Stop teaching child that it’s okay to refer to someone’s skin colour

[CannotThinkOfName]

Calling someone - a random person you don’t know - black is racist. I don’t care if your personal friend or your family member or someone else you’re close to doesn’t mind being referred to like this because they’re speaking for themselves as individuals.

Pointing out someone by skin colour is rude at best and at worst a form of racism. This is because

1. Skin colour that I was born with is brown.
2. Skin colour that I was born with does not define anyone. It doesn’t define your traits, characteristics, hobbies, goals, ambitions or anything else that truly defines who a person is.
3. It’s a form of racial harassment to start bothering someone at random and bringing up their race and colour for no real reason and singling them out by it.

I’ve seen people say there’s nothing wrong with their child referring to people by skin because they are just “saying what they see”. This is wrong because as a child, I never ever saw myself as “black” or described myself “black”. This is taught as a way to refer to people, it’s not simply a child “saying what they see”.

Please stop teaching your child that it’s okay to refer to people that you don’t know this way. If you do know someone and they’ve told you to call them black then that’s their choice as an individual. They don’t speak for anyone else but themselves.

If you don’t know someone’s name, - just ask them what their name is and call them by their actual name. Not “that black girl” or “the black woman” or “that black lady”.

You're being disingenuous now with false equivalences. I'm out.

@CannotThinkOfName

I feel like there’s a lot of unfairness. Why can Asians be called Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi when many of them are dark brown too. Why does no one here force them to accept being called black?

If people of African descent are black, then Asians are too. So are North Africans and Middle Easterns. In fact why stop there, Indigenous Australians are also black, Polynesians too, also add brown skinned South Americans.

If people disagree with this post, I would like to know why.

I feel like there’s this underlying need to make sure people of African descent are kept at the bottom. With the “brown people” allowed to be in the middle, then white people at the top. No, I’m not accepting that.

Personally, I think Native Americans are at the bottom as if you look at their homelands, they’ve been almost entirely genocided. Africa is still full of black people, the Americas isn’t full of Native Americans.

I think you are confusing colourism with racism too.

Btw, over a billion Asians are not brown or black. We are very diverse.

@CannotThinkOfName

I feel like there’s a lot of unfairness. Why can Asians be called Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi when many of them are dark brown too. Why does no one here force them to accept being called black?

If people of African descent are black, then Asians are too. So are North Africans and Middle Easterns. In fact why stop there, Indigenous Australians are also black, Polynesians too, also add brown skinned South Americans.

If people disagree with this post, I would like to know why.

I feel like there’s this underlying need to make sure people of African descent are kept at the bottom. With the “brown people” allowed to be in the middle, then white people at the top. No, I’m not accepting that.

So you'd prefer to be called brown?

Or maybe African ?

Since people from the countries you gave examples of tend to be described as Asian ?

I can’t quote you but what if I told you I wouldn’t be offended at all of someone referred to me as b-tch?

That would offend me and all the black women I know.

Maybe your social mixing is, eerm. a bit niche

It’s not that they like being called black, rather they are indifferent, because black is in the colour of their skin.

It just seems like you are going to spend your life being offended for nothing, OP.

Branding everybody racist like that is not right, the majority of people who use the word black aren’t racist.

"If you’re not black yourself, you don’t have any right to tell someone what’s racist or not because you’re not at the receiving end of it."
That is a ridiculous comment. Of course anyone can have a view on racism regardless of whether they are at the receiving end of it or not. Just like any oth the topic. We cannot censor people on that basis.

For what it's worth my girls teacher was recently explaining to the kids about history and as such outlining the situation for black minorities at the time and rules in place etc my daughter was quite clear that the word black included people like her father (Indian) and indeed would have included herself too at the time (mixed race though she is my mainly white so I doubt anyone would ever refer to her as black now as it wouldn't be very factual/a very accurate descriptor).

This isn’t “goady” it’s something that needed to be said.

Really ?

I was referred to as the white women all the time when I was in India as I suppose its the main feature that stood me out from everyone else.

OP I absolutely agree. I am not from the UK and I learned this quite early on after moving here. I am taken aback at people having a go at you. People just don't seem to want to learn anything at all

By the way, my son when we moved here was 3.5 and he has never seen a Black person before. He became friends at nursery with an Ethiopian girl. First time he started talking about her - giving me the name I haven't known, I asked how she looked. He said she had curly hair. He didn't not have any idea that she was Black; it was not put in his head. He definitely did not see skin shades as identifying characteristic that was worth mentioning

I'd just describe you as the aggressive woman with the massive chip on her shoulder to be honest.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

OP you aren't open to people challenging the irony / hypocrisy of your post. Even though multiple people have done so. You made your statement and have repeated it a number of times. Perhaps best to agree to disagree with people on this one.

Being open to people challenging my post means agreeing with them and saying - yes, you’re so correct, I am black, I love being called black, being called black and having my skin colour pointed out is definitely not racist and I like it and in fact, all black people like it.

That’s not going to happen and I’m never going to agree with anyone telling me that.

No one can or should dictate the terms that can be used to describe me. If I say I don’t like the words you’re saying about me, regarding my skin, you will be reported for racism, racial abuse and racial harassment. No one has any right to apply racial labels on a person that doesn’t want to be called that. People should respect that.

reaching out for Black as THE identifying characteristic, especially used by white people discussing black people, definitely has racist undertones - it just reinforces race as a construct

OP I actively use white as a descriptor, especially when talking to my DC, in the same way I would use black or another physical attribute, to try to counter whiteness as the default.

This is something I've only done for a couple of years though, and maybe I'm unusual in doing it - white people do make up 86% of the UK population which may be a factor.

Can you tell me how I go about asking the people that I meet how they would like me to refer to them? Do I have to do it to every person of colour I meet?

@PlanDeRaccordement Asians are not black but all Africans are? Why?

@CannotThinkOfName
You tell me because like I said previously, I’ve never heard someone being described as white in a day to day situation. Whiteness is something that’s never used as a descriptor

Have you never travelled to a predominantly non-white country? You can’t seriously believe I wasn’t referred to as “the white girl” when I worked in Malawi?

• agree with your position OP. By saying ‘the black lady’ suggests that the standard is white and the person being discussed deviates from the standard. I don’t ever hear the ‘white lady’ as a descriptor. I am white and I think it is racist.*

I think you would if the crowd she was in were predominantly another colour.

it's actually pretty depressing to read this thread.

@Clumsyvolcano

It’s not that they like being called black, rather they are indifferent, because black is in the colour of their skin.

It just seems like you are going to spend your life being offended for nothing, OP.

Branding everybody racist like that is not right, the majority of people who use the word black aren’t racist.

I will brand anyone racist who I feel is racist. Thankfully, the law is on my side and racism is determined by whether the victim feels it’s racist.

Why mention Malawi if we are talking about Britain with minority Black population and a history of slavery?

@hangrylady

I'd just describe you as the aggressive woman with the massive chip on her shoulder to be honest.

Aggressive? Interesting.

@hangrylady

I'd just describe you as the aggressive woman with the massive chip on her shoulder to be honest.

Yes whip them out! "Aggressive" and "Massive chip on here shoulder" to an African woman for having "robust" arguments a la mumsnet. How original! We see you.

What else? "Know your place"?

I'd just describe you as the aggressive woman with the massive chip on her shoulder to be honest

Innit

Anyway you are now off taking about other skin colours and no they don’t get referred to as black or brown generally Asian I am not sure why. But my understanding that other people with African , Caribbean etc descent collectively prefer that term therefore that’s what is used. I just don’t see your point apart from you have a personal preference and if I knew you and I knew that I’d respect your individual position on the matter.

@CannotThinkOfName

“I do not think that referring to someone's skin colour is racist”.

It’s racist. It’s just that it’s a form of racism that has been normalised. People need to quit it.

So if we're not to refer to someone's skin colour, where does that leave things like Black History Month which is based upon a person's skin colour by definition?