Office 'collections'

[GreenApples1977]

I work in an office of around 16, all women.
There's always a collection going round, someone leaving, birthdays etc however this has recently been including those on long term sick leave, moving house, wedding anniversaries and new babies and almost anything really.
Whilst I don't mind contributing to birthdays, all these collections for a card and gifts are starting to bite into my limited income.

Some of us are on much lower salaries, some are single, whilst many have a partner on a generous salary so this doesn't impact them. I think what's got to me now is the suggestion of buying a senior manager (think on over £100K) a present because he's been feeling down, so we've all been asked to give £2.

How do others deal with this? Obviously you only need to give as much as you can afford, but this is costing quite a lot per year and I'm starting to resent it.

AIBU to ask for an overhaul on this generosity?

Perhaps you need to make it known to the chief collector that you’re felling down and anxious about money.

YANBU it gets so out of hand doesn't it. Do you have an appraisal or anything coming up where you can raise the issue?
When I worked under a monster of a boss she designated me as the person to start card collections. I worked out I was spending £20 per month on cards alone, then I would have to put in some coins to get it going. I spoke to her boss about it and he allowed me to claim back for the cards on expenses.

Omg I could’ve written your post!

I DETEST doing collections for trivial things. If it’s a big birthday or someone leaving, going on maternity then fine. But when it’s for someone who’s ‘been feeling down’ then sorry but no!
Problem is my office is full of self important judgy bitches which means if you refuse to put in you’ll be the subject of their whispering 🙄🙄 These same women were expecting people for fork out over £100 of our own money for a Christmas party before they got overruled!

Urgh I need a new job!

Oh God, it sounds lovely but in reality it's a pain. I just said don't include me in them and gave my own gifts to people I was close to
I bet others are in the same boat as you

I think that you need to suggest that collections are made for only set occasions. At my work it’s a significant birthday, new baby and bereavement only.

Say you can't afford to join in every collection. There may be others feeling the same.

I refuse. I ask not to be collected for either.

God I hate office collectinons, especially in a place with such a broad wage spectrum. Also who does an office collection for one of the highest paid people just because they feel a bit down.. Bloody ridiculous. Though I do love the idea that a pp said about telling them you feel down.. Play them at their own game and make some money back. 😉

@GreenApples1977

Hallelujah I've found more people like me!

Same in my office except worse now we all hot desk and so 12-13 people has stretched out to about 25-30 people.

Birthdays £5 each!!!
Secret Santa
Babies
New houses
COVID doorstep boxes one girl is obsessed with (we work in a hospital - need I say more!!)
Ordering cake-always when people feel down

It all gets out of hand

We've got part time band 2's with the most senior being a full time band 6 which is a huge difference in people's income.

I've put the cat amongst the pigeons tho I've said next year like secret Santa (which was originally £30 but we got this down to £10!!!)

We have "secret birthday"

So We've written all the birthdays down on bits of paper and everyone pulls one out and is responsible for getting all card and everyone to sign but also only spending £10 on one birthday gift

Hoping it goes better!

*collections

I guess people know how much you contribute when it's wfh and done online. But when it's done in person it should be an ebvelope that you contribute how much you want into and no one knows, so you could put in 5-20p in if you want & still stick your name on the front as collection envelope goes round the desks. No one should be standing over you telling you how much to put in!

I put in £1 if I want to - for big things like a landmark birthday or a baby- not even normal birthdays - unless it's a close friend and sometimes i just write my name or sign the card. We take it in turns to buy the next person's birthday card so that bit is covered.

Zero chance I'd put in £2 per birthday (team of 18) & all the other events! Couldn't afford it.

In our team the aim is to have enough to buy an box of chocolates or some flowers if someone is on long term sick or in hospital. And maybe a bottle of wine or candle at least if is a big birthday.

So really that's half the people putting in 50p-£1 - if there's more £££ a bigger pressie can be bought or someone close to them tops it up & gets clever with gift buying on Amazon prime! We don't do usual birthdays except for card.

YANBU - it is the same where I work and it is tricky to navigate without appearing tight

I don't mind contributing for a significant birthday, retirement or baby but it gets ridiculous when flowers are being sent every time someone is off sick

I hate this! It starts off well meaning but gets out of hand.

At my job, I was asked to find a maternity present for a senior leader. Found a lovely white company thing for about £60…. No apparently we were supposed to spend about £250! Other people got involved and we ended up sending something like 3 candles, 2 scarves and bath stuff.

I couldn’t believe it - it felt gross and excessive.

Maybe suggest to your manager that these constant money collections are getting out of hand. And suggest alternatives like those suggested already on this thread. Work shouldn't be making these things cause financial hardship nor expected contributions. It is and always should be voluntary.

Yep! We have 40 staff and people start collections for everything. 4 weddings in the last couple of months! And people putting in £5 each! Then there's birthdays, people leaving, having babies, moving house, getting engaged, passing their driving test. Secret Santa, Easter eggs, collections for a Christmas hamper. And we only earn minimum wage or so! Apprentice staff on about £4 an hour. Fuck sake!

£5 contributions??!!!!
I do that only for a close friend for a big event!!!

It really ought be anonymous donations and THEN add up what has been collected to decide what can be bought.

£250 from work for a baby or wedding gift??? Jeeeezzzz
I thought myself VERY lucky that I got bought a £40 gift for my first baby from work. And I'm sure most of that was from my close group of work friends with a few others contributing a £1 here or there from a team then of 12.

Could you ask your manager for a payrise and say the contributions are denting your income?

We used to do birthday club, so everyone who wanted to gave £2 a month. And you got a birthday present and card. It fizzled out over lockdown and we didn't set up again this year.

Any collections now I only contribute if it's someone I know eg supervisor, or someone I like. I rarely contribute to fundraising either.

I sound mean but it really does add up over a year if it's a couple of quid here, a fiver there...

Ours is very hit and miss. So one woman we had a collection as she was going on a two month holiday. Some get significant birthday collections but others are missed entirely.

I hate it too. Work in a large office of NHS staff. Last month there were x2 people leaving and somebody getting married. Then x2 people wanted sponsorship for something. The expectation was to put £10 into these collections. I declined, I have had a huge arrears of pension taken off me and am watching every penny but it makes you seem really mean when everybody else offers.

We do a collection fund - £12 a year upfront covers all collections and stops the hassle. You can opt out but wouldn't get anything if your life event warranted a collection.

If you like the idea suggest it. I personally love it.

We've recently put a stop to this, we've agreed to only do collections for significant birthdays and life events (babies and weddings) it was an awkward conversation but needed to happen, we're also a team with a wide range of salary levels.

At my workplace they have a system where you pay a subscription (currently £20) once a year, and all gifts come out of that budget. I much prefer it, you aren’t constantly being nagged for contributions that way!

Might be worth asking if something like that could be implemented?

I feel grateful my company has a budget for this stuff, so the company pays for gifts for new babies and significant birthdays, no need for a collection. Ditto for major illnesses or life events. Staff get their birthday day off so no need for juniors to have to dip in their meagre pockets to contribute to anything.

I only ever put into one collection when I worked at my old place. That was because I liked the person and I felt she was going through such a tough time it was the least I could do. Most cards that went round I didn’t even know who the person was so I just signed it.