To find this behaviour utterly illogical?

[DrSeuss]

Surely if you ban your child from having anything to do with Harry Potter to the extent that they can’t attend a Hogwarts themed birthday party and don’t allow them to celebrate Halloween at all, all on the grounds that the Bible forbids magic and witchcraft, you can’t then allow the child free access to “The Wizard of Oz” or hold a Peter Pan themed party or one with an Elsa from Frozen in costume? The book of Deuteronomy does indeed forbid magic according to Google. I find it firstly nonsensical and also a nightmare to navigate as the parent of such a child’s friend. Newest one is that David Walliams books are OK except for “The Demon Dentist “. I have no issue with people believing whatever makes them happy and would describe myself as having a Christian faith ( not very observant but still familiar with all the teachings of the C of E). The parents are C of E too but of a very different type to either my family or the Anglican school where I work, both being pretty accepting of all shades of belief. It’s quite tricky when my daughter and theirs want to spend time together. Something such as a simple cinema visit becomes so complicated when a film which has a suitable certificate for primary age children must still be pre approved in case it contains a forbidden theme. This is made even harder when Disney magic is deemed fine but others may not be.
Ideally, I would like someone with greater theological knowledge than me or who also believes that portrayals of magic in popular culture are wrong to help me understand and maybe give me some guidelines. I did once try asking why Disney was fine but Harry Potter wasn’t but the mother didn’t really answer me, just said that’s how it is. I asked the child as gently as possible if she was aware of why she can watch the witches in Oz but she said quite frankly that she didn’t know.

I am frustrated by the woolliness of their arguments and the arbitrary nature of decisions but this girl is a good friend of my daughter’s and is a pleasant child so I persevere.

I really hope someone can advise me.

@Platax

I did once try asking why Disney was fine but Harry Potter wasn’t but the mother didn’t really answer me, just said that’s how it is

I suggest you press her on that one, if necessary quoting the relevant bit of Deuteronomy at her and asking her exactly why it doesn't apply to Disney witches etc. If people want to impose their views on others to the extent of making their lives difficult if they don't guess right about which piece of irrationality they adhere to, they really need to be in a position to explain themselves properly.

I mentioned before that I can see why it could be. One may be seen as more lighthearted, harmless, "good witch", fun type of magic and the other is more scary, serious, gory or shadowy magic. So it could be based on fear and superstition that's often prevalent in some doctrines.

Also agree with Rosesareyellow

I would respect religious beliefs to a point. For example not serving up food that they couldn’t have but I wouldn’t allow it to dedicate ever aspect of a play date. I think this is often the point of all these rules they keep people segregated. I had an orthodox Jewish friend and it was impossible to do anything without some sort of issue. I definitely wouldn’t enforce things like girls covering their hair or other sexist stuff.

Didn't JKR say it was based on her personal theology?

But to me how can someone think of fairies as dangerous fiction but God as fact? This sort of splitting hairs over superstitions is why there's so much religious infighting. If people stuck to evidence based beliefs a lot of things would be safer.

What sort of things does your DD when she has a play date at the friends house?

But to me how can someone think of fairies as dangerous fiction but God as fact?
I'm not trying to be rude but have you even tried to understand? It's not "dangerous fiction", it's about supernatural powers which are from the devil, just as God's powers are good. It's the flip side. They believe the occult is real and harmful and can pretend to be harmless to open the mind to the devil.
Obviously I don't believe it but if you want to query if it's consistent on not it's worth googling etc to see what the belief actually is.

You could point out that the Harry Potter books are full of Christian theology themes (intentionally). The resurrection stone, Harry sacrificing himself and coming back to life, good versus evil. Even the idea that drinking a unicorn's blood = living forever is based on a medieval mythology that has the unicorn as a symbol of Christ. You drink his blood (Eucharist), you live forever (eternal life). That's why you see unicorns engraved in medieval churches.
Or, you could just give up and hope the friendship wanes.

At their house, they bake, play Roblox or watch approved DVDs. I think the friendship will wane when they go to different schools next year. My daughter has other friends who she goes to places or has over to the house and will hopefully make friends at her new school. But I feel for this child whose life, entertainment and even diet are very regimented. Her eyes light up when I produce anything sweet. Obviously, sweets need regulating but it is telling to me that she is so excited by them and tends to eat as much as she can as things such as biscuits are rare. Even the fact that I let them just wonder around a room at the museum without needing to follow them was met with glee. Maybe the issue is as much about control as religion?

Never try to argue with stupid.
They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Mark Twain.

Don't forget the people, mostly women and children who are murdered today for being "witches" or Possessed by witchcraft". I'm thinking of the small unidentified boy in London several years ago.

So enjoying magic is out "sinful" but worshipping an invisible supernatural being that is responsible for the death of millions in the Old Testament alone (do the body count) is fine. Go figure.

Don’t try and apply logic to people who believe in such nonsense

Christianity makes no sense. A story about God killing everyone but saving the animals and a few people is approved family fun! Scary silly stuff for Halloween equals pure evil! I grew up in it and feel sorry for children stuck in these situations.

Re the Wizard of Oz, I'm kind of surprised they allow that, because it turns out that the magic wizard is really a man behind the curtain...

Turning water into wine and raising the dead isn't some sort of hocus pocus then? If that's not magic then what is?

Don’t try and apply logic to people who believe in such nonsense

I can see how it is frustrating though - I suppose if they wanted to have nothing to do with any magic related things there would be a logic behind it (an illogical kind of logic, I’ll admit, but you would understand their train of thought even if you thought it nonsense and didn’t agree). But arbitrarily picking and choosing which elements of ‘magic’ are acceptable without being able to explain why and expecting others to make adjustments and allowances for this is just insane. It’s like a Muslim saying they don’t drink alcohol - makes sense. Then another Muslim comes along and says ‘yes, we don’t drink alcohol. No we do drink martinis, that’s fine. And lager. No, not ale, why would you offer ale? That’s so offensive. I can’t explain why I think lager is ok but not ale, we just don’t drink it, it’s not permitted…no I said we don’t drink any alcohol. Where’s my lager?!…’ no logic. Except that in Islam this doesn’t happen. Not that I’ve heard of anyway. Not drinking alcohol isn’t a big deal for me - but I can certainly see the logic behind not drinking it for your beliefs.
These ‘Christians’ the OP is talking about just seem to be making up their own bizarre and inconsistent rules. I think they probably get a kick out of people like the OP trying to good willingly accommodate and navigate their whims which they dress up as religious beliefs.

OP,

You sound so kind and generous.

I had my children later and have found my tolerance for high maintenance parents has diminished enormously the older I have gotten.

I responded to any demands with a super polite response that I completely respected their wishes and understood that they were UNABLE to join us.

The back tracking was SUPER entertaining 🤣.

There were only ever a couple of these parents in any of my children's classes and the knew VERY quickly not to mess with me, as I simply would neither engage nor entertain.

@RaraRachael

We had a very religious family in our school and the kids weren't allowed to use the computer or do anything to do with dinosaurs. The little boy said that the parents crossed out anything to do with dinosaurs as they didn't exist.

We had a family like that in my school too! Also nothing that implied the world was any older than 600 years old. So no romans, Vikings or mediaeval history. And nothing about reproduction, even plant/animal reproduction, which made for interesting biology lessons (she spent a lot of time in the library). Family of nutcases. They also had handmade shoes and clothes due to concerns about capitalism, but still happily sent their kids to private school.

The oldest child leaned right into it, so ended up a target of bullying. The younger kid was pretty normal and seemed embarrassed by it all.

I grew up in one of those weird religions families. I was slightly too old for Harry Potter but there were lots of other strict and illogical rules about what media I could and couldn't consume. Halloween and anything related to Christmas or Easter that wasn't strictly bible-based and Jesus- centred was completely off limits. There were also issues with secular music, almost every movie, most normal clothes, lots of perfectly nice and normal children's books, and food (parents were weird health nuts in addition to being super religious). It was also all quite abusive - for example, being grounded on multiple occasions from literally every activity aside from chores, homework, and reading the bible for months at a time as punishment for minor infractions like talking to a boy on the telephone, having all clothes taken away except for one outfit that I had to wear to school every day (didn't have uniform where I grew up), and spending the entirety of my teenage years without a bedroom door.

If you can, please don't cut children like me out of your life and stop your own kids from seeing them. Please try to be a little generous. The non-religious friends (and their parents) who held on in spite of how difficult my parents made it were my lifeline and I am always grateful that they put up with my parent's bullshit so I could escape my weird, dark, joyless home now and again.

(religious, not religions, obviously)

Thanks, Billy. Working with Sen kids makes you tolerant of eccentric behaviour! But I do see some signs that I wonder about in the parents. I don’t know nearly enough to offer a valid opinion but the control and intractability are familiar.

You don’t need to understand their way of thinking or find theological arguments to agree or disagree with their point of view.

Your child has all the time in the world ( apart from the time they spend with this girl) to watch Harry Potter and any other magic you want her to watch.

I do think it’s rather mean of you to ask the girl to explain the reasoning behind her parents decisions tbh. Why wizard of oz snd not Harry Potter? Ask her parents. Or better still, just accept their beliefs if you want your child to hang out with theirs. Or don’t let them hang out. It can’t be that hard

@Aquamarine1029

Sorry, but pandering to these ridiculous people is a fool's game. My daughter would have to find another friend because there is no way I am changing my values and lifestyle to accommodate anyone's religious nonsense and hypocrisy.

I agree with this!

The book of Deuteronomy does indeed forbid magic

Indeed but Christians don't follow the OT rules because Christ overturned them (Mark 7:15, Matt 15:12).

Their beliefs are not Christian, they are just a random superstition which is common in some happy-clappy churches. If you fancy having some fun it would be easy to find references to teach them the actual Christan position.