Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken my sweet time on purpose...

142 replies

FTM91 · 27/10/2021 18:17

(light-hearted just curious) In a service station McDonald's car park changing my baby on the front seat, so door open and me tending to her meant the space next to us couldn't be used (if that was completely unreasonable of me then fine)

The car park however was probably about 70% full...there were at least 6 empty spaces I could see from where I was standing and then some.

Woman drives in and decides she wants the space I'm stood in. She pulls half way in and REVS her engine loudly to make herself known. This pisses me off, so I take my time making sure every single thigh roll is sparkling clean, carefully apply barrier cream, put on new nappy...you get the gist. I then pick her up so revving lady can see I have a baby to faff with and maybe would wish to choose a different space. Nope she chose to sit there the entire time we strapped in and settled baby into the car seat. When she pulled in she gave me the weirdest sarcastic smile.

So:

YABU: Woman should be able to park wherever she chooses and if she wants to rev her engine and wait then so be it.

YANBU: any normal person would have just gone to a different space once they realised, and the revving was rude.

OP posts:
LettertoHermoine · 27/10/2021 19:08

I would have done what I needed to do within the time I always do it. To prolong it and deliberately take ages is just petty and delays both of you. Stupid.

Pandaly · 27/10/2021 19:10

Could she see the other spaces?
Was the space next to you easy to drive into but the others need a bit more maneuvering?
Was she actually smiling sarcastically or just smiling and you've read too much into it?

She shouldn't have revved but waiting is fine.

Pandaly · 27/10/2021 19:11

Bit silly to expose baby to the cold longer than needed to make a point though.

FOJN · 27/10/2021 19:13

Goodness me, did making her wait feel like winning to you? It all sounds very petty.

There was an empty space and she quite reasonably wanted to use it. What did you know about the driver which made you decide your needs should take priority over theirs?

Seriously avoid the tension next time, indicated you're going to be a moment and let the other driver decide if they want to wait or move on. Why would you chose to go slow and inconvenience them further when you are already inconveniencing other drivers by using two spaces.

NotMyCat · 27/10/2021 19:15

@FOJN

Goodness me, did making her wait feel like winning to you? It all sounds very petty.

There was an empty space and she quite reasonably wanted to use it. What did you know about the driver which made you decide your needs should take priority over theirs?

Seriously avoid the tension next time, indicated you're going to be a moment and let the other driver decide if they want to wait or move on. Why would you chose to go slow and inconvenience them further when you are already inconveniencing other drivers by using two spaces.

Why couldn't she just have used one of the other empty spaces? She could have parked and been out in the car in the time she was faffing about fuming
SausageSizzle · 27/10/2021 19:15

YANBU. If you're waiting for someone to exit a parking space because you want that space, you take the risk that they might be a while. Very unreasonable to get irritated because they don't immediately vacate it for you. The space is not 'available' until they've left and they don't have to hurry for you.

Pandaly · 27/10/2021 19:16

Was it the space she was directed to wait for her drive through order?

ittakes2 · 27/10/2021 19:23

Maybe she had issues walking that were not eligible for a permit but she wanted to be closer to where she was going. She also couldn't see you were changing a baby. She was bad but you are just as bad - just because you have a baby doesn't mean you are entitled to act an ass either.

Original poster
FTM91 · 27/10/2021 19:24

It was just a completely regular space, quite far from the entrance too.
The several other available spaces were visible on the drive in.
I tried to use the baby change inside but it was in the disabled loo, locked with a radar key, no staff to be seen apart from behind the counter and long queues.

Totally accept I was being petty (I was!) Just thought her decision was weird and revving loudly rude.

OP posts:
BayandBlonde · 27/10/2021 19:30

Yes maybe she could have parked elsewhere. But why should she, she chose that space just like you chose yours. A baby doesn't entitle you to take up two spaces though.

You were both being a bit stubborn and petty. Sorry

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/10/2021 19:35

A friend of mine (really) has a camper van and tends to park in the far corner of supermarket carparks said someone came and parked right next to them, even though the car park was empty, and then found they couldn't open their door! Eventually they moved one bay down.

Must be some sort of herd or pack mentality where they don't want to be in the open and vulnerable to attacks from bears or wolves or squirrels.
Although it was Waitrose where, of course you don't get these sort of wild animals except when Camilla finds out THERE IS NO TRUFFLE AND SNAKE WOK SEASONING Oil and then all hell breaks out. Shock

FOJN · 27/10/2021 19:42

Why couldn't she just have used one of the other empty spaces? She could have parked and been out in the car in the time she was faffing about fuming

You have no idea if the other driver was faffing and fuming. The issue for me was not the other drivers decision making but the OP's decision to childishly draw out her departure. Why would any reasonable adult deliberately take longer than necessary to do what they needed to, we know the OP did because it's the title of the thread and to cap it all she's here crowing about it. If the other driver was being impatient then the OP's actions would only exacerbate that, who has the time and energy to intentionally irritate someone further.

The OP gives a YABU/YANBU which both involve the other driver doing something different, at no point does she consider that meeting dick behaviour with dick behaviour is unreasonable.

Moonwatcher1234 · 27/10/2021 20:00

@BigYellowHat

How annoying.

For the other driver. The world doesn’t revolve around you because you have a baby.

Well, it does a bit! Sorry but most people with babies get a free pass for lots of things and that’s the way it should be. Eg letting parent and baby go first in a queue etc.
KarmaStar · 27/10/2021 20:11

Ywbvu,you sound quite unpleasant to be honest,you don't know why she wanted that spot but decided to be spiteful.shame on you.

justaddcandlelight · 27/10/2021 20:15

I think both of you were being petty.

Charlene1971 · 27/10/2021 20:21

@BigYellowHat

How annoying.

For the other driver. The world doesn’t revolve around you because you have a baby.

@BigYellowHat

Wow, bitter much? This comment really made me cringe....😬😬

hangrylady · 27/10/2021 20:27

@Basicbitch40

Why not go inside to change the baby? I've never changed a baby in a car.
Car is much more preferable than a stinking public loo. I find the boot better than the passenger seat though!
FrDamo · 27/10/2021 20:32

I had something similar happen to me recently but I wasn't the one changing the nappy.

I pulled into a motorway service station, parked well away from the building in a car park that was max 25% occupied, with empty spaces on either side, not one or two spaces but 5+. So very much the deserted end of the car park.

On returning to the car after food/loo etc, I find a car parked next to mine, with the back door open and contacting/scratching my car/paintwork. Two parents are attending to the baby's nappy on the back seat. I can't get in my car. My paintwork is damaged.

WTF were they thinking? Choose any other of the 200 or more empty spaces in the car park. If you must park next to my car (and you are free to do so) change the nappy on the other side of the car, which is also an empty space and don't bang your door into my car.

Absolute idiots! Give me strength.

HikingforScenery · 27/10/2021 20:32

Yabu for drawing it out and making her wait longer than necessary when you’d taken an extra space

Who knows, she might have been giving you an understanding smile .

Your action was unnecessary

BigYellowHat · 27/10/2021 20:43

@Charlene1971 Bitter about what? I don’t even drive and my children were out of nappies 14 plus years ago.

Summerfun54321 · 27/10/2021 20:44

Your door and arse were using the space, it wasn’t free, she should have parked elsewhere.

wizzywig · 27/10/2021 20:44

Yanbu! Thigh roll care is very important. Little cutie baby!

IdLoveToButCantBeArsed · 27/10/2021 20:45

I had this recently in a supermarket carpark. I was parked at the furthest point from the shop, so loads of spaces, I had recycling in the car boot so was loading my shopping into the back seat instead.
A car came, revved and then beeped at me. There were literally 3 free spaces the other side of my car. It was only when I drove off I realised it was because they were a shit driver didn't want to reverse so wanted to drive through the space next to me into the free space in front of that!

LowlandLucky · 27/10/2021 20:46

Years ago we had to fight to get baby changing areas, now they are not good enough. I am pretty sure most Mums don't bother to return to their cars when they are out shopping to change their little ones rather than use the baby changing places.

Summerfun54321 · 27/10/2021 20:55

Why are people falling over themselves trying to think of ways to criticise the OP for being harassed for just taking up some space in the world?! Honestly if you hate mums and babies that much, go find a different forum to vent on. OP had every right to be in the car park doing what she needed to do to get herself and baby sorted however long that took.