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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Soft play hell

123 replies

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 11:08

I live near a small soft play which I take my 3 year old and baby to regularly as it's one of those soft plays that you can see your kid wherever they are and it's never super busy as it's quite small, it's very clean and the owner is lovely.
Today there was a lady with her 3 year old twin boys. She basically ignored them the whole time with her nose in her phone, except to give them each a mars bar which they then carried around the soft play smearing chocolate all over the place. Once high on sugar they were literally climbing the furniture (not soft play equipment) knocking over the hand gel stands and playing with the hand gel, throwing the soft play equipment at everyone, and taking over the baby are which is 2 and younger. They screamed at the top of their lungs the whole time! My head is banging. The only time mum looked up was to say 'pack it in' to them when they were playing with the hand gel.
I felt sorry for the people working there as the owner wasn't in and both were quite young and they didn't really know what to do. I had to tell the boys twice to be gentle in the baby area and stop the bringing in wheelie bugs into the baby area and snatching my son's own toy off him.
I really wanted to say something to the mum but honestly I didn't know what to say that wouldn't have got a very defensive reaction. What should I have said if anything? It's so frustrating as they ruined the experience today. Perhaps they had additional needs, I don't know, but that doesn't excuse mum just sitting there playing on her phone and failing to parent full stop. Grrrr

OP posts:
Lesserspottedmama · 25/10/2021 13:19

I hope no one ever judges me at soft play or the park for being on my phone as that is pretty much the only occasions I go on my phone during the day! At home I give them all my time and most of the time we are out is nature walks, plays dates etc. So the occasions we go to the park and soft play I try to let them get on with it as much as possible and snatch some phone time.
That being said op, you are definitely not unreasonable. No one should be ignoring their children while they run riot and cause havoc and stress to others. Maybe she is going through some kind of crises, possibly she is just a selfish person with a permissive parenting style. Sorry your afternoon was spoiled.

Abouttimemum · 25/10/2021 13:20

I saw a lad clout a little girl full force around the head at soft play so I told him off. Mum came over and said the girl had been ‘winding him up’ so I told the mum off too.
No wonder lads grow up thinking they can do whatever the fuck they want. Same lad also called some other boys c.
I have a DS btw, for full disclosure.
I absolutely understand that it might be the only break some people get but also if I take DS somewhere expecting to get five minutes and I don’t because he’s acting up and needs to be parented, then it’s tough really!

Lesserspottedmama · 25/10/2021 13:20

Crisis I mean

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 13:22

@lesserspottedmama no judgement for playing on your phone ..I was only judging the fact she didn't check what her kids were up to.

OP posts:
Hattie765 · 25/10/2021 13:25

As a mother to 3 year old boy twins (we weren't at soft play today) I feel sorry for their mum and understand totally her desire to bury herself in her phone for a bit but even I (a very hands off mum sometimes, don't judge I've not slept longer than a couple hours in 3 years) would have intervened in this scenario and attempted some discipline x

funinthesun19 · 25/10/2021 13:29

I’m usually quick to jump to the defence of parents with young children. But climbing on tables and flicking hand sanitiser at people is a bit OTT and the mum should have stopped them from doing stuff like that no matter how exhausted she might be.
Screaming in a play centre is fine. Being giddy and having loads of energy in a play centre is fine. But some things are just… nah.

BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:29

And I'm sure many other parents will agree.

I'm sure they will. And they will be wrong too, buying in to the "sugar high" myth.

If your kid has a specific issue with hyperactivity due to certain foods, see a doctor. Sugar high is not a thing with kids (or adults). Stop perpetuating that myth.

Hattie765 · 25/10/2021 13:30

God just read about the Mars bar, feel much better about giving my twins little bags of chocolate buttons now 🤣🤣🤣

BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:31

I will agree to disagree with you

You can disagree with me all you like. You can't disagree with science, though.

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 13:31

@boredzelda yes mum

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:33

yes mum

Ahh, that's your brand of ignorance. I get it.

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 13:39

@boredzelda. You sound like you need a hug. You're not being very nice so I can only assume you're having a shitty time. You were being a bit 'mumish' you can't tell other people on the tinterweb what to say and believe ok? Maybe find something else to do that makes you less angry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 13:40

@boredzelda also if you have any links to the science that debunks sugarhighs I would genuinely be interested. Not enough to actually search for it myself though🤣

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:42

you can't tell other people on the tinterweb what to say and believe ok?

I absolutely can call out people who don't believe in science. You can choose to continue to be ignorant if you wish. You can even continue to to patronising and twee if you wish. I'll continue to call you out on that bullshit too. Better that than letting you post crap about a sugar high and trying to make other people believe it too.

BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:44

also if you have any links to the science that debunks sugarhighs I would genuinely be interested. Not enough to actually search for it myself though🤣

If you can't be bothered typing three words in to google, I can't see you'd bother to read any link I posted.

2bazookas · 25/10/2021 13:45

You had two options, either, speak to the mother yourself.
OR, firmly tell the paid staff to deal with a safety issue.

You didn't do either. It's a bit late to complain about another mother not taking responsibility.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 25/10/2021 13:47

@2bazookas

You had two options, either, speak to the mother yourself. OR, firmly tell the paid staff to deal with a safety issue.

You didn't do either. It's a bit late to complain about another mother not taking responsibility.

OPs allowed to come on here for a moan
Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 13:47

@boredzelda ok, but I'm taking your say so about the science. I'm not ignoring research that I've read. And Ill continue to do what I think is best for my child. For what it's worth you have a very prickly, condescending way of trying to convey interesting facts that rubs me up the wrong way. They are nicer ways and I would have probably been more open to you if you had a) provided links to the research and b) not been rude. Have a nice day. I'm not going to interact with you anymore.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 25/10/2021 13:48

^ YANBU
This isn’t on.

BoredZelda · 25/10/2021 13:50

For what it's worth you have a very prickly, condescending way of trying to convey interesting facts that rubs me up the wrong way.

Oh noes. However will I sleep tonight? 🙄

Sofiegiraffe · 25/10/2021 14:05

I went there because I was too tired after no sleep to want to entertain my old child. Lazy as that might sound haha

You didn't want to entertain your own child but you made a thread to criticise another mum for doing the same? Is that right? Confused

Worldwide2 · 25/10/2021 14:05

Just to add onto the sugar high myth. One of my mates kids who they are quite strict when it comes to sugary snacks ect he had a can of coke which is rare for him and I'm not kidding he went berserk. Dancing jumping like he went mental for about half an hour and he was really sweating. He was only about 8 I think at the time. Why would he react like that after one can of coke? He was fine before. Everyone noticed the change in him. Then after he just sat exhausted and sweating lol

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 14:10

@sofiegiraffe know that's not right. I couldn't be bothered to do arts and crafts or play make believe or whatever today. I took him to soft play. I still supervised him. I'm criticising the other mum for not supervising her twin boys. I'm not criticising her for taking them to softplay so she can sit down for a bit, that's the perk of soft play. But you have to you know look up occasionally and check your sons aren't terrorising the baby area.

OP posts:
Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 14:10

*no not know

OP posts:
Oh4Tunas · 25/10/2021 14:12

Ignoring your wild creatures children is bad parenting.

Judge away, OP! Everyone judges everyone else, however pure they pretend to be. People mostly seem only to mind the judging when they recognise themselves in the behaviour being judged at the moment.

I think next time I'd have a word with the staff. However young they are, that's part of the job!

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