I do feel a bit awkward with other people's kids. They can be a bit direct and disarming - you don't get the subtlety you get with adults, so they will ask, "Why is that lady so fat?" etc, so I suppose it's the unpredictability I don't like. But, OTOH it's great if you can get them excited about something, a story or insect or whatever. But I do find it wearing after a while.

liveforsummer · 28/10/2021 21:43

People do think their own are wonderful - you only have to read half the posts on here to see that - and you will too. Toddler to pre teen kids are a pain though ngl, although at 8.5 dd2 can be pretty entertaining so it might be shorter than you think (she was a right pain previously 😆)