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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore ‘What are you reading?’

79 replies

EmJay19 · 26/10/2021 22:13

Well I’m not bloody reading if I’m talking to you am I!

Over the last week been asked by:

A work colleague. I’d barely read two lines.
My husband when he got bored scrolling on his phone during a train journey
A salesman in a posh clothes shop while DH tried on clothes
Pretty sure there was one more…

YABU to want 5 mins peace and quiet and not to want to stop reading to discuss what you’ve just stopped reading
YANBU reading a book clearly means don’t talk to me and piss the piss off

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 09:53

@hotmeatymilk

Honestly have you ever worked retail? Yes. Would you stand behind the counter of a clothing shop looking affectionately at the woman who is standing aimlessly in the store deep in a good book? I never looked at any customer affectionately, they’re a necessary affliction to the trade. But why on earth would I approach anyone who’s reading a book, just to interrupt them?
Because sitting in a shop reading isn’t the intended purpose of the shop. Much like you wouldn’t allow someone to loiter about playing on their phone/listening to music. She could have simply said ‘just waiting for my husband, he’s trying something on.’

It’s a shop, not somewhere for you to chill out reading your book. They may not have been aware she was actually with a customer.

hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 09:55

Thanks, I understand what shops are and still don’t and wouldn’t care if someone read a book in one. And the sales assistant isn’t the only one in the OP interrupting OP’s reading: there’s the DH and the colleague too. What’s their excuse?

Kanaloa · 27/10/2021 10:11

@hotmeatymilk

Thanks, I understand what shops are and still don’t and wouldn’t care if someone read a book in one. And the sales assistant isn’t the only one in the OP interrupting OP’s reading: there’s the DH and the colleague too. What’s their excuse?
How should I know, it’s her husband. Presumably she can have a conversation with him and say I’m reading stop annoying me.

And colleagues will often say something to me as they enter the staff room. It’s just something bland to say, similar to ‘ooh it’s busy today.’

TheLastLonelyBakedBeanInTheTin · 27/10/2021 10:27

With strangers, they are making small talk. You can engage in that conversation, or you can give them a quick answer but also make it clear they don't want to talk, or you can just ignore Them which is rude. Husband, you can just tell him to Sod off, though, can't you?

Mrstamborineman · 27/10/2021 10:29

Oh I hate this. Or is it any good? what’s it about?

JaneJeffer · 27/10/2021 10:29

If you don't want to speak just hold up the cover so they can see it but it would only take a second to reply so I can't see what the big deal is.

EatYourVegetables · 27/10/2021 10:32

Here’s a woman! Let’s ignore her very obvious nonverbal cue that she wants to be alone and interrupt her! If she doesn’t comply let’s tell her she’s rude! She should also smile more btw,

SillyLittleBiscuit · 27/10/2021 10:34

It's rude to interrupt someone, it's not rude to not want to make small talk with strangers. Why would anyone care what you're reading? Makes no sense. It's just to demand attention.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/10/2021 10:36

See I don't mind this because I like talking about books almost as much as I like reading, and I wouldn't expect to get much reading done anyway sitting outside a changing room.

It would annoy me at home if someone was just interrupting me because they were bored though, and I would strongly encourage them to go and find something useful to do.

Dojacatpaws · 27/10/2021 10:37

Sillylittlebiscuit, because they've read it themselves?

Topseyt · 27/10/2021 10:38

@Fallagain

“Nothing at the moment because I keep being interrupted.” Followed by a Paddington stare.
I love that as a response. 🤣

I don't see it as in any way rude to read in a public space (on a park bench, on public transport, in a café) if I am out on my own. I've done it plenty of times and really don't want some arsehole butting in with the Spanish Inquisition about it.

Dojacatpaws · 27/10/2021 10:38

I'm with theyearofsmallthings, I like talking about books so feel free to ask me what I'm reading

Griselda1 · 27/10/2021 10:39

The last time I asked someone what they were reading they held up their AA book. It certainly was a conversation stopper and I won't ever ask again.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 27/10/2021 10:40

If they've read it themselves they'll know what's being read. If they want a discussion they should join a book club. I'm probably just really grumpy but I really don't want to talk to people I don't know (and not always people I do) and especially not when I'm engrossed in a book or a podcast.

PinkiOcelot · 27/10/2021 10:41

Who reads in a clothes shop?! Posh or otherwise?

IntermittentParps · 27/10/2021 10:44

I love "What are you reading?" as a general conversation starter, but not while I'm actually trying to read, please!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/10/2021 10:49

Who reads in a clothes shop?! Posh or otherwise?

Me, if I found a seat! I also read when I was in labour, and I hope to be reading on my deathbed. And then be buried with a few good books, because I don't like to be without one.

TheLastLonelyBakedBeanInTheTin · 27/10/2021 10:56

@Griselda1

The last time I asked someone what they were reading they held up their AA book. It certainly was a conversation stopper and I won't ever ask again.
Ha! I would use that as a conversation starter but then I am probably just nosey Grin
Dojacatpaws · 27/10/2021 10:57

Griselda - do you mean automobile association or alcoholics anonymous, why are either a conversation stopper?

IntermittentParps · 27/10/2021 10:59

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Who reads in a clothes shop?! Posh or otherwise?

Me, if I found a seat! I also read when I was in labour, and I hope to be reading on my deathbed. And then be buried with a few good books, because I don't like to be without one.

You don't even need a seat, surely? Grin The question 'Who reads in a...?' marks out the dilettantes from the real book obsessives, IMO.
Wifflywafflywoo · 27/10/2021 11:00

If I feel I'm not getting enough attention from DP I open my Kindle. Two minutes later he's there. It's like magic! First the little peek to see what I'm doing, then shuffling closer, then the insatiable urge to keep trying to chat or cuddle. For uninterrupted reading time I read whilst there's sport on TV

Couchbettato · 27/10/2021 11:02

Ugh, XH used to ask what I was reading every 5 minutes when I was just trying to doom scroll, or when I was 18 pages balls deep into a juicy parking thread on Mumsnet.

If I just said "parking thread" he'd want full details that you really just don't want to give 18 pages in.

When the world floods, the "what are you reading" people aren't getting on my ark that's for sure.

Rinoachicken · 27/10/2021 11:04

I think it’s human nature to be curious. If you see someone, or a group of people, staring or looking in a direction intently, then chances are you’ll also look - purely to see what they are looking at. On a primal level we do this in case there is a threat or opportunity we were unaware of (have others seen a tiger/food source we hadn’t noticed).

I think this is the same thing at its root. On a primal (and possibly unconscious level) they want to know what it is that has your attention so completely.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/10/2021 11:16

You don't even need a seat, surely?

It's safest if I sit. I was once reading on the tube, standing between the seats holding the rail above me with one hand, and a great big Stephen King book in the other. Unfortunately I lost control of the book while trying to turn the page one-handed, and launched it like a brick into the head of a seated passenger. She certainly was in no doubt what I was reading that day Blush.