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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore ‘What are you reading?’

79 replies

EmJay19 · 26/10/2021 22:13

Well I’m not bloody reading if I’m talking to you am I!

Over the last week been asked by:

A work colleague. I’d barely read two lines.
My husband when he got bored scrolling on his phone during a train journey
A salesman in a posh clothes shop while DH tried on clothes
Pretty sure there was one more…

YABU to want 5 mins peace and quiet and not to want to stop reading to discuss what you’ve just stopped reading
YANBU reading a book clearly means don’t talk to me and piss the piss off

OP posts:
Dojacatpaws · 26/10/2021 22:24

Can't vote either option, I love reading and am very happy to stop and talk to someone about the book, stop being so curmudgeonly

Chocolatewheatos · 26/10/2021 22:27

I act so engrossed that I didn't hear them. Although I often am actually so I pull it off well.

DdraigGoch · 26/10/2021 22:33

Channel Norman Stanley Fletcher.

"What are you reading?"
"A book"
"What sort of book?"
"A paperback"
"Is it a dirty book?"
"Filthy; I dropped it in the yard"

Basically just avoid giving them the answer they're after.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 26/10/2021 23:35

They don't really care what you're reading.

They are just being polite and friendly and making small conversation.

You should do the same.

Oh, and what ARE you reading currently?

Danikm151 · 27/10/2021 02:20

It pisses me off. Just let me read my book!

User527294627 · 27/10/2021 06:30

Yanbu. Who actually thinks it’s polite to interrupt someone clearly engaged in an activity to make inane small talk?

picklemewalnuts · 27/10/2021 06:45

Someone who thinks you are reading because there's nothing else to do, and you'd far rather a chat with someone if you had the choice!

Fallagain · 27/10/2021 06:55

“Nothing at the moment because I keep being interrupted.” Followed by a Paddington stare.

Fallagain · 27/10/2021 06:56

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

They don't really care what you're reading.

They are just being polite and friendly and making small conversation.

You should do the same.

Oh, and what ARE you reading currently?

There is nothing polite about interrupting someone mid task when they clearly don’t want to chat to you.
Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 06:59

I mean I wouldn’t personally ignore someone. People frequently ask me what I’m reading - I take it as an invitation to bore them at length about my book, since they asked.

And if you’re reading in a clothes shop I don’t think it’s abnormal for a shop worker to politely make conversation. Same for colleagues. Rather than ignoring, a quick ‘oh just my favourite, 50 shades of grey’ only takes a second.

Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 07:01

Also, quickly answering the question then returning to the book, or saying ‘must get on, dying to finish it’ will end the conversation much quicker than ignoring/giving cryptic answers to try and show you’re annoyed.

ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife · 27/10/2021 07:15

They’re just trying to be friendly.

Sirzy · 27/10/2021 07:33

I am a big reader but I accept that if I’m reading in a public place that I will have to be in a position to come in and out of the book while communicating with others.

overnightangel · 27/10/2021 07:37

Is the fact you were in a “posh” clothes shop relevant?
Do those of higher breeding know not to ask what one is reading? Confused

onelittlefrog · 27/10/2021 07:39

If you're reading in a public place then people probably will make conversation with you.

They're just being polite/ sociable.

If you really don't want to be interrupted then read at home.

hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 07:41

They’re just trying to be friendly.
What is friendly about interrupting someone’s hobby/activity, when it’s an activity that can only be pursued when not being interrupted. Christ alive. Was it all men, OP? The same ones who’ll gesture for you to take headphones off so they can chat to you, as their inane blather takes priority over what you want. (I see one of them is your DH so apols but also I’d brain him with the book.)

Practice baring your teeth and growling.

dinosaurblues · 27/10/2021 07:43

I just think it is another reader being genuinely interested in what you are reading.

I suppose the same would happen if you were knitting something, you would be asked what you were making.

hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 07:45

Yeah but you can knit and chat at the same time. Can’t read and talk.

LadyCleathStuart · 27/10/2021 07:54

Well the salesperson is probably told to make conversation with customers.

Your work colleague is trying to be polite.

Your husband should know that your are a grumpy so and so and not ask you.

Are you one of those types who takes their reading oh so seriously that you cannot possibly be disturbed?

And who reads in a shop anyway??

grapewine · 27/10/2021 07:59

Tbh the salesperson probably asked because they thought it was strange you were reading in a clothes shop.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 27/10/2021 08:06

They are just being polite and friendly and making small conversation.

People who do this belong in the last circle of hell, and are probably the sort who think because they’d rather chat than read, they’re saving you from having to read, having not considered the possibility that someone would rather read than chat.

The same people usually come out with “Oh, I never read” as if it’s a virtue, or “I wish I had more time to read!” Well, stop fucking talking and you might.

Whereismumhiding3 · 27/10/2021 08:18

I answer the question if I don't mind and then say "I'm enjoying reading, we can talk another time"

Unless it was a salesman as it's unlikely he's really interested in what I'm reading more that I'm not available for a sales chat. So that's what I'd say "I am happily reading something personal. Thank-you but I don't need help right now"

Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 08:28

@Whereismumhiding3

I answer the question if I don't mind and then say "I'm enjoying reading, we can talk another time"

Unless it was a salesman as it's unlikely he's really interested in what I'm reading more that I'm not available for a sales chat. So that's what I'd say "I am happily reading something personal. Thank-you but I don't need help right now"

Wouldn’t it be better just to, you know, be normal? Nobody would talk like that.

Someone standing with a book in the middle of a clothes shop is unusual. It’s not a reading lounge. Of course staff are going to approach and try to engage them. Rather than a long winded and pompous ‘I am happily enjoying reading something personal thank you and do not need help right now,’ wouldn’t it be better to say ‘yeah the new Stephen King - just reading while I wait for my husband!’

hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 08:30

What’s a reading lounge and can I have one?

Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 08:34

A library near us has one. It’s separate from the actual library area and is just a space to read in.

Nobody asks what you’re reading there as the social convention dictates that most people are there because they want to quietly read.

Unlike in a ‘posh clothes shop.’