I’m at the end of my tether and not sure what to do.
My mother and I have never had a good relationship. She is very selfish and self absorbed. She’s an alcoholic. She has no friends and no relationship with any non immediate family as she drives everyone away. If you don’t agree with everything she says you’re shouted at. My father and her lived apart for some years but he was loyal to her to the end. My mother treated my father like a piece of shit too, he was her whipping boy and he put up with it. I only spoke to her because my dad would moan at me if I didn’t so I did it to keep him happy as I was very close to my father.
My dad died quite suddenly last month. I haven’t been able to grieve properly. I understand my mum is upset but she doesn’t seem to understand that myself and my siblings are grieving too. She just sits and drinks all the time and expects everyone to run around after her. I am the only one with children and I am a single parent. I’m self employed to had to go back to work the week after the funeral. If you don’t phone every day she moans at me. She hardly ever answers the phone but complains that I don’t phone her. Not once has she asked how I am feeling about my dad. Everything is about her, I told her last night my son had been very upset the other day and she just started talking about herself. I don’t think she’ll be happy until I’m waiting on her hand and foot. Every phone conversation drains me completely. I have no one I can talk to about my father, I miss him dreadfully. She even said to my brother that no one is as upset as her. I just know that this will be her to the end of her days, sitting drinking and lambasting everyone. She never asks about the children but expects us to give up our weekends sitting in her smoky living room listening to her going on about herself and bitching about everyone.
There’s no point in talking to her, any time anyone has done this in the past she goes absolutely mental, she is always right and everyone else is wrong. I really want to just walk away from her, she’s never been a mother to me and is like a noose round my neck. AIBU